My way to Liberty

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Libertad, Oct 22, 2013.

  1. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Yeah, what's up, Lib?
     
  2. Libertad

    Libertad Well-Known Member

    @titan_transcendence and @Saville thanks for asking. I am at day 12 today and my mood changes between, it is going ok and totally depressed.
    From the beginning of the month I also started a Zero (under 20g/day) Carb Keto style Eating. Maybe this plays into the mood thing too a bit till my Body becomes more adapted to it. I am doing it mainly because of my back, hip and knee pain to see if it helps with the inflamation.
    I try not to be too hard on myself when thinking about all my relapses. Beating myself up for the past to motivate myself for the future never worked in the past. I came to an agreemant with myself which I hopefully will be able to honor to not make a big deal out of a relapse in case I give in again, and imediately hopp on the waggon again. I am determined to build myself a live worth living, thats my main goal. It would be nice and the best to never PMO again, but in case it happens my world will hopefully not colapse again because of the relapse. I need to have a bigger goal in live than the not to relapse one. In the end my talk is only talk and theory as long as it is not going into motion and action. Small Actions and changes each day and whenever possible. My motivation is still very low, the Thing holding me back is myself. I think from my experience there is no Point for me to think to much About and why my Motivation is so low as Long as I dont stay away from PMO for a few months because we all know that PMO is a uge factor in sucking our energy and motivation out of us as Long as we do it. No more excuses, it were not the cravings or urges, it was me who decided each time to do it.
    I still enjoy the walks with the dog very much and also I started to walk alone in nature very early in the morning at 5 am when almost no one is around.
    Have a nice Sunday you all.
     
    Last edited: May 12, 2019
  3. Gilgamesh

    Gilgamesh Seize the day

    Indeed, otherwise you'll walk up against the 'now what?' barrier. I think that is also why it is so difficult to get back on the wagon after a relapse after a long streak. You will think 'OK I can do it again, but then what?'. It's just another void.

    Btw, how can you function on just 20g of food a day? :eek:


    Now that is being realistic. Trying to change all at once never works.
     
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  4. Libertad

    Libertad Well-Known Member

    Maybe I expresed it wrong, my english is not at 100%. What I meant is, that I eat Protein and fat as much as I want and try to keep the carbohydrates at a Minimum of under 20g/day to get into the ketonic state. No processed Foods, no wheat, no sugar, no grains. Dr. Darren Schmidt has a few good videos about this way of eating. I was vegan for 4,5years but it did not help with my Health issues besides from loosing weight. Now I try this way of Eating. :confused: It is a 180 compared to my vegan time. Lots of animal Protein and fat. I relapsed with Eating this way a few times over the last few months also. The cravings to chocolate, sweets and bread can be very strong.
     
  5. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    So true!

    This is great!
     
    Boxer17 likes this.
  6. Gilgamesh

    Gilgamesh Seize the day

    My English neither, but now see that it was actually clear. I have been interested in such kind of diets, but cant stand lactose that well. I guess then theres just not so much to eat like for breakfast. But Ill check those Schmidt videos. Thanks!
     
    Last edited: May 13, 2019
  7. Libertad

    Libertad Well-Known Member

    Here is a good short Video from Dr. Berry on how to start a Keto diet. Good luck.
     
    Gilgamesh likes this.
  8. Libertad

    Libertad Well-Known Member

    Day 16. I have a lot to do over the next three days, a lot of things I dont like, but our society obligates us to do. These are the days I wish I was living in the woods or on an island. Maybe the addict in me wanting to escape responsibility. Talked to a women in a Supermarket yesterday who let me cut in in the row in front of her because I had only a few items. It wasnt awkward for me and felt normal. I know that it is and should be normal, but while doing PMO almost every interaction with People felt awkward to me. Small steps.
     
  9. Libertad

    Libertad Well-Known Member

    My first post here on my Journal was on 23.10.2013, almost 6 years ago. I tried countless times to stop. I wrote about my deepest feelings, I went to therapy for many years in this time, I talked about my deepest fears and Feelings. I moved to another City, I changed my live completly, but I was not able to Change and leave PMO behind me. I admitt that I am weak to this drug of my choice. I accept that I seem unable to Change. I mean, I have to accept the fact, that I have been unable to Change. I have tried everything that I could think of and what was suggested to me. I feel like a failure, I feel that I should post something motivational for others, something positive, something who encourages others and myself. But the Facts are, that after almost six years, trying as hard as I can, I was not able to Change my live in terms of PMO.
    I found the following Video from Jesse Lee Perterson, titled: You can not Change your live, just let go and live.

    I will give his suggestions a trie.
    So here I am, almost 46 years old and still using PMO from time to time and I am ashamed of it.
    All the best for you all out there.
     
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  10. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Good to hear from you!

    Here's another video from a Peterson. Basically he's saying the same thing.

     
    A New Man likes this.
  11. Gilgamesh

    Gilgamesh Seize the day

    But didnt you strongly reduce your dependence on porn? And increase life quality? Imagine where you can be in another 6 years. I am sure you got further than you realize right now. Will check those videos!
     

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