Moz journal

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Mozenjo, May 22, 2014.

  1. NCBob

    NCBob The 11th commandment: Thou shalt not peek:-)

    Congrats for having another clean day, Moz:) We just need to continue to wash, rinse, and repeat enough times to make this our new normal.
    Enjoy your evening:D
     
  2. Mozenjo

    Mozenjo Well-Known Member

    Yes, these are critical times. I'm fighting some vague urges to peek, but I think it's the habit knocking on my door and saying "where have you been?". Of course I don't really want to stray, and I'm not going to, but it's annoying that I'm even thinking about it. Days 10 to 12 have always been a problem for me. So I'll just be vigilant and not open the door at all. It must stay sealed shut.
     
    NCBob likes this.
  3. NCBob

    NCBob The 11th commandment: Thou shalt not peek:-)

    Stay disciplined and keep up the good work, Moz:)
     
  4. Clovis6

    Clovis6 Well-Known Member

    True, but keep taking it a day at a time.
     
  5. NCBob

    NCBob The 11th commandment: Thou shalt not peek:-)

    Checking in with you Moz to see if you're staying the course. Hope you're well:)
     
  6. Mozenjo

    Mozenjo Well-Known Member

    Yes, staying the course. I didn't get on the computer at all yesterday. GF came over last night, and we enjoyed each other's company. Now it's time to get some work done.
     
  7. Clovis6

    Clovis6 Well-Known Member

    Good stuff!
     
  8. Mozenjo

    Mozenjo Well-Known Member

    OK, starting week 3. Fighting some urges, probably because I couldn't stay hard for the girlfriend last night and part of me wants to finish what I started. But she's not here now. So I could either rub one out with no pictures of any kind...or just suck it up and let the urges pass. I think the latter is a better idea. Much better. I need practice with the no arousal, no MO discipline. So, time to get to work.
     
  9. NCBob

    NCBob The 11th commandment: Thou shalt not peek:-)

    Let those urges pass, Moz. You'll be much happier on the other side:)
     
  10. Clovis6

    Clovis6 Well-Known Member

    I second that!
     
  11. Mozenjo

    Mozenjo Well-Known Member

    Thanks guys. I'm hanging in there. Today has been wobbly, but I knew there would be days like this. Stuck at the computer all day, so there you go. White knuckling some urges. Thinking about the GF has gotten me going, but MO while thinking about having sex with her will do me no good. So, it's 4:30 here in California, and I've got a good 5 or 6 hours to go before sleep. Most of it right here. Jeez...
    I'll make it.
     
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  12. NCBob

    NCBob The 11th commandment: Thou shalt not peek:-)

    I run into problems when I know I need to step away from the computer and I don't Moz. Also, for me, MO is not an option.
    If you stay on the computer and try to white knuckle it, you may be setting yourself up for failure...
     
  13. Mozenjo

    Mozenjo Well-Known Member

    Listened to some music while working and watched some clips of the old "Kung Fu" show with David Carradine. This grasshopper can learn a thing or two from someone with self-discipline, even if he's a fictional character from the '70's :cool: Signing off and hittin' the hay. No MO, no P. Another clean day.
     
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  14. ruggerdoug

    ruggerdoug Well-Known Member

  15. NCBob

    NCBob The 11th commandment: Thou shalt not peek:-)

    way to roll, Moz:)
     
  16. Mozenjo

    Mozenjo Well-Known Member

    Thank you Rugger and NCBob. Rollin' along.
    A nice, busy day that is keeping my mind on work.
     
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  17. NCBob

    NCBob The 11th commandment: Thou shalt not peek:-)

    excellent, Moz:)
     
  18. wareagle

    wareagle Member

    Hang in there Moz you’re doing great.
     
  19. NCBob

    NCBob The 11th commandment: Thou shalt not peek:-)

    How goes it, Moz?
     
  20. Mozenjo

    Mozenjo Well-Known Member

    Hey there, it goes well.
    I went to the GF's house for dinner, and though we are both swamped with our jobs, we got amorous and decided to give in and go for it. I was concerned that a "quickie", especially without medicinal assistance, might not work, and I was right. We still enjoyed being close to each other, but, I am disappointed (but not surprised) that 17 days in to this process, I'm not able to stay hard for her without help. Duh. I did produce some moisture, and she told me for the second time this week to go ahead and masturbate when I got home so I don't produce so much next time we make love. I was pretty sure I didn't want to do that, but with zero visual stimulation (except my memory of how she looked tonight), I decided to do it, but not the way I normally do (standard death grip method). Instead, I rubbed against the bed in the same position as if I was making love to her, and though it still took awhile, I finally released feeling more like I had stayed true to my commitment here. So no P or any visual stimuli at all, which is the main thing, and a change in the MO routine that felt pretty much OK. I'm not as convinced that it was better than just abstaining, but she has complained about my volume a few times, and really seemed sincere about her request.
    I am not going to make a habit out of this. On the contrary, MO is not going to help with anything as this stage of the game. PMO is a lot worse, of course, because of the dreaded P, which screws our brains up like we all know it does, but still...
    Anyway, under the circumstances, I'm not going to stress on this and plan on getting a sound sleep tonight.
     

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