My Journey

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by StarWarsFan, Jan 4, 2022.

  1. badger

    badger Well-Known Member

    welcome my brother. if you have a problem with porn, you are in the right place.
     
  2. StarWarsFan

    StarWarsFan Member

    Thank you @badger.

    First day no PMO. Surprisingly, yesterday did not trigger a binge.

    Ready to go hard mode for at least 30 days.
     
    realness likes this.
  3. realness

    realness Well-Known Member

    Good stuff SWF. I think you've lined up some really great tools like lifting more and working on your golf swing. Those are good stepping stones to firm up healthy outlets and firm commitments in your days. They help reduce idol time, get endorphins flowing, and build momentum to another step like abstaining from MO for 30 days like you said. You have other things to do and will find more I'm sure. You're recovery train is picking up speed man.
     
  4. StarWarsFan

    StarWarsFan Member

    Thanks, appreciate it. I will hopefully be going to a doctor for general check-up soon. I'm going to talk to him about what's happening (it's a male health clinic) just to get his take and have him check hormones and stuff.

    I do think I was using PMO as a coping mechanism for stress and anxiety related to having my own business and the way training had been going/not going. So, I'm definitely looking forward to seeing how all this will help. It seems to be so far.

    Another day without PMO. Early days so far but feeling good about it.
     
    Rudolf Geyse and realness like this.
  5. CleanBootsBaby!

    CleanBootsBaby! Well-Known Member

    If you check stuff, also check the free T. Either through a sensitive assay ($$$), o calculated (for that you will need albumin as well).

    However, from experience...the recovery process can throw you on a wild ride, things come and go, but in the end, everything becomes calm and works well.
     
  6. CleanBootsBaby!

    CleanBootsBaby! Well-Known Member

    This this this.
     
    StarWarsFan likes this.
  7. StarWarsFan

    StarWarsFan Member

    Although I plan on talking to him about it, I'm not necessarily going to be asking about meds. I noticed my erections started getting stronger just before this "relapse" experiment thing. One night I woke with one that was almost uncomfortable in how strong it was. My initial plan is to go at least 30 days no PMO, then assess whether to continue no PM and only O with wife.

    No PMO today even with some mild temptations (a little stress/anxiety related to work and taxes). Took a couple of walks to get my head straight and that helped a ton.
     
    Saville and Old Tom Bombadil like this.
  8. StarWarsFan

    StarWarsFan Member

    No PMO today. Got my car back from the shop (was involved in a very minor accident last week). Love my car and really disliked the rental.
     
  9. StarWarsFan

    StarWarsFan Member

    Another day no PMO. Had some cravings to MO but was able to dismiss/get through them.

    Got my doctor appt made but not until the 14 next month. It was weird though, I guess their online system didn't work so I just gave them a call after not getting one from making the online request. The lady said he's not seeing any new patients seeking primary care services. He's only seeing folks seeking HRT (test), so I told her I was also going to be talking to him about getting hormones tested along with regular blood panel and my ED so she said that was no problem in getting the appointment. For anyone knowledgeable, is this normal?
     
  10. badger

    badger Well-Known Member

    unless you're an out of control diabetic, have heart and or circulation problems, ED is not caused by low testosterone. we lose testosterone at 1% per year after age 40. most older men still have normal T levels. only about 10% have low levels. obesity, especially around mid section decreases levels. i"m 67 years old and have normal levels. yet still have PIED. it is all in my brain. fix my brain-get off porn, and i will be able to perform. you're still a youngster. i would not worry about my labs or T levels if you are in normal health. workout-lift heavy weights/run sprints. this goes a long way. along with enough sleep-this is where your T levels rise, and an adequate diet-fats, protein. hang in there my brother.
     
  11. StarWarsFan

    StarWarsFan Member

    Thanks for the insight @badger but the fact is that I'm 48 yrs old and haven't even been to doctor in over a decade. I've never really had a primary care physician in my life. Although I think I'm in pretty good health, I know my cholesterol is borderline high and I have a family history of genetic diabetes. So, I just want to get something going and to see where everything is. I think you can understand that. Also, I agree that my PIED is very likely P related and not a physical issue, having that information will put that to rest.

    Another day of no PMO. I feel like I'm entering into a bit of flatline as I've had no desire/libido since late yesterday.
     
  12. badger

    badger Well-Known Member

    SWF,
    i do understand. i apologize, i did not mean any negative or sarcasm in any way. i was just saying this is what i would do based on my experience/training and education. i wish you the best and hope all your tests come back normal. again i am sorry. just an old man and his ramblings.
     
