Musicman Journal 2.0

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Musicman 2.0, Nov 13, 2016.

  1. Musicman 2.0

    Musicman 2.0 This is not a sprint, but rather a marathon...

    Very positive day. Feels very strange but good having two women that I'm talking to after such a long drought. My mind continues to come up with excuses to push the one away who has real potential but I'm letting those thoughts pass through and continuing as planned. We have a date scheduled for the end of the week. Going to just have fun and see where it goes... Fear has kept me in a very predictable place for a long time... Time for a little spontaneity... 8)

    Another day without PMO in my life...

    Much love to all...

    One day at a time...
  2. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    Mate, tears of joy come a-wellin’ when I read that!

    Great stuff, great stuff.

    A couple different periods of conscious abstinence greatly helped me to understand, and manage better, my issues in regards to sex/romance.

    Still, there’s nothing like steppin’ into the thick of it: that’ll learn ya, and no mistake!

    Good for you, mate! 8)

    Especially as it ups yr anxiety levels.

    Gotta love ya: I’ve never had anxiety real bad but friends have, and I’ve had enough of a taste to know it sucks balls. Given the choice, I’d probably rather be depressed, I reckon. :eek:

    Gawd bless Meditation and Mindfulness, while we’re at it. :)

    I’m totally looking fwd to the upcoming instalments, especially in regards to yr dating adventures.

    Great bunch of quotes, by the way. Gold, ta.

    - Billy B.

    PS Oh! Would you be so kind… I’m curious to know a lil’ more about rejection-training. If you’ve journaled about it previous, you could point me to there, if that works…. Cheers!
  3. Musicman 2.0

    Musicman 2.0 This is not a sprint, but rather a marathon...

    Hey Billy B, thanks man. Anxiety has really done a number on me during my life but it is indeed encouraging to see some victories in the midst of so many failures. This is a post from my previous journal basically explaining the rejection training... Thanks for asking about it, I'm going to start doing it again! (you can click on the "Quote from: Tony74 on June 05, 2016, 06:31:50 PM" link if you want to check out my old journal)

  4. NCBob

    NCBob The 11th commandment: Thou shalt not peek:-)

    The rejection training, however you go about doing it, is a fabulous idea, Musicman :)

    I've gone through so many experiences of having to face my fears of rejection over the years, and it has paid dividends to the nth degree. I'm not quite sure if I'm completely fearless now, although I'm probably almost there, for which I'm very thankful :)

    What I've learned is that fear of rejection/abandonment is a man-made commodity, purely of ego and fear, and has nothing to do with our authentic selves, or of God, Goddess, the Universal One, or whatever you want to call it. It is simply an illusion we've created to keep us out of tune and in touch with what is real.

    Keep up the great work, bro :)
  5. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    Thanks for that, MM, much appreciated. The YouTube vids look like fun and I will have a look at your journal to see if I can get some ideas of how to practice... I can't actually imagine, at this stage. Good onya, too, for takin' back your power: wonderful. I look fwd to read if you start up some rejection-adventures, again. :)
  6. Musicman 2.0

    Musicman 2.0 This is not a sprint, but rather a marathon...

    Thanks Billy.

    Morning YBR brothers, like I discussed previously a common challenge I run into is over stimulus. When things start going well (or bad) I have a tendency to get way too excited (or fearful) setting me up for the crash and burn. I'm working on this week really focusing on the fundamentals and regulating my emotions. Boring is good for me lol. What I mean by boring is the stuff I discussed in my last journal...basically just doing the small non-exciting things every day that supports a healthy life and foundation. The small things like keeping the house and car clean, keeping my grooming at a high level, dressing nicely, reading at least 10 pages of a good personal development book daily, getting my sleep, meditating daily, basically just taking good care of myself (self love). I have a tendency to stop doing these things when I start obsessing (either in a good or bad way...) and I start spending a lot of time obsessing about what if scenarios...(good or bad). Its ok to feel euphoria or anxiety but I need a place to land when they pass... when I stop doing the fundamentals, I have no place to land and I crash and burn...Thats why forcing myself to daily do certain fundamental activities, regardless of how I feel, has been the most beneficial thing I have ever done to overcome my challenges with PMO and anxiety... They keep me grounded...

    Right now I am having a great week and I'm feeling that pull to start getting too excited about some of the good things happening in my life... I can feel myself getting all hyper inside. I start wanting to do way too much when I get these feelings of euphoria. My focus is to enjoy these emotions AND continue to plug away with the fundamentals. I've spent too much time in the past working on the house above ground everyone sees, and not enough time working on my foundation that's behind the curtain... The foundational activities I have been working on over the past year have been just enough to get me through the dark seasons I went through this year, but I know things could have been much better for me if I hadn't stopped doing many of those foundational things that keep my life in order... It's clear to me what works and what doesn't work for me. I'm going back through the book "The Slight Edge" and reviewing my notes. That book (just like The Richest Man in Babylon and The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People) was so transformational for me. So simple to understand, but it has been a challenge to do it year here we go again...

