My way to success(DAY 64)

Discussion in 'Ages -19' started by Palikaros, Apr 28, 2012.

  1. Palikaros

    Palikaros New Member

    Hey everybody!

    In 10 days i ll become 19 years and i started watching porn and masturbating when i was 14 years old!The experienced was incredible!When you see so many naked and hot women in front of your pc,while in real word you had never seen anyone,it was a god`s gift.

    That almost 5 years 99 to 100 times i am masturbating only through porn.I was masturbating every day for 1 time,rarely 2 times!If one day for any reason i couldn t masturbate,next day i couldn t put out of my head porn and i wanted as hell to masturbate

    My social anxiety is very increased and my confidence is very low and i hope this is caused due to porn addiction!Also,my experience with women is very low and i have a lot of anxiety in front of them!
    I discovered YBOP before 1,5 week and i decided to stop my addiction

    So,here my journal begins!

    Good luck to everybody who are in the same way to total recovery!
  2. Palikaros

    Palikaros New Member

    Re: My way to success

    Day 8 now and during these days my social anxiety was increased and my mood not very good!Although only the fact that it is the first time since i started to masturbate that i am <clean> for 8 days without watching porn makes me feel more good!K9 web protection really helps a lot and i recommend it to everybody!

    When i want so much to see porn during these days,i know i cant because my web filter is not allowing me..

    Finally,i have a question and i need your help...

    Yesterday i went with my friends for fun in a strip show bar..Only from watching real woman dancing naked i think(really im not quite sure if that happen),i think i orgasmed without me doing nothing...

    Is this going me back to day 1?
  3. Palikaros

    Palikaros New Member

    Re: My way to success

    DAY 14

    Things are going better,no PMO these 2 weeks!I try to keep my self busy when im on internet and i don t want to see any porn..

    Although,i don t feel very horny for sex with real women,i still prefer or i know that its more easy with internet porn,but i know its still early

    I have noticed these 14 days me voice is more solid and also my confidence increased about 10%

    Plus,i have more free time through day and my brain isn t always thinking about porn and when i ll masturbate :p

    Keep walking...
  4. Re: My way to success

    Good to see that you're making improvements!
    About not being horny for regular sex, I guess that'll change over time. Nonetheless, wiring your brain to women is going to be another process, even after unwiring from porn.
    Good luck!
  5. Palikaros

    Palikaros New Member

    Re: My way to success(DAY 15)

    DAY 15

    Hopefully this day past also! This day was the most difficult since i started recovering!I wanted so much to masturbate and watch some porn,especially when in internet i was founding some hot women!

    My mind was thinking al lot of time through day about porn,but thanks god my resistance was amazing and i one more day passed without PMO!

    Still,im not geting stimulated by real women but i think that after 1-2 weeks this will naturally come

    Keep going everybody ;)
  6. Palikaros

    Palikaros New Member

    Re: My way to success(DAY 15)

    DAY 17

    Im confused...After day 5-7 where my self esteem reached to bottom and i was feeling miserable,things started to change!I thought this progress would be continually and bad days will pass!

    Although,now at day 17 i feel at same levels before i start avoiding PMO...Yesterday i was in a club and my social anxiety was very high..My brain still prefers imaginary girls rather than real one...

    Its a mirror i still have not relapsed,although i want so much to see a naked girl again in my pc :p

    Hope good days will come!!

    Cya all
  7. Palikaros

    Palikaros New Member

    Re: My way to success(DAY 18)

    DAY 18

    Another day passed without big cravings for PMO...

    Today i noticed that previous,before i stop PMO,i didn t care a lot to notice a hot girl,because i knew that i could saw a hot one in my screen naked in my pc screen having sex..Now,that i don t have this capability i notice them more!

    Generally,these 18 days i can t say that i have saw a big difference,but im not even in the middle and also i know that im on the right way..Lets see...

    P.S:Why noone reply to my journal? :p
  8. Re: My way to success(DAY 18)

    Hahaha. Hey, I replied haha. I think the guys just have nothing to say. You're doing fine, and honestly it doesn't seem like you need much advice. The situation seems under control. Are you flatlining?
  9. Palikaros

    Palikaros New Member

    Re: My way to success(DAY 18)

    Bro what "Are you flatlining" means? :p
  10. liveinthenow

    liveinthenow New Member

    Re: My way to success(DAY 18)

    It means you have little or no libido and no interest in sex. Some people experience it extensively.
  11. Palikaros

    Palikaros New Member

    Re: My way to success(DAY 18)

    Well.most of these days of journal i was flatlining or worst i was only fantasizing wanted to watch some porn..My brain wasn t desiring sex with real women...But there were some days that my libido was in high rate,like today,day 19!So...

