I am in my mid-50s and have really had a lucky life so far although not problem free. In my mid-20s I had a serious nervous breakdown when several events all come together to cause it. One of the causes was porn addiction but the real causes were low self-esteem and fear of being alone. I was very lucky as i had counselling from one of the best psychologists in the country and i guess accepted myself alot and understood myself alot better although i did not change myself much. Then I travelled, married, had children, had a good job and my own house in a major world city. I guess I looked at porn addiction and fear of being alone as being just a kind of chronic illness (like a bad back) that you managed then the rest of your life say 80% or more is ok. I realized that focusing on abstinance did not work and you need to focus on the 80% of life that is good and accept that most people have problems in their lives of one sort or other. It was never bad enough problem to cause me financial problems etc. My wife had an early menopause in her 40s and really lost interest in sex and did not want to take any drugs so that was bad for our sex life. But as John Bishop the english comedian said marriage is like a dishwasher - "great when you first get it but after awhile it is easier to do them by hand". Also I didn't want my wife to have sex out of a sense of duty and i didn't want to be begging for sex. But I have now discovered that i cannot really get an erection for normal intercourse now because of porn addiction so I need to do something about it. The internet has made porn more accessible but also free. My wife and i don't talk much about sex but she knows what is happening so it is a bit like gays in the miltary "don't ask and don't tell". So i need to dial back of the porn and masturbation and figure out how to have some sort of sex life with my wife. I figure i need to dial it back a bit first maybe over the next couple of months and then have a chat about what we can do. I'm going to read through the forums and any advice and support folks can give me would be appreciated.