I have to share a story with you, guys. There is a nice girl working at near department at my lab. She is a microbiologist and we have been strudying at the same faculty for 5 years. Actually, we even were at the same class. At the start of this month, I started to think about her. She was nice and smart and we chatted regularly at the work when we can. Nothing specail, just two colleagues working together and having a good relationships. I liked her. Of course, there were bunch of fantasies and so on. I am syill virgin and have never ever dated anyone. A few days ago, I started to think that I should tell her and go on a date with her, if she agreed. The problem is that I lacked courage to tell her. Then the problems begins. She have been taking driving lessons for a while and her instructor called her on a date. I have heard about her drivin lessons earlier and accidentally have heard about her being called on a date. That stroked me. Something dark and angry woked up. I understood that I should to decide and make a move. I have decided to tell her and call on a date. Then it starts again. Fear, lack of courage, fucking excuses. I could text her and go on with life but then I start to postpone. "You should take advice from friend", "You should tell her face-to-face, not by fucking smartphone". And then I have heard a conversation between her and other collegue. They were talking about that instructor. He is going to take her from work on a date, at least that what I understood. I felt shocked. Smashed in a face. Miserable. Somehow the only thing that forced me to think to decide and act, not only fantasize and hope, was the possible rivalry from the other male. Aggression, desire, will to succeed-it all was mixed at one pot. And I don`t know what tp think and do. Maybe, I was overthinking and should ask her no matter what? Maybe, I was only objectyfing her as an a prise for a winner of a competition and did not treated her as a person? I don`t know. I fear to even text her right now. I have failed. Maybe, I am not mature enough for relatioships? Or I am only a coward. I ruin my own happiness and future. I might be rejected just because I procrastinated a simple conversation. Yes or no, nothing more. What can I provide for her in comparison with her instructor? She even have bigger salary than me, and I bet that guy also. He is an instructor, he will spent more time with her then me. I will lose such a competition. I am a miserable loser. Maybe, I am still overthinking? Maybe, there is just a date, nothing else? Maybe, the only thing I should to is to tell her and let her decide? But what if she connects everything she said in my presence to my requst? I don`t know. Why in the hell this is so goddamn complicated?