Thanks Squire, I hope that it is that and that I get more motivated and enthusiastic about life. Yeah, There is a constant doubt and inner attack with thoughts like: I should be healthier after so many days free. I have not made enougth progress in other areas of my life. I eat as healthy as I can and do sports and take supplements, but I still struggle with my energy. My energy should be higher by now. Could it be that it is to late for me? Am I doing it wrong? Others feel better after so many day and have a faster recovery than me. I´m too slow, too stupid, too bad. I know the counter looks good, but at times I feel like shit. In parts it may be, that the longer I stay away from PMO the clearer I can see the the real me and this fills me with selfdoubt and anxiety because I see massive room for improvement in a lot of areas in my life. I was never good with Change. Before, when this thoughts became to unbearable I had the option of forgetting them with diving into the Fantasy land of P. and beeing numb for days afterwards. Now I have to face them with no medication. I think that means for me the saying to trust the process. Even when the only thing you change in the beginning is to stop PMO, the process will lead to a surface of all the other problems in the other areas of your life and it will lead you to a point where this feelings are so unbearable that you either make some changes for the better or you relapse. Because I´m aware of this now, the temptation to medicate myself with PMO is and was not very strong over the last months. I do distract myself with watching series of movies, working on things which should not have priority right now and so on. I go as slow as I feel I need to, to not to relapse. If I feel overwhelmed, I go for walks, drink a coffee or eat something, clean a small part of a room, very small things. But I feel constantly the inner pressure and unsatisfaction about the slowness of my recovery. If I´m honest, I make progress in a lot of areas in my life, but it is very slow. And knowing this and comparing myself with others which seem to make it faster and better, frustrates me. Thats where I´m at at the moment with my inner voices.