My Journal: The Neuro-Chemical Auto Pilot

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Gabriel1960, Mar 4, 2016.

  1. Gabriel1960

    Gabriel1960 Self-Actualization Rocks!!!

    Alcohol - Twenty years
    Credit cards - nine years
    Social media - five years
    Gambling - one year
    Sugar - One year
    Rage - three months
    Porn - two days
    YouTube - two weeks
    Reddit.com - zero days
    PMO - one year
     
    Billy B. likes this.
  2. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    I'm working through my ADD too, great job!
     
  3. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    Great to see you doing well, Gabe! You are an inspiration and I thank you for sticking around and sharing with us these later stages of you journey.
     
  4. Gabriel1960

    Gabriel1960 Self-Actualization Rocks!!!

    Alcohol - Twenty years
    Credit cards - nine years
    Social media - five years
    Gambling - one year
    Sugar - One year
    Rage - three months
    Porn - two days
    YouTube - two weeks
    Reddit.com - zero days
    PMO - over one year

    I've been working my ass off on releasing this porn thing, and I'm getting pretty close.

    This week I've come to terms with the reality that I've got an emotional attachment (call it an "addiction" if you will) to self disgust. I've come to learn to enjoy and even find comfort in the self disgust provided by porn. That's a surprise, and not a place where I want to be today. It's good to know this.

    Secondly, I've listed many, many reasons to step away from porn, but the only one I can find that is sufficiently compelling for me to end porn use, is the emotional distress I always experience during and after using it. That, for me, is a compelling reason to quit. I might be stressed, or distressed, before choosing to use porn, but I'm *definitely* emotionally distressed during and after using it.

    The porn-induced emotional distress is real, tangible, and even measureable. It's worth it for me to give up the emotional distress that porn always gives rise to.

    Love to all.
     
  5. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    Good insights, mate. I hope they can help you to kick it for good, finally. It's a process and we learn as we go. You'll get there.

    Peace.
     
  6. Gabriel1960

    Gabriel1960 Self-Actualization Rocks!!!

    I think so, too, mate. I'm a 'Murican, but my last drink, twenty years ago, was at a Heathrow hotel bar!

    My focus is (what in AA they call) "emotional sobriety."

    Porn for me is an emotional relapse, only 100% of the time. PMO, or no PMO.

    Today my focus is emotional sobriety, which necessarily means living porn free.
     
    Billy B. likes this.
  7. Gabriel1960

    Gabriel1960 Self-Actualization Rocks!!!

    Alcohol - Twenty years
    Credit cards - nine years
    Social media - five years
    Gambling - one year
    Sugar - One year
    Rage - three months
    Porn - a week, since April 30th
    YouTube - a day
    Reddit.com - zero days
    PMO - over one year

    I'm kind of free-falling with YouTube and Reddit, but I'm so pleased with being released from porn, that I'm not worrying about it.
     
    Billy B. likes this.
  8. Gabriel1960

    Gabriel1960 Self-Actualization Rocks!!!

    Alcohol - Twenty years
    Credit cards - nine years
    Social media - five years
    Gambling - one year
    Sugar - One year
    Rage - three months
    Porn - two weeks
    YouTube - zero days
    Reddit.com - zero days
    PMO - over one year

    My next frontier is abstaining from intense emotions and, separately, solo internet use (except for work or health related blogs, like this one). That includes news media sites. Woo-hoo! I'll return to them someday down the road, but for now, it's abstinence from strong emotions, and internet media abstinence, time.

    This will *definitely* make my life fuller and more joyful, and less isolated!! Hooray!
     
    Last edited: May 14, 2017
    Billy B. likes this.
  9. Gabriel1960

    Gabriel1960 Self-Actualization Rocks!!!

    Had a good day. Need to find peace in boredom.
     
  10. 40New30

    40New30 Keep going

    I'm going on a total media fast very soon...great minds.
     
  11. Gabriel1960

    Gabriel1960 Self-Actualization Rocks!!!

    Porn - over three weeks
    YouTube - week and a half
    Reddit.com - week and a half
    PMO - over one year

    Finding myself reading a lot more. That's awesome.
     
    Musicman 2.0 likes this.
  12. Gabriel1960

    Gabriel1960 Self-Actualization Rocks!!!

    Porn - over a month.

    Remaining off of the media sites. Find myself better at taking care of personal and financial tasks, as a result.
     
  13. ananoman

    ananoman Active Member

    Wow- I'm impressed with fortitude to tackle so many "vices". I've been thinking about giving up sugar but can't imagine how I'd survive
     
  14. Gabriel1960

    Gabriel1960 Self-Actualization Rocks!!!

    I've used porn in the past to help smooth out my emotions. Now that I'm not using porn, I have to deal with these strong emotional outbursts. That's my new frontier.
    My last emotional outburst was on 6/7/17. I'd like to get some abstinence together in that area.
     
  15. Gabriel1960

    Gabriel1960 Self-Actualization Rocks!!!

    Seems the counter app is having some problems.....
    I now have 21 days off PMO.
    I visited my 92 year old excuse for a father (Jerry) about 21 days ago, and he was his usual upsetting, annoying self. I got so upset, that I turned to sugar, and then PMO, to calm down. It did calm me down. Now I have 21 days off sugar and PMO.
    It's been suggested that I exclude Jerry from my life. I'm heading in that direction.
    I need to make my mental and emotional health my supreme goal. Need to let them (Jerry and another relative) know that I need to remove myself from the situation to maintain my own sanity......for health reasons.
     
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2017
  16. Musicman 2.0

    Musicman 2.0 This is not a sprint, but rather a marathon...

    Hey G, I hear you bro. I'm having to set some healthy financial boundaries with my father now. He's always putting himself in bad financial positions and then needing those close to him to bail him out... Great choice to remove yourself from the situation. Mental and emotional health is my supreme goal as well. I can feel it when I let that area of my life slip. Like you, I turn to my bad habits to self soothe and to instantly feel better. Glad you are heading in the right direction...

    Much love bro,

    One day at a time...
     
  17. Gabriel1960

    Gabriel1960 Self-Actualization Rocks!!!

    Thanks M. Glad you're still in the game. Me, too.
     
  18. fcjl8

    fcjl8 The only path for me

    Hi Gabriel1960, nice to meet you sir. I have been in this battle for years myself. I am here fro you brother.

    All the best.
     
  19. Gabriel1960

    Gabriel1960 Self-Actualization Rocks!!!

    Still in the game. The PMO tracker needs work. Forty-four days today.
     
  20. Boxer17

    Boxer17 Active Member

    Hello sir. I am happy to meet you as well. I'm relatively new here. I see you've been here for a while. It is good to know another soldier
     

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