My way to Liberty

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Libertad, Oct 22, 2013.

  1. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    "Part of it is you don't have the right understanding. That's a big part of it. Part of it is you are the same person. You have the same value keep trying to see what you can get away with. You can say it's the urge, it's the temptation, it's demons, it's the addiction. It's not me! I don't want to fap! No man, it's fucking you! If you're struggling on No-Fap, then you're the person who WOULD struggle on No-Fap. If you're struggling with extreme urges and relapsing it's because you ARE the person who would struggle with it, because you haven't changed; because you're the same fucking person!"

    That's a great video Lib. I typed out a bit of what he says, above. Gabe lays it out. It's all excuses. If we want to change then we change. Yes, there's a struggle, duh! But, if we keep failing then that's because our value system is exactly the same. Everyone should listen to the above.
    Boxer17 and A New Man like this.
  2. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    "It's not a one-time choice. If it was a one-time choice we would all be doing No-Fap. It's a daily choice of how you choose to live, who you choose to be. What you choose to focus on, you're perspective, you're attitude, you're energy, you're atmosphere..."

    Wow, more good stuff. :) Every day, as we rise, we must make choices that reflect a desire to live a good life. We don't have to wake up and just throw the coffee pot on and then get on the laptop, like I'm doing now. We are so lucky because we get to choose how we are going to live today. We alone control whether we will change our energy or change the atmosphere that is surrounding us at any given time. If a bum was bothering us at the bus stop we would probably walk away, it wouldn't be a good atmosphere. Well, if our brain is being that bum, why not move away from it, change the scenery? Wow, I find that powerful!
    Libertad, Caoimhín and Bobo like this.
  3. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Hey there Libertad good to hear from you!
  4. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Good thoughts
  5. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Gabe talks about "having a poor reward system." Right? I'm sad so I better PMO. I'm happy so I better PMO. I'm anxious so I need to watch fake people having fake sex. I'm depressed, so I better whack one off. Yeah, that is a definitely a shitty reward system.

    He says that his videos for some people are just entertainment. They watch them, but they don't follow the message. They stay stuck as "the weakest version of themselves." Self-help books are the same, which is what I mentioned in my own journal a few times. I used to love reading these books, but they did not change me in any way, shape, or form. One book didn't work, well onto the next one. If one therapist/counselor doesn't work...on to the next.

    If we were a 1000 piece puzzle how would we put ourselves together? One piece at a time. Over time, we would begin to take shape and our efforts would begin to show who we really are. But, we must pick up that first puzzle piece. With work anyone can put a puzzle together. With work, anyone can put their life back together too.
    Bobo, Libertad and Caoimhín like this.
  6. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Well said!
  7. Libertad

    Libertad Well-Known Member

    On my drive home I was Hearing the audiobook from No more Mr. Nice Guy and it was the part were he mentioned that nice guys have to learn, no matter the age they are, to be themselfes.. We are so in our heads and disconnected from ourselfs. I will give Meditation another go and start small with 20 minutes a day. One step at the time.
    Saville and Caoimhín like this.
  8. Bobo

    Bobo Well-Known Member

    Libertad, try just watching and listening to your breath--- that's it--- still very calming-- start 14 or 15 minutes. Try it---
    Libertad likes this.
  9. Caoimhín

    Caoimhín Winter's coming...

    I can't recommend meditation enough! And as @Bobo said, start with 10 - 15 minutes a day. The benefits come from the regularity and habit of it, not the duration. I found that one of the meditation apps on my phone has really made a difference because I am very unwilling to give up my streak of continuous days and I get a reminder every day about it.

    Meditation is not a magic cure but you will slowly find your mind becoming a bit more resilient and be able to more observe your reactions to things.

    Good luck and let me know how it works out!
    Saville and Libertad like this.

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