My Story and Advice on Recovering (5 Months)

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by JohnDoe6, Sep 14, 2014.

  1. JohnDoe6

    JohnDoe6 http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic

    Hey, I'm a 20 year old medical student. Im a pretty normal guy, I like hanging out with friends, playing sports and have never had any traumatic event in my life causing me to have a problem. I have recovered from Porn Induced ED and just wanted to put my story and tips for recovery on here for people too see. I realised I had porn-induced ED about 5 months ago but my story begins way before then...

    My Story
    I first watched porn around the age of 13/14 and like everyone else I was immediately intrigued. I watched porn regularly from that day on, my usage increased when i found tube sites and how to hide what I was doing from my parents. I became sexually active from the age of 16 and have had sex pretty consistently with girlfriends since then until about a year and half ago whilst I was single. I always had a pretty low libido. Throughout my teenage years I decided to stop watching porn as I think I always new something wasn't quite right. However, I always went back to it (I now know this was due to hypofrontality). Anyways during my first year of university I went back with a few different girls and found I couldn't get an erection. For months I thought it was due to alcohol but I managed to rule that out, then i thought i had PA (even though i was pretty certain i wasn't nervous) until I stumbled across YBOP towards the end of my first year. This was a huge relief.

    After finding out about YBOP I began to make changes to my life, recovery has been really hard but now I tend to look at it in a good way as it can/will make you a better person. This is the summary of my recovery and then I will talk about tips and advice to everyone else struggling with this. I have split the next section into rebooting and rewiring.

    Reboot
    Stage 1: My first week was great, my dopamine levels must have been high off of realising I was going to recover and I spent a lot of this week breaking into the world of porn addiction with the help of Gary Wilson, Gabe Deem and others...
    Stage 2: Week 2, I flatlined really heavily, became depressed and incredibly anxious- this heavy flatline lasted for about 2 and a half months.
    Stage 3- About 3 months in- My erections came back slowly. I would have a few days of morning wood and SE and then I would go into a minor flatline for a week or so, this was pretty recurrent for a while.
    Stage 4- About 4 months in- The flatlines became less gradual. My erections progressed slowly and i began to get what i would describe as dopamine spikes every couple of weeks where I felt on top of the world ( the first time this happened I was driving and i could not stop smiling at everything around me- its a very peculiar sensation). During this process you can literally feel your brain rebalancing itself.

    Rewiring
    I rewired with a permanent partner which is what I would advice for everyone. In my opinion, one aspect of porn is the idea of new and different women being exciting, and the need too move on quickly from porn star to porn star into endless novelty. By having a permanent partner you fight that novelty urge. Also, even just from cuddling ect you are rewiring and realising oxytocin into your body which will give you a great feeling. I found that after the 5 months of no PMO I could get an erection fine apart from sometimes it was a bit delayed this has become progressively better and better. I can now have sex way more than I used too and it feels 100x better. I think for me rewiring was quicker as I've had a fair amount of sex through my life from a young age so I have the neural pathways already in place. This obviously isn't always the case for everyone but don't let this put you off.
    One massive part of the rewiring process was telling my girlfriend about my problem, i remember being incredibly anxious about it (which is inevitable) but actually for everyone worrying about this- don't! She was amazing about it and understood completely.


    My Tips and Advice
    Don't see this process as just getting your sexual health back, see it as a self improvement process. Before I quit I was heartless and I didn't really care much about other people. This never really mattered to me because I had porn in my life and had effectively self medicated with it for years.

    1. Exercise!- The most important thing is exercise (besides no PMO), I have always played a lot of sport and gymed regularly. For those who don't exercise, you should definitely start. I could write a whole article on how this will help. Look into High intensity interval training to boost testosterone, dopamine and reduce cortisol ect. Get into weight lifting and i would also advice to do at least one sport which is sociable for example football or basketball. A small article on training and increasing testosterone:
    http://www.muscleforlife.com/how-to-increase-testosterone/
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AvqZvnFr630

    2. Cold Showers- I won't go into detail but look into the ted talks on this as it is a very strong tool for recovery. I tend to just hop in a cold shower every morning when I get up and again when I get back from exercising later on or before bed. This is the TED talk on cold showers:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gb0h8ZKvJW4
    For more info visit: http://gettingstronger.org

