My camgirl addiction is still strong and I'm still going broke from it.

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by germanshepherd07, Oct 5, 2013.

  1. germanshepherd07

    germanshepherd07 New Member

    It's amazing how much I want to break from it but I keep getting pulled in. I'm living paycheck to paycheck but only because of my addiction.
     
  2. al1234

    al1234 Guest

    Have you considered going to SA? If what you're doing isn't working maybe it's worth trying a different approach.
     
  3. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Question: what do you do after a relapse? Do you take any precautions whatsoever to prevent it from happening again?

    There's a difference between "would like to break free from it" and "really want to break free from it". The latter implies not only suffering and sacrifice but also a life without the object of your addiction. Without it's "benefits", such as using it as an escape or a replacement for real relationships.
     
  4. TheFuture

    TheFuture Allow me to reintroduce myself

    I found just carrying on and not paying any special attention to a relapse as the best way forward, just don't stop until you get where your going is my advice.
     
  5. germanshepherd07

    germanshepherd07 New Member

    No lie but after last night, I decided that my fetish was too risque and gross and I needed to end it. Then I got all excited since I plan to put the money towards a new dog bed that is orthopedic for my Shepherd. I average around 300 dollars per month on this addiction. Yes, you read that right.
     
  6. dig deep

    dig deep must stop wasting my life on porn

    uninstall your webcam data

    smash and throw away your webcam and if your webcam is built in to your laptop get a screwdriver and break the lens so you cant use it

    thats what i did
     
  7. al1234

    al1234 Guest

    GermanShepherd, would you say that your life has become unmanageable? Or that you've lost the ability to control yourself in this area?
     
  8. germanshepherd07

    germanshepherd07 New Member

    I do not have a webcam myself so I wouldn't have to this lol but thanks for the advice


    Only in this area. I think having OCD(professionally diagnosed) is keeping me back as it impairs my decision-making and the fear of parting with it.
     
  9. al1234

    al1234 Guest

    do you see a therapist for OCD, does s/he know about the cam stuff?
     
  10. al1234

    al1234 Guest

    I guess what I'm trying to get at is that you are clearly addicted. You've made many attempts to stop and you can't despite the large sums of money that you're losing. A while ago you thought you were over it but it came back.

    I'm not trying to be mean, I'm trying to point out in black and white that you have an illness called addiction. You have to learn how to live with this addiction because it never goes away. It's really important. It's like learning to live with diabetes or a handicap. There are things that other people can do and be fine with, that you cannot because you're ill and it affects you more. You have to learn how to cope with this condition.

    Now often people now come along and say that after x days you can get over it, that it's not a permanent thing, certainly not akin to an illness. These people are either in complete denial or they aren't addicted and haven't a clue what it's like to be addicted. Don't listen to those people, just do what you need to do.

    The other though i was struck with about therapy is that the $300 a month you currently spend anyway could be better spent on improving your life long-term. Just a thought.
     
  11. germanshepherd07

    germanshepherd07 New Member

    I ended the professional relationship I had with my therapist in February because he thought me taking small chances wasn't enough. I bought this porn addiction up but he never delved into it further(not surprising) a while back. He just wanted to get out there find a girlfriend and get over social anxiety. I didn't want a girlfriend at the time and I still don't want one because I know deep down it's my perversion talking and taking advantage of her.

    Yes, I'm not ashamed to acknowledge myself I am addicted and my perversion is out of hand. At least I don't act it out in real life, I'm just afraid it will get to that point shall I ever find someone I get along with and I just keep getting broke. I could be like rich now with the all the savings lol but nope.
     
  12. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Despite the hole in your wallet, your addiction isn't any different from most here.

    There is a reason to why you're so attached to cam stuff over everything else. My guess is that it is the only way you feel truly sexual. It gives you such a rush that it compensates for your frustrated sexuality. It is hipersexual for you, it tops all the rest. I know because I too have a similar relationship with some other kind of porn.

    Now one mistake many guys commit is thinking that you can be the same person you are now minus your PMO addiction. This is impossible. It simply doesn't work out that way.

    You have to change your lifestyle to one in which this hipersexuality is no longer needed. It's not an overnight change: it takes time and effort. It implies leaving your comfort zone and making all the changes you're reluctant to make.

    When is it that those cam urges hit you? When you are alone late at night? Then go to bed earlier or go out if it's saturday night. Is it during the evening? Go for a walk with your dog.

    You see where I'm getting at? You can't rely solely on willpower and motivation to win this. You need to make profound changes on your routine and work at the core of your addiction, the reason why cam stuff is so appealing to you. Then you'll make real progress.
     
  13. germanshepherd07

    germanshepherd07 New Member

    Most of the time when I get home from work and my mom leaves for work. And on a note, I haven't masturbated since Thursday but that wasn't a decision I made, just due to the fact I don't like doing it on the weekends since everyone is at home.

    I also notice that if I do go on a porn/cam binge every morning, I wake up past 4 in the afternoon. If not, I get up much earlier and more energized. Weird how that works.
     
  14. Max

    Max Guest

    Germanshepherd I applaud you for posting your concerns. Admitting to yourself that you perceive a problem is a key first step toward recovery. Others can say you have a problem, but it doesn't really sink-in until you begin to see the problem yourself.

    Once you recognize a problem, then you can get down to working on addressing it.

    I, too, have been in recovery from live-cam sites and it was freeing for me to talk to a therapist about it. That's what worked for me as the first step in a long journey toward recovery.

    It's a complicated subject and there are many resources available, but I'm going to post a link to a video that may help you understand what's going on in the brain and addresses reasons why it's so hard to quit.

    http://www.viddler.com/v/2ec638b5

    All the best to you.
     
  15. CidGuerreiro

    CidGuerreiro Well-Known Member

    Then there you have it. Your brain recognizes those hours you're home alone as your "party time". You have to do change your routine so it won't be feasible for you to PMO at those times. And that's really just the beginning.
     
  16. germanshepherd07

    germanshepherd07 New Member

    How bad was yours? I think the rush we get from live sites compared to a porn tube is that we are in control and it's short of reality except you're interacting on the computer.


    Yeah, I have started where I try my best to avoid getting into a PMO binge and focus on bed. Sometimes it works and sometimes I fall into the trap.
     
  17. aristotle

    aristotle Member

    I used to be somewhat addicted to a cam site.
    First change your password for the camsite(s) to something your won't remember.
    Second delete the email that the account is linked to so you can't log back in.
    Third delete your account on the camsite(s).
    Fourth, delete/get rid of the password you created for the site earlier.
    Fifth, if you can cancel your credit card that you used with the camsite(s), or if you can before the first step, remove your credit card info from the site.

    This is what I had to do to stop myself from paying for cam shows. The website I was using made it very difficult to actually delete my account. I could delete my account, but as soon as I logged back in it would reestablish my account, so deleting it didn't really do anything. I had to change my password and then delete the email account I had linked to the webcam site so I couldn't reset a new password. Then I couldn't remove my credit card info from the site, and the way the site is you don't buy credits, you just go private with a camgirl or buy a gold show and it automatically charges your credit card for however long you are in private or for however much the gold show is. So now I have to wait until my card expires for it to not work on that website.
     

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