Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Mozenjo, May 22, 2014.
Thanks, guys! Had a repeat performance last night. She was up for it again when we texted in the morning, but was tired after dinner. I just went for it anyway, and we quickly got in the mood and had fun. I'm trying to take the pressure off myself, and she has been patient with me getting hard enough, which is just what I needed. We both needed this.
This is great, Moz. The paradigm has shifted, my friend.
@Mozenjo how are your morning woods? How often do you have them?
At my 30-days mark I had more consistent morning woods than i have now. One possible explanation is that for the first month I never orgasmed, while now that I have a stable partner, I orgasm once or twice per week.
I am a bit worried that by orgasming with my partner I am slowing down my progress. For example, the last time I had sex this week, my erection was pretty weak.
What about you?
Thank you, Saville. I believe it has. But I need to keep vigilant. My goal is to stay away from subs.
They've been good. I actually have them regularly after real sex. Since I got off the daily pill, they tapered off a bit, but I'm OK with that. I don't want to go back to that kind of boner pill. The as needed worked again for me, so I'm planning on sticking with that route.
I have heard that regular sex can slow down your progress, but since getting off porn is Job #1, then as long as that is happening, I'm of the mind that not having sex when it's available could have its own downside. I suppose as long as your partner is good with that approach, then it may be a good way to go. For me, having sex 2 nights in a row was the best kind of progress I could have hoped for. I just need to keep from viewing pixels, and eventually get to no pills as well. Best of luck to you!
I will definitely keep having sex with my partner whenever I have a chance but I think I will try to limit the times I orgasm with her.
I think my body is not ready yet to have multiple orgasms in short periods of time. I feel like my last multiple orgasms pushed me back into a flatline . I will try to stick with one or two orgasms every 2 weeks and see how my body feels. Good luck to you too!
Sounds like a good plan.
Rudolf's recent post jolted me. I feel his frustration. The low level acting out is still acting out. One more peek at subs and I'm going to reset again. My confidence was rejuvenated last week, and I don't want to screw that up.
Viewed porn yesterday, so resetting. I couldn't log into the work computer yesterday morning, and instead of just hitting the shower and heading in, I did some other computer work Then, couldn't see the fiancee last night, and even after a day of being very disappointed in myself, plus some frustrating personnel issues to deal with at work, I did it again last night, this time from the phone. Wow. Self control went off the rails. Today will be clean, but I'm pissed. There's probably a bit of subconsious feelings that I deserve a treat after finally having successful sex. Talk about wrong thinking on an epic scale! What I deserve is to be free of this crap and a consistently successful real sex life. Jeez.
But the process of recovery and a healthy sex life is still continuing. 2 bad choices don't undo all those good choices that you have been making in the last weeks/months. Dust yourself off and keep going!
Thanks Gil. I dusted myself off and had a good day yesterday. Also had a short makeout session with her last night, and after a little groping, we both stopped and agreed to wait for the weekend. Probably a good thing. We need to do more hugging anyway. I'm noticing it more since it was much rarer during our drought, and was usually accompanied by both of us ruminating about how long it had been. A self-fueled train to nowhere. Now that there's a there there again, we need to go there a lot
Watched porn this morning. It was compulsive, joyless clicking, as it always is. MO'd to my fiancee's picture. We had a typical date night last night, where we eat a lot, have one too many drinks, and then try to do the deed. We were tired after watching our movie, but dove in anyway. We both had to pee pretty bad, but decided to go for it while the mood was hot. Well, you can guess the rest.
Part of my "thinking" this morning was that I had sex last week only a few days after a PMO session. I knew that didn't have any correlation to my success in bed, but it was still enough to get me to start peeking, which never ends well. I have to work all day today, and won't see her tonight. That may have also contributed to my dalliance, but there was some feeling sorry for myself for still not being able to perform on cue.
So, it's the 29th. Going to finish the month clean, and have a clean February too.
Moz. Overall - you have made some amazing progress this month. As now you can more easily visualise having a fun sex session with your fiancée - where the recollections are based on recent events.
and I think as your sexual situation with her becomes more routine in regard to fun sessions - the desire for PMO will lessen.
But as always - get back on the horse - and focus on finding others ways to distract from the urges.
you got this my friend!
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