    3. Intermittent fasting- This is something I have recently got into and again there is talks on it. The main thing for me that i got from intermittent fasting is the distraction from thinking about my problems and there is obviously lots of health benefits from it as well. I think in about 5-10 years time this will be prominent in medicine for preventing neural diseases. Another TED talk: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4UkZAwKoCP8

    4. Meditation- I was very cautious of this as i am not religious at all. For me, transendental meditation was great for dealing with anxiety and depression. Also, it is stupidly simple so anyone can learn. I also credit this practice for dealing with the small amount of insomnia I suffered from as it relaxed me, allowing me to go straight to sleep. If you don't want to pay the fee for TM then look into other meditation forms such as mindfulness meditation ect. The only reason i recommend TM is because it has convincing research backing it.

    5. Eat healthily- Sort your diet out. Eat as healthily as you can without stressing out about it.

    6. Read and Learn- During my reboot I really got into learning from ted talks and books about various aspects of self improvement. There is loads of information out there for people too access. I would advice replacing social media and porn viewing time with learning about the effects of porn and anything else which interests you. Another great way too do this is via the various radio shows which are popping up such as http://yourbrainonporn.com/your-brain-cybersex-jungle-radio-show by Gary Wilson. Or http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=21259.0

    7. Sleep well and take care of yourself- Your mind and body is going to go through a tough time so make sure you get at least 8 hours. I always found this helped during my flatline. In regards to taking care of yourself, I reduced how much I was drinking. Going out 3 times a week completely smashed wasn't really doing me any favours and was making me more depressed and anxious.

    8. Prepare for the recovery process- I did a bad job of this as I was always telling myself how long it should take me too recover. e.g i was like oh it will only take 8 weeks and so on. By about 3 months i stopped doing this and just let me body naturally recover when it was ready. The huge thing with porn addiction is the variance in time it takes for people to recover. Some take 3 months whilst other take up to a year or more. The point is you are going to recover so look forward to it!

    9. Avoid Porn and cues- I avoided all porn and sexual pictures, i even stopped watching Game of Thrones as some scenes contain sexual images. Don't watch TV which contains sex scenes. I even stopped looking at the music channel in the gym for a while as it will have an effect on you even if you don't realise it does. The other part of this is porn fantasy- at first I didn't think it was a bad idea but as I progressed, I learned to avoid it and eventually my brain stopped trying to fantasise. When my brain wanted to view porn, I just visualise a red X instead and then distract myself. This is now pretty much an autonomous response for me now.

    10. Get outside and socialise- Humans are social. There are physiological changes which happen when you spend time outside or with friends and family. Both also act as a great distraction. I spent way too much time beating myself up about my ED while recovering and in hindsight I didn't need too. I am a big animal person so I really enjoyed running with my dog at the park and taking him on extra walks.

    Ok so those are my 10 basic tips for recovering. I will probably think of more and add them at a later date. If you can do at least some of these then you will definitely see improvements in your mental and physical well being just like I did. There is strong research behind pretty much all of those 10 points, proving how good for they can be for an individual.

    More importantly than all, know that you are going to recover. This is just a problem in your life and when you do recover you will be a better person for it. I now look at the last 5 months as the most important of my life to date as the have defined a lot about my character and made me a much better, stronger and more rounded person.

    If anyone has any questions I'm happy to answer and feel free to PM me.

    Cheers,

    John Doe
     
  2. NewNotComer

    NewNotComer Never Stray From The Way

    Hello JohnDoe6 and thank you for sharing your story!

    I would like to ask you a couple of questions:
    When you began your reboot, how bad was your PIED?
    Did you ever doubt you would get better?

    Thanks in advance, and keep it up. :)
     
  3. JohnDoe6

    JohnDoe6 http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic

    I began my reboot about 5 months ago now. My PIED was pretty bad, I had one occasion we I got a very weak erection with a girl in the past year and a half (excluding my GF) but couldn't ejaculate at all that time. I realised about 7 months ago I couldn't really MO without porn or some sort of stimulant like photos ect. Its a shame that it takes a lot of guys to get to the stage I do to realise they have a problem seeing as I had progressive DE for years.
    In regards to getting better; during my whole first year of Uni I thought I would never be able to have sex again, I think at one point I even considered become celibate haha. Then I stumbled across YBOP and Gabe Deem's story and that really helped me in knowing I would recover and get better. Everyone who has given up PMO has recovered to this day and so the evidence is pretty strong at indicating that everybody will recover at some point. Some people just take longer than others I guess. Are you doubting whether you will recover?
     