    DAY 19

    There are some little evil thoughts come in my mind and say 'Ok,you are 19 days without PMO,it is not a problem if you PMO once"

    Fortunately,im doing all time other things not to think about it..

    Since,i stopped PMO,it seems like days don t go away...these 19 days were like 19 years..

    My target is to stop PM for ever,i want real girls in my life,not my hand :p
  12. Palikaros

    Palikaros New Member

    Re: My way to success(DAY 20)

    DAY 20

    Today was very different day..I am not quite sure but i think today morning i got a mini morning wood for some minutes...I thought it was from my need to pee,but it lasts a bit and after i finished pee..

    Today,my confidence was higher and i start getting interested more in real women..I mean,now i notice them!Before,i wasn t care because i knew i could saw naked models in my pc...

    And my journey continues...
  13. Palikaros

    Palikaros New Member

    Re: My way to success(DAY 23)

    DAY 23

    I have 3 days to update my journal...Well,these 3 days was the most difficult i had...

    From the one side was that these 3 days,i had the same feelings like the period i was PMOing...Low confidence etc...

    From the other side,i saw a a hot scene in TV for about 5 min(not porn,a thriller) and that made me think horny and wanted to PMO sooooo much...

    Till now,the moment i write,i want so much to PMO...I only think that i don t want these 23 days go for nothing,so i ll try not to think porn...

    I wish that this is the last obstacle from my brain,till i start seeing the results ;)
  14. fullset

    fullset Member

    Re: My way to success(DAY 23)

    Don't overload yourself with expectations. Just let the recovery take its normal course and you will be fine.
  15. Palikaros

    Palikaros New Member

    Re: My way to success(DAY 23)

    DAY 24

    Another day passed without anything important to mention...I have some urges to PMO,my confidence is in almost the same lvl even before my journal,only in my voice i see some difference!

    But as the friend above told,i must not have any expectations from my progress...My general goal is to replace imaginary woman with real one and stop PMOing,especially P,one and for ever!

    Keep going ;)
  16. Onanymous

    Onanymous Living in the real world now

    Re: My way to success(DAY 24)

    Congrats on Day 24!
  17. Palikaros

    Palikaros New Member

    Re: My way to success(DAY 24)

    DAY 25

    Good day today!My confidence was very good and generally my mood..I wasn t 100% flatlining but i wasnt feeling horny too

    Last 5 days i have some urges to PMO but im not going to do it,because i don t wanna ruin my effort..It s almost one month,not bad!

    By the way,if someone was telling me,before one year, to stop PMOing for more than 5 days,i was going to laugh...It was a routine in my life everyday to PMO in order to "wake up"..

    Now im day 25 and although,i didn t see a huge difference and i have my ups and downs.i continue,knowing that im in the good way!If i want to see a pussy,it must be a real one :p

    Keep going everybody :)
  18. Palikaros

    Palikaros New Member

    Re: My way to success(DAY 25)

    DAY 26

    Not something importnant to mention today,except one thing...

    It was raining all day today,so i stayed all time at home..Had a lot of free time and didn t knew really what to do..But i wanted soooooo much to go out,do something out of my home with other people!

    I don t know,if this is a result from my progress,but sure it is something..I mean and before i wanted to go out,but i didn t have problem if i was going to stay home...

    Today,i wanted soooooooo much to go out(fu$##$% wheather didn t let me :p)

    Good luck everybody ;)
  19. Palikaros

    Palikaros New Member

    Re: My way to success(DAY 27)

    DAY 27

    Strange day today...

    At the morning,my confidence was very high and i had decreased social anxiety!

    After evening,my mood dropped from 8/10 to 4/10 and also my confidence!I had increased social anxiety and my libido started to drop

    I notice that now i care more about real women,and as a friend in his journal told,women that they are normal and don t want a gangbang or a strange fetish we saw in porn!

    While,i was eating today at university,in the same table was eatting a girl and when she was going to eat,her nipples would appear(had huge breasts and a bit#@y face)When i saw it,i couldn t get off it and my penis became sensitive to it..Old days,for sure i would stare that nipples and breasts,but i couldn t care,because i knew i could see them at my pc at night,so i wasn t getting horny a lot

    I continue to have my ups and downs!It seems success is not a straing line

    Keep going everybody :)
  20. Palikaros

    Palikaros New Member

    Re: My way to success(DAY 28)

    DAY 28

    Another day that my mood and confidence was in low lever due to i was staying home,because the weather here sucks!

    Sometimes throughout the day,i was thinking about real girls naked and then i wanted so much to PMO!My penis is now more sensitive when i think something horny...

    2 days more and 1 month is done..Lol,in a bit i ll forget how to masturbate :p

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