My New Journal

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by pornaddict4646, Aug 5, 2012.

  1. pornaddict4646

    pornaddict4646 New Member

    Day 22 -- The Toughest

    Today was by far the toughest day I've had out of all of them for some reason. I've been focused on wanting P in some form or another all day long.

    It's like I've got barely perceptible vibrations just below my skin surface pushing me somewhere I really, really don't want to go. I fight if off for a few minutes, goes away, and then comes back.

    It's not that I really want porn itself. On the way to work, I passed close to a massage parlor, and thought about stopping in during lunch. I had something to focus on at work, but it was at the back of my mind the whole time. Hey, I'll go swim some laps at lunch!!! Got to pool, and there were several women there already swimming laps, and did they look good. My reptilian brain revved. Probably damaged my neck looking sideways underwater at them for 45 minutes.

    Got back to the office. Hey, maybe I'll just go to a strip club and have a couple of beers! It's real girls, right? No PMO'ing there, just seeing naked girls. Thought about it off and on all afternoon. Got in my car, knew I had to redirect, and went to Best Buy to look at Stereo equipment.

    Now, I'm alone again in front of the computer, the reptilian brain is still in high gear, the barely persceptible subcutaneous fluttering is still there.

    I'm not going to give in, I'm going to read a book.

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