  4. NewNotComer

    NewNotComer Never Stray From The Way

    Yeah, I don't doubt I've improved since the beginning, but I've seen no improvements lately. I am not going back to porn and I am not planning on masturbating either. I also got an appointment with a urologist. But fear lingers in my mind, what if I have damaged myself beyond repair?

    I figure that's what everybody goes through though. It's scary, man. :)
     
  5. JohnDoe6

    JohnDoe6 http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic

    Hey bro,
    I had the exact same thoughts. I always wondered if i was wasting time with the abstinence and if it was a problem below the belt. Its not! i realised it doesn't matter as I'm never watching porn again so ignore that.
    I just had a read of your journal to familiarise myself with your situation. I went through the same place you are in now. I spent months with like a few erections a month- this very slowly progressed. You also said that when you stand up your erections go away. This may be because you used to MO lying down? Therefore your brain can't understand having an erection stood up. I watched a good talk by a guy saying that guys who have this problem struggle when in a sexual position which isn't what they are used to masturbating too e.g missionary ect. I used to get that when having sex. Just ignore what is going on with your erections they will return fully as your brain starts to let go of that old wiring and returns to the way things should be (the innate wiring you have).

    How are you coping with urges?
     
  6. NewNotComer

    NewNotComer Never Stray From The Way

    Yeah, I would masturbate sitting down.

    By the way, while my signature says I've been 22 days clean, I've actually only PMO'd once in the past 100 days, but I've looked at porn a couple more times.

    The urges are gone now. Or at least for now. I have no libido either. I have managed to completely stop sneaking a peek at porn too. So, regarding urges, I'm doing very well. Never done better, actually. Also, I would be in no rush to get better, but there is this girl, and it seems like I'm going to have to explain this whole thing to her and this situations puts a lot of pressure on me mentally.

    Thank you for the support man. I promise when/if I get better, I'm going to stick around here for a while and help those who need it. :)
     
  7. JohnDoe6

    JohnDoe6 http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic

    Your situation is literally following mine. I put off showing my current girlfriend how I really felt for months due to the stress it put on me. I was sure she wouldn't want to be with me after I told her. In reality you will imagine the worst, but this is no where near what will really happen. She will understand. I remember wanting to get with my girlfriend a few times but resisted as i knew i couldn't perform, she didn't care in the end that i couldn't. Look at it this way, in 10 years time, porn addiction and the sexual dysfunctions which go with it will be seen as an epidemic and everyone will know it exists including this girl you like. Tell her now and she will respect your honesty. Explain the magnitude of what your going through. Also, you don't have to have sex to please a girl! Show her the Gary Wilson Ted talk and the Gabe Deem talks, these really helped my GF understand. Don't let this get you down :)

    Do you think you can bring yourself to tell her?
     
  8. NewNotComer

    NewNotComer Never Stray From The Way

    Yes, I am planning to tell her. The thought is terrifying, but honesty is one of the pillars of my personality, so I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't. Plus, it would be cruel to her. Also, I have no expectations about how this will go. I do know she might be alright with it. However, I don't feel like I can ask her to wait for me to get better. I don't want a relationship where I can't give her something she wants. And it would put pressure on me, even if she told me she could wait, because I have no idea when I will get better, and I have my doubts over whether I even will get better.

    Before her, I struggled with this whole thing but I was alright mentally.

    Now that she has entered the picture, abstaining is extremely easier, but I have had anxiety attacks and feel depressed.
     
  9. JohnDoe6

    JohnDoe6 http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic

    Good on you! I know the exact feeling that you will be rejected but you won't. I'm sure she will wait but if she doesn't then don't get caught up on it. You need to remove the doubts that it may not be PIED. Did you do the test of masturbating with porn and then without it?

    With regards to the anxiety and depression; this is temporary, know that. I was incredibly depressed and felt as if I would never get out of it. Now looking back it doesn't seem like it was that longer time. Do the tips i advice on my journal, these will help alleviate your symptoms :)
     
  10. NewNotComer

    NewNotComer Never Stray From The Way

    I did do the test. At the beginning of June I was able to masturbate to porn every single time I tried whereas I couldn't even get a slight erection to sensation. That just about convinced me it is PIED. I am hoping my urologist appointment clears that up even further.

