Have decided that getting laid is not in my priorities anymore. I've signed up for Mark Queppet's Reforged man course, and have been going through that. I got a streak of 14 days no PMO, until this past Saturday night. Saturdays have always been the hardest night, but this one... I went on a date, had no expectations, had a beer... I Think the beer just clouded my judgement, and I thought, eh, I could use some pleasure. But I think this was happening far before. The seeds were planted when I was on my walks imagining myself in a band, but not really in one in real life. Wishing for a life different from the one that is currently present. And so fantazising a lot, equated eventually to probably fantasizing about porn. It's hard to accept where I'm at. It's not where I want to be. But somehow I think it's the only way past this. On the positive side, I did go 14 days no masturbating, longer than I've ever gone before. Realizing I was quite jerk during the time of my last post, not wanting to go monogamous with that other girl. Because now, monogamous is exactly what I want. But hopefully with someone who doesn't have kids.