My Struggle with Porn Addiction I've been struggling with an addiction to PMO ever since I was around 7 years old. I remember that was the age at which I first watched an on-screen sex scene. The scene was probably in a rated R movie that I saw and it only lasted about 1.5-2 minutes, but the images stuck. Later, whenever my parents weren't home, I used to watch the blotched erotica channels that were on cable TV at the time. Around the age of 12- 13 I started going onto internet porn sites every weekend. At that time I knew that what I was doing was wrong, but everyone my age was watching porn. Those were the days of the famous teen movies like, American Pie and Van Wilder (the 2002 version), which propagated the notion that PMO was a normal part of teenage life. At the time, everyone my age was watching porn. It was only until I reached college that I realized that I had intimacy problems. I wasn't able to get fully erect whenever I was with a girl, and I really couldn't figure out the reason why. I was definitely attracted to these women, and at that time I wasn't nervous about having sex with a girl. The only time I was aroused by the girl that I was with was whenever I fantasized about having sex with her, but whenever she was around I couldn't get an erection. After a few failed attempts at having sex, I started to avoid intimate situations with women. Whenever I did get into those situations, I would get nervous and the erectile dysfunction would kick in. I would tell the girl to blame it on the alcohol or the late hour of the night, but I knew it was because of me. At the time I never understood why I was able to get a strong erection while watching porn or fantasizing about a girl, but not get one while in the presence of an actual girl. I thought it was because of anxiety, and searched the internet for pills and techniques to get rid of it. I also avoided going out with friends, fearing that they would find out about my problems with women. So I stayed cooped up in my room either studying, playing video games, or watching porn. Plus I lived in a very big and stressful city, and I didn't have a lot of free time because of school and work. As I became more isolated, I resorted more to porn. I used to binge a couple of times per week. Apart from feeling tired and drowsy all the time, I didn't think that porn was a problem. This was until the internet in my room got cut off right before I was about to begin a porn session. I remember getting so pissed and restless that day. My stomach started to turn and I became short of breath. I finally found some old porn stashed on my computer, and the feeling subsided. After I finished and came to my senses, I was surprised by how strong of a hold porn had over me. It didn't just affect me mentally, but physically as well. That was when I equated my dependence on porn to an alcoholic's addiction to liquor. It was only by chance that I found out the link between porn and erectile dysfunction. My father showed me an article he was reading on his laptop that was totally unrelated to porn addiction. When he left the room, and I started to read the article. On the side of the page was a link to another article that was about pornography and erectile dysfunction. From then on the rest is history. I did some research, found yourbrainonporn.com, and I've been trying to overcome this addiction for a year now.