My Journal on day 189, flatline since day 1

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by RecoveryingHao, May 13, 2019.

  1. RecoveryingHao

    RecoveryingHao New Member

    33 y/o male, learnt to fap to porn since 17, happily married for 9 years, 3rd child was born last year, healthy diet and exercise regularly, had never ever thought I would end up where I am right now.

    It's been an involuntary journey because, during a long "no availability" period of wife's pregnancy, I started fapping to tube sites regularly, once every 2 days for like 1 year. Then after 2 real sex sessions last November, I woke up one morning feeling extremely tired and lost my libido.

    I thought it was the side effect from the anti-histamine I was prescribed to cure my eczema and it was not, I visited my GP and done some blood test and everything came back fine. I had been told by my GP that sex is like eating ice-cream, my body is not having an appetite for "ice-cream" now.

    Some quick research, then google led me to nofap and /nofap reddit page and I started this journey involuntarily, monk mode, cause I have 0 interest to porn, to sex, to release, to new stuff at all.

    Here are few noticeable benefits/symptoms for the past 6 months.

    Month 1-2:
    Tiredness, laziness, drowsiness, brain fog, lack of focus.
    Little guy felt like dead, no libido, no MW, no wet dream, no erections at all.

    Month 3-4:
    Feeling energised, no brain fog, huge improvement on focus.
    Little guy has occasional movement in the early morning, weak and infrequent.
    Hugging & kissing the Mrs can give me a boner, but it wouldn't last.

    Month 5 to day 175:
    Started to wake up very early in the morning, go to bed 10pm, keep waking up 4-5am.
    Sometimes I could fall back to sleep again till 6:30am, sometimes, I couldn't, I just lying there. MW is no existence, no libido and never had a wet dream for my entire life.

    Day 180-190:
    Insomnia has been improved, waking up 6am -7am now.
    Energy is up and downs.

    I'm telling myself that I am so over with PMO for the rest of my life, however, I fear that I could never gain my libido back ever again.

    Can anybody please share some information/experience if this is normal? unlike most people here abstine to flatline. I woke up in flatline and I believe there are huge differences and guaranteed long recovery. Is this sex exhaustion? fatigue? waking up suddenly for no reason during a streak?not having a release for almost 6 months?

    For anyone that is young and still fapping in front of your computer screen, even just occasionally, STOP it right now, before it suddenly disappears without warning.Tthere are guys like me, desperately having sleepless night, praying to god/buddha to spare us libido one more time this lifetime.

    (PS:Sorry for any grammar errors, English is not my 1st language)
    Last edited: May 13, 2019

Share This Page