    StarWarsFan likes this.
  13. StarWarsFan

    StarWarsFan Member

    No worries, friend, please forgive me if I came across too harshly. As I've mentioned, the biggest reason for getting to the doc is validation that I'm relatively healthy and to get a PCP for regular check-ups as I get older. I know I need to lose a few pounds and I need to cut back my drinking, but both of those things should not be causing the ED especially as I can get it up to M with or without P.

    No PMO and today should be straight forward as I just have a solid training session to look forward to and then a buddy coming over for the Bellator fights tonight.
     
  14. StarWarsFan

    StarWarsFan Member

    No PMO today. One week down.

    Had some temptations this morning when my wife left to go hiking. Prior to starting this, her leaving for a few hours was awesome as I could PMO without hiding in the bathroom, usually several times. I ended up taking a short walk then going out for a drive. My mind was full of sexy thoughts about the wife but being in the car I was not able to act out on them. I feel like now my biggest enemy is just touching myself which sometimes I will go so far as to get hard. Sort of like that quote from Armageddon "Just wanted to feel the power between my legs, brother". I'm not doing it for actual pleasure or to O. Shouldn't be doing it at all.
     
    Rudolf Geyse likes this.
  15. StarWarsFan

    StarWarsFan Member

    This is a little earlier for me than normal but had an interesting morning, in a good way. Woke up around 3:30 am and could not fall back asleep so went out to living room couch so I could read (not electronic, real book) for a bit without waking the wife (she had a 6am phone call). After reading for a bit, I fell back asleep until she came out around 5:45 or so, and I was somewhat erect. Didn't last long as I went back to bed, but then woke up about 7:30 with a 10/10 woody. Didn't go down either until I decided to get up and get in the shower about 10-15 min later. Even then, it took a few minutes while I got clothes and turned on the water before it did. Has to be the longest one I've had since going no-PMO. Gave me hope that the brain/body is recovering. I was also able to resist the temptation/urge to MO in the shower after that, so that's good.

    Meanwhile, I continue to notice other behavioral improvements like not sounding annoyed when I get phone calls now. This is good as my business depends on getting clients who want to work with me on matters (don't want to go into too much about what I do to remain a bit anonymous).

    Edit to add: another day no PMO
     
    Last edited: Jan 31, 2022
    realness likes this.
  16. realness

    realness Well-Known Member

    Great update SFW. Likewise when my wife would be out of the house it was often an opportunity to PMO. We're changing gears and it was great to read that you went for a walk. "self care" is a really trendy phrase these days but I think it's a good thing in these matters.
     
  17. StarWarsFan

    StarWarsFan Member

    No PMO yesterday.

    Had overnight and morning wood again with this morning's being pretty strong.
     
    Last edited: Feb 2, 2022
  18. StarWarsFan

    StarWarsFan Member

    No PMO today.

    Have been waking up with strong morning wood, and that's been making me horny and wanting to M possibly to O. This morning I found myself unconsciously M'ing in the shower and had to make myself stop. Then this afternoon a few times found myself wanting to PMO. I've been able to manage the urges/temptations but pretty sure it's related to feeling a bit overwhelmed with work right now. Hoping I can get things more under control.

    Also, been working to cut back my drinking mainly to improve sleep. Still a work in progress. Hung out with friends last night and had fun playing some cribbage. Cheers all, we got this!!
     
    Saville likes this.
  19. forlorn

    forlorn Well-Known Member

    You've mentioned your work quite a few times now - sounds like this is definitely a trigger for you. I don't know your specific circumstances, but all I can suggest is prioritize what matters most (e.g, looking after your clients) and don't avoid the uncomfortable/difficult tasks.

    I've noticed that drinking impacts my sleep too. Can usually get away with one or two a night but if I overdo it, I keep needing to get up in the night for bathroom breaks. And while booze may help us drop off initially, overall it affects the quality of sleep we get.
     
  20. StarWarsFan

    StarWarsFan Member

    Yes, it definitely is and prioritizing matters is what I've been working on doing. I've come to the conclusion I don't mind giving some context as I don't think anyone can figure out who I am based on this little bit. I'm a Patent and Trademark Attorney who runs my own solo law practice. While I generally enjoy the work sometimes the sheer amount of work and responsibility can get to be a bit much so my anxiety and stress get ratcheted up. I also have issues with saying no when I really should to potential clients and that usually causes problems down the road.

    Definitely. I've definitely used both PMO and booze to cope with stress and anxiety over the last several years as my practice has grown, so I really need to get a handle on it. I'm mainly cutting back to get some sleep quality back and drop a little weight.
     
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2022

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