Went to a meetup this evening. Felt kinda like a mixed bag. First, I was happy, and anticipating genuinely sharing my skill with others- as that was the theme. So I did. And it went ok, but I felt off. Like even as I was doing it, my playing wasn't so great, and I felt like others had these "cool" things to share. Mine felt- too serious. My first therapist in college I ever saw told me during our first session that I seemed like a very serious person. Maybe socially that's my default mode. Anyway, what struck me, was yes although I did get a laugh or two through out the evening, there were 1 or 2 other guys that just seemed to have the eyes of the ladies. They just had this laid backness about them, and especially in their skill sharing, like very attuned to a fun way of being. I could tell that one girl was obviously into one guy, immensely- and I'll admit he was a likable guy. Foreign, on the tall side, had a bit of an accent, of course girls like that stuff. But it made me wonder, how can I be more fun? Could it just have been my choice of activity went a little too deep? I'm a deep person and not really oriented towards "bubble gum" fun activities. Plus lugging my instrument back and forth the whole evening wasn't all that fun either, even though I've done that many many times. Partially could've been I'm interested in getting to know a particular girl in that group a little more. That's the one thing about group situations is it's a little difficult to make your intentions known in a socially acceptable way. I mean you can't just start talking to her one on one exclusively without including others in the group. If I were doing online dating, that would be much more direct, and with much more direct attention- as in making it clear *this* is why I'm here. But in group settings, it's just not socially acceptable to do so, or you just need to navigate a little more, and pick your moments. So far, I may have had a moment, but it's not like I'm head over heels for this girl. But, I would gladly like to hang out with her and get to know her more.