Yes, the gaping maw of the addiction will swallow us up in an instant if we let it. I know the feeling well. I almost succumbed the other day. Today is all we have. Live life without the addiction, and we will make each day so much more fulfilling. I just now thought about what monks must deal with as they live lives of self-denial. It's the sense that, no matter how clean we try to be, there's still that nagging feeling that we are imperfect, and vulnerable to a fall. I think the happiest people (not just monks, of course) are the ones who are at peace with their humanity, and that being in the present and living with integrity is the best we can do on this earth.