Hello everyone. It is just one more diary/journal of a guy who fights with PM addiction. I am 20 years old, still virgin. I have started watching P at 2015, M-2014? and after 2 years on an addiction noticed a problem with an erection. I have had typical PM addicted story, but nowadays I am going to change it. In my case the biggest problems are sexual fantasy based in P because I had never had a girlfriend. I am using P blocking services and maintain 2 weeks streak without P but M`ing couple times. Any morning wood is associated with fantasy, M and after feeling like a wimp, P. Interestingly, i do not feel any pleasure from M, P do not arouse me ( I am avoiding pervert porn), it feels like just a habit. I have quited smoking earlier this year because of possible damage to my health and due to absence any pleasure from smoking. Getting rid of PM A LOT harder. Sometimes it feels like a didn`t control my body and mind. I hate it and going to stop. Also, psychological problems related to PM addiction negatively affected my life in all aspects, including studying, relationship with friends and working out. I have been working out since 2017 and inability to maintain a long streaks of training altered all progress made earlier into dust. I understand that all i need it is just discipline to avoid bad habit and cultivate good but it is easier to say than do. I had used a diary in my smartphone before but i really fear that someone discover my addiction so i am going to use this site like joutnal. I am going to post here my thoughts because possibility of reading it by someone gives me an obligation to stay strong, fight with problem and encourage others. I had tried to walk this road alone before regisration but miserably failed. My goals: 1. Pursuit academic excellence to create some meaning and order in my life. 2. Keep working out in field of calisthenics and bodyweight crossfit in order to become stronger both physically and mentally. 3. Continue learn English and German because becoming fluent in both languages is my dream and will give a lot of benefits. 4. Create a romantic relationship with a girl. I am not going to waste my life anymore. I set up a date. I am going to succeed regardless of possible hardships and failures, regardless of mood swings and childish emotional outbreaks, regardless of negative thoughts, feeling like a wimp, bad situations in life and flatlines. I am going to stay disciplined, wake up earlier, training harder, studying more and keep pursuit my goals. I am going to get after it and live my life.