Hi I am back to the forum after .. a while. I first encountered the concept that P/M/O might be an addiction and causing problems to me about 5 years ago. I feverishly started working on this and followed instructions that i gleaned from various threads in all sincerity. I had a 3 month streak, 1 month streak, multiple weekly streaks. I have literally employed all suggestions including long walks, martial arts, meditation, breathing exercise, working, journaling. Then somewhere along the way i lost it all. I binged. and binged. and well.... i guess one reason was that there were no tangible downsides to this. except for the fact i was watching more and more porn, jerking off frequently. I did not have any girlfriends at that times so i could never how bad my sensitivity was affected. I had no erectile dysfunctions and was doing decently well at my job and other things. So no real reason then to quit. Actually no real reason to quit now either. Except i want to take up a personal challenge and change the way I live. In the past 5 years since i "quit quitting" pmo, i have been through a lot in life. I finished business school, had two relationships with one serious landed a job at a good company made some good friends. While I have been through a lot in life, when I read the posts I had posted 5 years back, when i started this , i can still relate to every word of it and feel i would still not be typing any thing else. I have never journal-led before and do not have any method of knowing what i was like in the past except reminisce with photos and memories. But this journal , the only piece that gives me a glimpse of what i was 5 years ago. And being able to relate to every word i typed out then, I dunno if this means well, since my mental condition regarding this does not seem to have altered. I am still kinda addicted, without serious repercussions. (I have noticed though my de-sensitized arousal levels when I was in relationships). But now i am trying to bounce back from the break up i had from the serious relation ship. It was a serious , but unhealthy and ultimately toxic relationship. As i look to bounce back, I want to undertake a growth activity that a me looking at me 6 months down the line would be proud of. I want to get back into the dating/marriage scene only if I am satisfied that I am not addicted to my senses. I am a man who am able to take charge of my choices and not a slave to pleasures. I am also hoping that some of the mental wiring that i have so deeply engraved in the last 15 years of my life will loosed up .thereby opening new pathways for enjoyment. This is a quest for me to re-build my self personally and professionally and become an ideal man, and one of the key stone habit is for me to have a habit of not PMO ing. And thus I would not only be cribbing about the difficulty of no PMOing i would also freely journal about the other thoughts and habits that i am thinking and trying to incorporate, more like a public private diary, hoping it can help me, and also give some food for thought to someone who is actually reading this. I am setting up for myself a 90 day challenge starting today.