My Journey To Success

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by ace1234, Aug 2, 2012.

  1. hopeforchange

    hopeforchange Member

    I never had a girl act bad towards me because of ED, I think there are a lot of girl out there who won't so that's good news for all of us! Never admitted to one of them it's because of porn though

    Btw To me it seems you have to take a goal, work towards it on your own pace. The fact that you feel you getting better will give you motivation to work even harder and make you feel a lot better. That's why they say it's the journey that counts. It's because it gives you a great feeling when you are getting closer to your goal. You can learn something that can be helpful in a feature job, (books and stuff enough on the internet to download) or learn a trade, find a hobby you want to get better at, or start exercising ( running more and more, or lifting weights...etc).

    Point being getting rid of porn can't be a goal in it's own.
    You need to fix your life first and then you can get rid of your porn addiction. Otherwise you will have no motivation to do so.

    Well that's how I think about it anyway... to each their own

    Good luck!
     
    ace1234 likes this.
  2. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Hey thanks for the reply and taking the time to stop by my journal. This community is great because people just come in and out to give advice and support.

    I would agree with you, but would just say that fixing your life would include removing porn from your life. In effect, removing porn can improve your life.

    I'm not sure what day I'm on at the moment because this new forum doesn't show all the counters at once anymore. Day 15 no orgasm to porn & no orgasm without. Two weeks have gone by since my last orgasm so that part of my brain should be rebalanced. Now I'm focusing on the porn part & going to make sure I keep my sensitivity protected.
     
  3. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Day 10 no P M or O Day 17 no O

    Hey there journal and anyone reading. This is a big accomplishment so far. Usually I cave, but I don't want to cave anymore. Sometimes on Nofap I will see posts from 18 and 20 year olds quitting porn. I often think of myself at that age (now 27) and wish I had done the same. These guys have overcome something I wish I had at that age. Yeah, maybe some will relapse, but I know a lot won't. It's much easier at that age anyway, but I'm only making excuses for myself. I really regret not having taken it more seriously at that age, along with a plethora of other things.

    I'm really happy that I came here to journal and just think about the reboot. The journal is definitely a useful tool, if you know how to use it to further your reboot. For me, I really enjoy listening to music and thinking about my future and why I want to do this, why I need to do this, why I will do it.

    I often tell myself, if only I stopped masturbating and watching porn, if only I had never masturbated or watched porn, I know my life would have been completely different, and nobody can tell me otherwise. I don't care if people say it's a placebo, because I know for a fact it isn't. I used it to medicate, but most importantly I used it to relieve sexual tension and I never had a real girlfriend. I was always running away from actually choosing a girl and just being with her. Porn would suck out all my drive and energy when I was a teenager and I can't ever get that time back. There were many, many, many girls that liked me, but I was too shy and too placated from masturbating and watching porn.

    However, I do have the rest of my life to enjoy and I do not want to ruin that with porn as well.

    Anyway, enough with that, as I think I'm rambling now. Basically, the thought of having eliminated this from my life at that age and knowing what my life could have been like motivates me.

    Alright. GG's. Till tomorrow.
     
    1234dyl likes this.
  4. 1234dyl

    1234dyl Active Member

    Congrats on 10 days!
    I can relate to a lot of what you're saying. I'm only 22 but I regret not handling this issue for about 2 years. Well for 2 years I've been conscious of the physical , mental and spiritual effects of PMO but I've continued to sporadically engage. This has always left me feeling like I'm not free or I'm being held back in life. It's definitely not placebo, it's about being a man and owning your own destiny.

    No point in regretting your past, just try and control your present because it will soon be your past as well
     
    ace1234 likes this.
  5. 1234dyl

    1234dyl Active Member

    Also... Whilst we are to blame for the situation we are in, it is also not our fault that we found porn at like age 12 and the whole world tells you masturbating is healthy. I just put the two together and carried on blindly like that daily! When I look back at my teenage years I was a complete zombie.

    What I'm trying to control now is smart phone use too because that is zombifying me
     
    ace1234 likes this.
  6. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Yeah I would agree with you. It's not really your fault that you got sucked into this thing, but it is your fault for staying in it and not getting out.

    Also, you being 22, you can reclaim 5 fucking years man. 5 fucking years I wish I had, if I just did it, if I said fuck it, and did it. Whatever pain comes, don't masturbate or watch porn. Die if you have to, but don't do it ever again. I think it's the only key to accomplishing anything.

    Don't be me, sitting here at 27 wishing I had buckled down and just did it. Time flies and you won't believe that you're already nearing your 30's. Don't regret this, like me, please. I could have done it, but I didn't. I allowed negativity to creep in and then I would sabotage myself over and over again. Why?

    Day 12 no P M or O

    Yeah, not sure what to say again. I came here mostly to check days. People say days aren't important, but that is just a load of BS to make you look like tough shit, as if this was easy. Days show progress, days show that things are moving forward, even if you feel like they are not. You're reaching your goal, even if you think nothing will ever change or come out of this. You made a decision to go for a certain amount of days, whether it's 2 weeks, 90 days, or 365, you're moving forward toward that goal and the days are going by. So days do matter.

