This is disturbing to talk about in a way. I feel like I've wasted a lot of time, and it's probably driven by having more functioning problems than most of you. I am now 49 years old. I have only been in the most minor of relationships and those were in the beginning at about 18 years old. Starting at age 13, I was getting interested in magazines and then soon after, about 3 years later, a brother of a friend introduced me to videos. I was so hooked, it's really beyond belief. I didn't care enough about looking for a girl in a sustained way, although I felt very cheated by the whole thing, and never good looking enough to have the success I wanted. The bottom line to that is that I never got away from the porn, year after year. During my first relationship which was at age 18, I was already getting impotent with her after a couple months. Granted she was not exactly a hottie though not overweight at least. I had tremendous social insecurity dealing with people through my 20's and I was pretty potent during that time for porn anyway. At about age 30, there was some developing problem in staying erect when I wasn't touching myself. Since that time, it's gradually gotten worse. Now I don't have the initial erection asking me to go turn on the videos. Mostly I didn't spend hardly any time with internet porn over the years but perhaps around age 33 or so, I have to admit I was logging a fair amount of time just looking at a slew of pictures on the net while I was busy doing other computer work. Honestly, as an atheist, I have no significant shame to anything of a degree close to most of all of your stories and I don't have that kind of religious sounding direction that many of you sound like you have which could give guidance to me. Instead I am just very rational about many things. I have not had to work and I have done very light hours of some regular business for myself over maybe 17 of the last years. Other than that I was a college student for quite a while. I have thought that watching porn is just fantastic, most of that time. I don't get those bad feelings of loneliness after jacking it that many of you describe. Meanwhile, the other part of me wants the girls that I felt I deserved. Because obviously, porn is fairly inferior to the real thing most of the time. Anyway I've obviously not had the greatest, most productive type of mentality. So, what's been happening is that since age 18 or so when I ramped up even further PMO, I have been doing it an average of 5 times a day with maybe three weeks total of days off until I reached about 45 when I started taking a few days off here and there. But I estimate 50k total orgasms at least. This really sucks because basically I barely have potency that lasts more than a few seconds of me taking my hand off the joystick while watching. I am kind of pessimistic about where I stand with all this now. I had a growth delay problem that was noticed at around age 8 probably but then investigated at age 13. They thought I would reach normal size but I never did. Height, normal enough, but on the short side. Body size, very immature. I do not generally feel like the healthiest of people. I also evolved into just doing the PMO while lying down on my back, exerting no standing or sitting energy. I am not sure but I feel like I've developed circulation problems over the years. It's hard to just decide that I will give up something I like so much in porn videos, both the classics and everything that came after. Btw, I have never understood any of you talking about demeaning or forceful porn, etc. Sorry guys, objectified and maybe they are like sexual athlete hedonists only, but I don't really see all this as any kind of violation of these women. Usually I like porn with good setups. I guess I must be a simpleton given that I have continued to enjoy these type of aspects and didn't really graduate, so to speak, to any really sick stuff. What would that be? Oh, at the most what could that be? Shemale stuff? I dunno. Where you guys even find all this abusive stuff? I never found myself finding that. Anyway, at over 50,000 times, and often not feeling too healthy, though I'm active with sport a few times a week and my weight and everything is at normal values, well... I just don't expect much now. I feel like I killed it! I have been off for 3 days now.