Day 4 Background I am 22 and I have problems controlling my masturbation and porn use. Over the years I have attempted to quit numerous times with varying degrees of success. This addiction has damaged my relationships, including my current one, and hurt those I love. I have a specific problem with seeing attractive but non-pornographic material on social media. This often starts what can sometimes be hours of wasted time. I have used too many excuses to rationalise my actions, even when they are clearly hurtful. I am rebooting my brain for myself and for my partner whom I deeply love. I have hurt them unfairly and betrayed their trust, and I need to get better. A few days ago I nearly had a panic attack when it dawned on me just how messed up what I've been doing has been. Whenever I go a few weeks without porn-accompanied numbing masturbation I feel more interested in the world and I find it easier to be kind. I'm fairly sure my addiction is related to deeper self-image issues, but this is a very clear, very accountable way to start making myself feel better. My triggers: social media, boredom, loneliness, being drunk, feeling anxious. Helpful things: deleted / disabled most of social media, avoiding anxiety inducing climate-related content, not getting drunk, being physically active, being away from screens, being with other people. Working to get counselling help. Today I am currently on holiday from work for a few weeks (I am a graduate student in science). Yesterday I had a party and I decided to drink less than usual, in part because when drunk I often relapse. It went well and I feel nice today. I want to work out a bit this afternoon and speak to a friend which I look forward to. Currently not feeling strong urges, in part because I still feel awful from when I told my partner the truth about my use a few days ago. May the journey begin.