    Yeah it sucks when you reset and relapse and have to reset a counter, but that is the price you have to pay for a relapse. People need to take responsibility, instead of being so devastated by the reset of their counter that they advocate not having a counter.

    Sure, at some point the counter can become irrelevant, but the beginning is the most crucial and hardest part of the reboot. It's getting out of that cycle that is the hardest. It's breaking a pattern that is so ingrained, it's literally alike to eating, sleeping, or taking a piss. You don't think about it.
     
  7. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Failed again

    Still without orgasm for however many days. From my last post that makes 27 days no orgasm. I peaked, but I guess my no orgasm streak is still going. What really frustrates me is that when I do cave into peaking I don't want to come in here and admit that I did. So I avoid it indefinitely. It feels good to take responsibility because as soon as I do, I know I can start again, instead of continuing a cycle of binging.
     
  8. 1234dyl

    1234dyl Active Member

    Stop peaking bro! Lots of research suggests that peaking is just as bad if not worse than actually relapsing because of the chemicals and hormones released in the brain. Our brains need a break from artificial sexual stimuli. And for me personally, when I peak it is a sign that a relapse is coming. So buckle down and get on with it man. I'll repeat what you said to me, you don't want to regret this in 5 years.. we're both still young dude let's own it now
     
  9. Lifeisbeautiful

    Lifeisbeautiful Active Member

    Hey ace.. Just checking in. Glad to see that you are very passionate about recovery and not giving up. It's a huge thing. Yes it feels bad whenever a relapse happens but if you get yourself back on track quickly it would have only a minimal effect on your overall progress. Wish you luck.
     
  10. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Thanks for the tough love.
     
  11. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Yeah, I don't want to give up.

    Still without orgasm for however long. It's about 40days now.
     
  12. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    Day 1

    Coming back because I want to journal. I just need some space and time to concentrate and focus on removing porn from my life, no matter how hard. I feel like giving up, honestly, but I can do this even though I think I can't. Today I just want to focus on my music a little bit.
     
  13. Robane

    Robane Member

    Hey Ace! Glad to see you here bro! I haven’t been on here for a while now as well. I’ve also not yet reached the ultimate porn-free life, but I must admit it has gotten easier to reduce the usage. My no PMO reboots last from 21-45 days usually. In this last reboot I have decided to allow for periodic MO without P. I’ve noticed that my libido peaks around 21-30 days into a hard mode reboot. Until I get in the position to have a woman with whom I can express myself sexually with, I will continue to MO without P when my libido peaks.

    My goal is to eliminate porn long enough until I can drastically change my financial situation. This past year has been tough for me financially. Unfortunately I’m still living with my parents. Last year I decided to get recertified in another profession in order to get higher paying job so I could move out and provide for myself. I accomplished the goal of recertification, and I was even hired by a company that initially promised to give me the position I recertified for, if I was willing to accept a lower paying position for the time being. Well, I ended up getting shafted, and after several months working there,they gave the position to someone else.

    This week was my last week at that job. Now I’m shifting my focus back to studying full time, and I’ll be finishing my degree (obtaining my license) in August this year. Although I was not able to work in the job that I wanted, i learned a lot of valuable social skills. I was forced to somewhat come out of the introverted shell I had been in for many years prior. The job also occupied my time, so I was able to spend less time on distractions like porn. I was also able to pay for a gym membership (which has helped me grow physically and confidence-wise), and for other very important expenses.

    So if you’re still having issues with porn I would suggest finding something productive to occupy your time. Get gym membership, get a second job as a waiter or bartender, work at Walmart, join a Meetup group. Just occupy your time bro! Of course getting s girlfriend will help out a lot as well!
     
  14. Robane

    Robane Member

    Also check out this video about Mental toughness.

     
    ace1234 likes this.
  15. Robane

    Robane Member

    Another good video to check out

     
  16. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    thanks for that I really needed it

    Ok, Im back in the US and have turned my life around a bit.

    I really want to remove porn from my life. Today I watched some videos, but it zaps me of energy, so I really would like to challenge myself again.

    I wont keep a very updated journal, but I would like to return here more often.

    Day 0
     
  17. ace1234

    ace1234 A woman simply is, but a man must become.

    day 12

    same old story
     
  18. Chammorrow

    Chammorrow Member

    Hello Ace, I hope that everything has been going well with you. Though this forum has died, I still want to check upon the few nofappers that I've grown to like and respect. So I just wanted to check up on you, I know that you've been struggling with a few things. But just remember that you have to keep getting back up. I've made a major move in my life, and decided to move to completely different city (will be moving in a couple weeks) and I think new beginnings help with breaking old habits. Is it possible for you to do this?

    Also, you told me once that you learn something through my journal..that even if you PMO, you can still have an awesome life. That is true brother! Pmo is a bad addiction of mine, and there has been consequences for it in my past, but I still managed to mitigate those issues and have a pretty fun and vivacious life..filled with friends and family that love me. This is what makes life worth living. I believe that you can have this too, despite the addiction.

    So yes, definitely work on beating the addiction, this is important. But second, live your best life. And I know that many variables can affect how this plays out, where you live, how much money you have, the kind of friendships you have around, your social skills, etc...
    but yeah man, keep us updated on your progress, let me know if there' anything I can do to help.
     

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