I relapsed with compulsive sexual behavior today. A month ago I was 7 months abstained from all forms of compulsive sexual behavior like masturbation, looking at pictures or videos of people kissing or wearing lingerie or revealing clothing. (side note: i was 7 months clean from these activities mentioned previously, but i have been free from porn for about a year). but i relapsed looking at these pictures and masturbated. Since then I've had 4 binge days where I did this several times in one day. Today I did the same. I looked at these pictures and masturbated for about an hour, but I found a way to bypass the anti-porn filter on the computer and looked at porn images for about a minute or two. I'm 18 and about to turn 19, even then I know 5 year olds with more internet freedom than me. All the devices in the house have passwords to keep me out. But I heard my dad say the password for the family computer while he was logging in (he didn't know I was listening). That is how I have been able to binge when I'm home alone. This vicious cycle has been happening since I confessed my addiction to my family when I was 13. I want to stop, but I don't have motivation. I feel overwhelmed and tired and drained. These feelings are fading though, which is also bad. I don't feel nearly as bad anymore after I binge (which I think is just as bad because it allows me to keep going in my addiction without having guilt which can give me motivation to stop). I have spoken to some close friends from my church for advice in the past when I was really bad, but I don't see it necessary right now cause I'm not nearly as addicted as I was before. I also have confessed so many times to my parents (in an attempt to motivate myself to quit and to get advice from them) but I don't see the point in confessing my binges to my parents because they have already done everything they could to help me. At first, they comforted me and supported me but now my mom is not understanding, she has panic attacks and blames them on me, slaps me, and tells me i'm a pervert and with no future. My dad just gives vague advice like "make changes already". He doesn't understand either and just gets depressed when I talk to him about my addiction. I’m scared as hell for my own future. I’m not going to my parents for help anymore though, I know I can help myself out of this and that I will grow strong enough to break free from my addictions forever. Any advice for how I can actually do this? Thanks.