    Man, this is exactly how I feel. Thank you for talking to me about your experience. It really helps. Plus, yes, I do most of that stuff you posted already. I am planning to start meditating. And in my current situation I have no motivation to socialize at all but I know that I must fix that.
     
  11. JohnDoe6

    JohnDoe6 http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic

    Then be confident in yourself that it is just PIED. Good stuff. Socialising is important, the best way to start is really to integrate it with sport. Then as your confidence builds you can start socialising with everyone else. From talking to you today, i'm 100% certain you will be fine, just keep following the rebooting rules and keep on going. Just think that at the end of this you will be a better guy. You will have overcome a major epidemic of today and be able to help others also recover. Just wait for that first spike in your dopamine levels that i mentioned in my journal and you will realise the depression and anxiety is not permanent.
     
  12. NewNotComer

    NewNotComer Never Stray From The Way

    Alright then! :) I was thinking about starting Tai Chi anyway, and I think it would be good, considering it is a bit like meditation too. Man, you have been a great help. I wish you the best.
     
  13. JohnDoe6

    JohnDoe6 http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic

    Yeah i did tai chi when i was a bit younger and could see how it would help :) No worries, if you have any other problems/questions then just message me. Keep pushing through and congrats on the progress you have made so far!
     
  14. livsnjutare_nofap

    livsnjutare_nofap New Member

    Im twenty too. Man this is killing me. flatline has hit me so hard that I never knew something could. Can you please tell me if you had better erection "quality"? It feels like i lost size and really really dont want that. And how long did you have smaller penis during flatline flaccid? Take care
     
  15. JohnDoe6

    JohnDoe6 http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic

    Ok i can give you the good news. Your penis will shrink during the flatlines and everyones does, its pretty disturbing but very temporary. After about 2 months of flatline this gradually became better and when my morning wood and spontaneous erections came back i recovered very quickly. My erections are now better than they have ever been and this seems to be the general consensus between all the guys who have recovered. How long have you been recovering for ect? And how long have you been in flatline for? As i say in my journal, the anxiety and depression are temporary! You will get better its just a waiting game!


    Keep positive!
     
  16. livsnjutare_nofap

    livsnjutare_nofap New Member

    My morning woods has started to appear and they are hard but smaller in size. What the fuck is this? I remember getting swollen a couple of times this spring after pmo sessions. Is it possible its my fault? omg :) flaccid isnt that big of a deal, the size when erect is what worries me. peace
     
  17. JohnDoe6

    JohnDoe6 http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic

    See where you are in a fee months before panicking! If your erections are smaller than previously then they will return to the normal size when you recover! Keep going and push through, try to ignore your erections and rating them at the minute !
     
  18. grzeg12

    grzeg12 New Member

    Hi John Doe.
    Did you have orgasms during your 5 months reboot?
     
  19. JohnDoe6

    JohnDoe6 http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic

    No i never for about 4 and a half months and then when me and my girlfriend got together I began reintroducing orgasms. But i only orgasm with sex and not masturbation. I haven't really got an urge to masturbate anymore after what it caused to happen to me!
     
  20. No.turning.back

    No.turning.back New Member

    Question:

    My reboot status: I'm 27 and currently in my 5th week of rebooting (early, I know). Been watching porn since 14/15 and have never been able to get it up to fantasy alone. in the bedroom my results were mixed at best. Since rebooting, Urges to watch porn are not really there, and horniness/libido was VERY present and strong until this week, when it's a bit less. I have yet to experience morning wood since starting the reboot (except maybe once) and no wet dreams...but I've never had a wet dream (ever).

    My question/dilemma: There is a girl I'm interested in, met her through friends. If it leads to anything I'm unsure how to approach intimacy while rewiring, Should I be honest and show her Yourbrainonporn.com? I get that most women would like men that do not watch porn....that's obvious. But revealing something so sensitive in nature is daunting. Also, as mentioned, we have mutual friends. Any opinions or advice would be appreciated. I've seen tips saying to tell her you want to take it slow, or you're undergoing treatment that has side effects....but assuming this might be a relationship and not a fling, I'm not sure making something up is ideal.
     

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