My Journey To Success

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by ace1234, Aug 2, 2012.

  1. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    I think there is something to this. I feel much better if I just MO and not watch P. When I watch P it's never enough, but MO in 5 min and it's over with. I even get morning wood if I just keep up with an MO.
     
  2. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Day1

    Hard time coming back here. I am really depressed at the moment. I think I have a case of permanent tinnitus now. It just won't go away. I am having a very hard time dealing with it.

    Watched P for about 3-5 min, but closed tabs and ended it so resetting counters. I M'd without porn just to get it out of the system. Been M'ing about every day now, which is too much IMO.
     
  3. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Day 2

    Getting morning erections which are good. They are a bit weak, but I consider it minor progress. Today I'm really pushing for an M and P free day.
     
  4. Catharsis

    Catharsis Member

    You can do this.
     
  5. hopeforchange

    hopeforchange Member

    What I did this last streak is MO when necessary. The first 2 weeks it was alot. Then when I got past this initial though 2 weeks I could go for 1-several weeks without needing it. Then I had some moments where MO was the only thing that saved me from not relapsing. So I don't MO every day like it's routine. Just when the urge get's so difficult that I'm in front of my pc, about to type in the name of the website I say this to myself " first MO, if you still want it afterwards then go ahead, but first cum through MO!" I do, feel better. Like it's not worth PMO'ing anymore anyways. One time the urge even came back after 20 min but I just did the same thing and then It was definitely not worth it anymore.

    I haven't had the need to MO for a few weeks now but even if I would MO everyday for over a year or 2 without porn I'm sure I would make major progres. Because with porn I can edge for hours. With MO it's just 5 min which is so much more natural and much more healthy for your dick and mind. I think that's obvious. The friends I know who watch porn, just use it for cumming the once. Not searching the web for better and better videos edging. They just use it as a tool to cum more easily and better and then go on with their day. That's not how I have used it at all, I keep going untill I'm completely drained. Maybe that's what makes me an addict.

    We all have to find our own way but I think a general advice that is true for anybody is: have an image of the man you want to be and then get to work to be that man. Porn will fuck up your progress to become that man because it's such a waste of time and it drains your energy for working to achieve those goals. Just like any other addiction.

    I don't want to sound like I got it all figured out because I definitely don't but I thought you might think the same way and giving you my view on the matter could be useful in some way.

    Good luck!
     
  6. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Rest everything because I felt like I needed to. So I'm reading Cupid's Poison Arrow by Marnia Robinson. Very, very intriguing and I can't really believe that I've missed this book after being on Gary's website. I'm really rethinking relationships right now and have a new sense of optimism in that area because of that book. I also feel more motivated to actually quit porn. I know I say this so much coming back here saying that I'm done, but I mean like for good, like the way we've always meant it, but just don't do it.

    So I have to go through these 2 week withdrawals. I've tried to do this a few times, but I am just so damn bored and empty all the time. I hate these withdrawals, but I have to go through them for a better life. Damn it.... bit price to pay, but need to do it or I will never be fully satisfied with my life.
     
  7. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Going to do my best to get through the day stimulation free.
     
  8. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Honestly, I screwed up again, but it's ok. I will get back on the horse, whatever that means. Pretty hungry right now, but I am physically fasting. It feels good actually. Going to really do my best to focus on doing what I love and occupying myself with music. I think that is a positive focus.

    I can willpower my way through the reboot. I don't think you can just sit by idly hoping to make it through the day. I feel good enough coming here to make a post, even though I peaked and edged today. I feel so hopeless at times, but looking ahead into the future I can see my success, even though there is pressure attached to it.

    I mostly just see opportunity to do good which keeps my depression at bay.
     
  9. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    7 days no O

    After reading Marnia's book I am abstaining from orgasm now. Staying away from P is just as hard and I've been edging nearly every day this week. I know I can do this. I'm like the dog that wants to jump out of that kennel, but has stopped trying to jump over that fence. I've been trained that if I try I will get hurt, and fail, so I've stopped even though that jump is perfectly reachable.

    I am like that donkey tied to a plastic chair.

    I can do this. I want to do this.

    Again, when I was younger (about 10) I would look at fat people and always think that it was just so easy to become fit and healthy. All you do is get up and exercise, eat healthy.

    Easy. And it is that easy. Always has been that easy. It's just that people don't ignore all that shit that's in their head. They listen to it, get confused, when they should just focus on what gets them results.

    What gets me results in nofap??