    Have a blessed day all,

    One day at a time...
  7. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    Wow! It's been obvious to me for a long time that I let things slide when I'm feelin' blue... but less obvious that I also do that when I'm exited by good things. So, thanks! I kinda knew this, but really, it's a timely reminder for me to stay on top of foundational activities no matter what. Good onya, MM. Yr doin' great. :)
  8. NCBob

    NCBob The 11th commandment: Thou shalt not peek:-)

    That's part of my script as well, Musicman. Learning how to ride that emotional wave is the lesson at hand. Keep up the great effort!

    You too, Billy B :)
  9. Musicman 2.0

    Musicman 2.0 This is not a sprint, but rather a marathon...

    Brothers, I've not been posting on purpose this week. I've had a bad habit of talking too much about what I'm "going" to do then not following through so for this week I focused on action. I didnt PMO once this week and I had a date set for tonight. I didnt talk much at all to anyone about my upcoming date, didnt want to jinx myself or put any unneeded pressure on myself to try and do things perfectly... Mentally I just focused on taking things one day at a time. When today arrived I honestly didnt know what to expect on the date. Some fearful thoughts entered my mind to sabotage me, but I pressed through them. I've talked to this woman a few times on the phone and we had been texting back and forth all week back and forth but we all know people can present well over the internet, even over the phone. But all the hard work of the rejection therapy, forcing myself to talk to women over time and just getting back out in the dating scene really paid off tonight. Had the best first date I've ever been on. Shes beautiful intelligent and very loving. All attributes I have been looking for. I was authentically myself from beginning to end. I kissed her at the end of the date and it felt natural not forced at all. We had great conversation for a few hours and the physical chemistry is definitely there. Not sure where this will end up, I know there is much more to learn about her, but its a great start... The awesome thing is that right now I have no desire for PMO. I just want to spend more time with her. Intimacy shared between two people that have an authentic connection is so way superior to PMO. I know I'm not out of the woods yet, but this is a very encouraging sign. But as I've learned from past experience, I'm not getting to high or too low. Just going to keep taking things one day at a time... but this one day freakin :cool::cool:

    Much love to all...

    One day at a time...
  10. titan_transcendence

    titan_transcendence Well-Known Member

    No matter what will happen next you faced your fears and learned something. I wish you luck with that girl! :cool:
  11. Saville

    Saville Well-Known Member

    Awesome!! :)
  12. Gone fishing

    Gone fishing Active Member

    You are engaging life and that's awesome.
  13. Musicman 2.0

    Musicman 2.0 This is not a sprint, but rather a marathon...

    Thanks for all the comments bro's. It is indeed a blessing to have friends that support you in your failures and help you celebrate in your victories...

    Today will be spent getting things ready for the week and I'll spend some time in meditation. My energy is really amped up as I'm still buzzing over my date. Knowing my tendency to go to extremes I'm focusing on managing my emotional state today. Focusing on my breathing and staying connected to my authentic self. In moments like these its easy for me to start living in fantasy land. I tend to breathe really shallowly when I'm in these kinds of states which leads to me feeling out of control and nervous even though I'm excited. I'll spend a lot of time in fantasy imagining all the cool things that can come of this relationship rather than staying present, enjoying the moment, but not losing touch with reality... Had some temptation to PMO this morning because of all the sexual energy that is building up inside me, but still more than that I'm looking forward to the intimacy again so it was pretty easy for me to let it pass... I havent had a lot of moments of true intimacy like that in my life. Grateful for this experience now...

    Much love to all

    You know how I roll... One day at a time...
  14. NCBob

    NCBob The 11th commandment: Thou shalt not peek:-)

    Music to my ears, Musicman:D Nice effort!
  15. Jam

    Jam Active Member

    Really happy for you MM. stay in the moment. Don't overthink stuff. Life is an adventure to be lived, not a problem to be solved. Keep pressing on.
  16. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    Just... :)!
  17. Gone fishing

    Gone fishing Active Member

    If you want things to go well with the lady avoid PMO. Use the building sexual energy for connection, not avoidence.
  18. Musicman 2.0

    Musicman 2.0 This is not a sprint, but rather a marathon...

    Morning Brothers. Thanks for all the comments.

    This was a great week. Haven't felt like posting much lately but I just want to stay connected to the process. Pushed through all resistance this week and handled all of my main priorities. I feel like this new relationship is starting off on the right foot, although I am feeling some emotions of wanting to pull away as she wants to get closer. Which is just my old habits trying to take over. My Mr. Nice Guy inside starts to feel trapped and I have to remind myself that I am an adult and I have the power to choose whatever is best for me at any moment... Pretty uneventful week overall, I did however, up my time in meditation and I started reading a book entitled "Declutter your mind". A lot of really helpful information.

    Much love to all...

    One day at a time...
  19. Gabriel1960

    Gabriel1960 Self-Actualization Rocks!!!

    Yo. Be well.
  20. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!


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