well the affair may not have been physical... but it happened and IS emotional... she loves me. we love each other more than ever. sex is great lately too. like break up sex except we aren't breaking up... We're looking to going to see a counsellor about helping us maintain an open marriage.. although it wasn't my idea - it's something i've always thought is probably the most natural to the human animal... although all systems - and there are many on earth - are potentially good. I had open relationships earlier in life which did ok but ultimately me or my girlfriends were not realistic open enough.... now after decades of marriage and life experience - MAYBE it'll work... time to try.... and we know that come what may the marriage/kids and matrimonial home are solid.. I don't have a problem if y'all wanna spout your gut reactions - i appreciate all of it. but i'd especially like to hear from anyone who knows from experience about various open marriages with kids, and a matrimonial home being involved.../? Or, about books or expert advice on this specific life choice from those who have professional experiance. We aren't rushing into it as we care deeplt about each other but want to have the courage to do it right - with honesty and consideration for all. Thanks, Breath.