    Stop jacking off. Stop looking at porn. Stop touching your dick. Walk away when tempted, or triggered by your PC.

    No need for anxiety. No need for fear.

    Simple.

    Remember the fat people. You're fat too... just in a different way.

    I would always despise (harsh word) fat people for this, but I can sympathize with them. Now that I have something I need to change, and can, and have a better life, I need to just do.
     
  10. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    I just read my last 140 day reboot. Good times. I know what I did wrong.

    Time to break some records.
     
  11. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    This is Day 2 No P

    Very, very depressed. I feel like I don't want to continue living. I'm in debt, very few finances. No job, don't want one, even though I need one and it will help me. Motivation very low. Procrastinating on everything.

    Need to change this and be more positive with my outlook for the future.
     
  12. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Day 3

    Had a girl I knew come visit. She's so so on the attractive scale, not the hottest girl for sure, but I like her. I tried having sex with her, could not get it up. I just ended up talking to her about porn and random stuff. She was really cool, but that's just kind of her personality I guess.

    I don't know why I keep torturing myself.
     
  13. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Day4

    Feeling very meh, but satisfied that I'm already on #4. Day was melancholy for me. Have hard time getting to sleep so stay up late. Usually waking up early cures that.
     
  14. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Day 5

    Always resisting my own potential.
     
  15. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Day 6

    Outside is a raging storm. Lots of rain. Looks really cool. Inside, inside me, feels pretty dead.

    Focusing on just not watching porn and letting myself recover. Whatever comes I will get through it.
     
  16. hopeforchange

    hopeforchange Member

    I never had a girl act bad towards me because of ED, I think there are a lot of girl out there who won't so that's good news for all of us! Never admitted to one of them it's because of porn though

    Btw To me it seems you have to take a goal, work towards it on your own pace. The fact that you feel you getting better will give you motivation to work even harder and make you feel a lot better. That's why they say it's the journey that counts. It's because it gives you a great feeling when you are getting closer to your goal. You can learn something that can be helpful in a feature job, (books and stuff enough on the internet to download) or learn a trade, find a hobby you want to get better at, or start exercising ( running more and more, or lifting weights...etc).

    Point being getting rid of porn can't be a goal in it's own.
    You need to fix your life first and then you can get rid of your porn addiction. Otherwise you will have no motivation to do so.

    Well that's how I think about it anyway... to each their own

    Good luck!
     
    ace1234 likes this.
  17. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Hey thanks for the reply and taking the time to stop by my journal. This community is great because people just come in and out to give advice and support.

    I would agree with you, but would just say that fixing your life would include removing porn from your life. In effect, removing porn can improve your life.

    I'm not sure what day I'm on at the moment because this new forum doesn't show all the counters at once anymore. Day 15 no orgasm to porn & no orgasm without. Two weeks have gone by since my last orgasm so that part of my brain should be rebalanced. Now I'm focusing on the porn part & going to make sure I keep my sensitivity protected.
     
  18. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Day 10 no P M or O Day 17 no O

    Hey there journal and anyone reading. This is a big accomplishment so far. Usually I cave, but I don't want to cave anymore. Sometimes on Nofap I will see posts from 18 and 20 year olds quitting porn. I often think of myself at that age (now 27) and wish I had done the same. These guys have overcome something I wish I had at that age. Yeah, maybe some will relapse, but I know a lot won't. It's much easier at that age anyway, but I'm only making excuses for myself. I really regret not having taken it more seriously at that age, along with a plethora of other things.

    I'm really happy that I came here to journal and just think about the reboot. The journal is definitely a useful tool, if you know how to use it to further your reboot. For me, I really enjoy listening to music and thinking about my future and why I want to do this, why I need to do this, why I will do it.

    I often tell myself, if only I stopped masturbating and watching porn, if only I had never masturbated or watched porn, I know my life would have been completely different, and nobody can tell me otherwise. I don't care if people say it's a placebo, because I know for a fact it isn't. I used it to medicate, but most importantly I used it to relieve sexual tension and I never had a real girlfriend. I was always running away from actually choosing a girl and just being with her. Porn would suck out all my drive and energy when I was a teenager and I can't ever get that time back. There were many, many, many girls that liked me, but I was too shy and too placated from masturbating and watching porn.

    However, I do have the rest of my life to enjoy and I do not want to ruin that with porn as well.

    Anyway, enough with that, as I think I'm rambling now. Basically, the thought of having eliminated this from my life at that age and knowing what my life could have been like motivates me.

    Alright. GG's. Till tomorrow.
     
    1234dyl likes this.

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