Hi @Mozenjo , In a previous streak, few years ago, I also tried to have sex (without ED drugs) at around the 30-days mark and I could not perform. I was pretty sad and devastated at that time. However, during the current streak, when I was at the 30-days mark again, I tried to have sex with a former schoolmate. I was pretty worried that I could still have erection problems so I took some ED drugs (Kamagra Oral Jelly - Sildenafil) that a friend of mine gave me. It was my first time taking an ED drug and it worked. So, I guess recovery takes time. The longer you continue your recovery process, the better you will feel and sooner or later you will be able to perform. I suppose you are older than me (I am 30) so age could have an impact as well. Recently (around the 60-days mark) I started dating another girl and I decided I did not want to take ED pills anymore. I felt ashamed of taking the ED pills and at the same time I wanted to fully test my recovery. When we ended up at her place the first time, I felt strong performance anxiety. At first, I did not feel the same excitement that I felt when I had the ED drugs in my body. My mojo was not really on and I was worried I could not perform. But once she went down there and started to take care of it, I was on. My erections are not wonderful yet. They still come and go during intercourse, but I can already see big improvements. Just have faith in the process, work on yourself to become a better man. I know it is not easy but only time can heal you. Avoid PM and you will see improvements as well. Cheers!
Thanks, Dr. Jekyll, much appreciated. You are correct. In order to get the results, I need to put in the work. One of life's basic truths.
Home with a cold, and my brain is craving a hit of dopamine. I have to work on my computer, so coming here to check in rather than going "there" and checking out...
Working from home again. Because of my 'severe cold' meds and the high-octane coffee I had for breakfast, my brain doesn't know which way it's going What I have noticed is that just the thought of peeking starts firing some synapses, and that sensation is not actually pleasant. But it makes me realize that, under normal circumstances, this same phenomenon goes unnoticed until later on in my viewing ritual. And often when my resolve has withered. So, thanks to my altered state, I'm keeping things clean. Who woulda thunk?
Another sick day at home yesterday, and I caved. The dick has been dead since I came down with my cold, and for some reason, I couldn't let my sleeping dog lay. Not much to say about it, other than yep, the ol' boy still works when prodded. I don't feel good about that decision, but I also don't feel like raking myself over the coals any more than I already have. So, gonna shower and head in to work for an in-person meeting I can't miss. I'm Covid free, but will still wear a mask.
Thanks Saville, I appreciate that. I'm not sure I'd call my progress intact. I have made strides, but still have lots of work to do. I've been off the meds for about a week, which probably contributed to my lifeless dick (that and my cold), and in my weakened state, I just got into the "fuck it" mindset. That's not a good recipe for success. Back on the horse.
Yes, you definitely have. And, you have done it while suffering trauma. You have been like the trapeze artist reaching for the next trapeze, grazing it, and then falling into the net below. To fall from such a height and still bounce up determined to grab a hold of it next time is incredible. I am in awe at your fortitude. This is good. The body needs that break. It needs to heal and part of that healing is through suffering. When I embarked on my weight-loss plan, along with shedding the fat I also lost a good deal of muscle. The body cannibalizes everything. I felt as weak as a kitten. I felt worse being skinny, in some ways. It took time, many months, but I slowly built my muscles back and I'm now stronger than I was before. The flip side is I am more wrinkled, look older, and have saggy skin. But, it's my body, and I can still smile, walk, think, and enjoy. I heard a quote by an influencer who had lost a lot of weight. She said, "you can't hate yourself happy." We spend so much time looking at our "faults," don't we? Time to flip the narrative.
Yes it is, Saville. I had a good talk with my therapist yesterday regarding my pattern of worrying about whether I'm pleasing my mate, and fretting about how she feels, instead of what I want out of this relationship. A familiar theme of yours, my friend. "No more Mr. Nice Guy" may sound simplistic, but if my nice guy approach is to put her feelings above my own, then that is a narrative that does need to flip. If I focus on my needs first, hers will be met. When the oxygen masks fall in the airplane, who gets one first - you or your child? You, of course, so you can adequately care for your child.
Moz - it's great you have found a therapist who you like and are finding helpful. Has always been a struggle for me. I have tried 4 or 5 in my life for periods of several months to several years. But unfortunately never found one who provided the mix of candor and understanding that worked for me. Ironically - I have found much more support and insight from people on this forum like yourself than from a therapist! My wife has thankfully also been a great source of growth and support for me. Glad to see you back on the horse and focusing on what you NEED. It will be the path to make your relationships all work much better! Keep fighting!
I will! Your support is much appreciated, path-forward. We'll see how long I stick with my therapist. Like you, I get a lot from this place too, and at some point, may be re-hashing the same things with the professional help and paying a bunch of dough for it. We'll see...
Sorry to report another lapse. I came home from the SO's place at o'dark thirty as usual, this time incredibly frustrated from another night of missed opportunities. We didn't even get naked. She's tired of me not spending time with her during the day on the weekends, and was upset that I wasn't staying over until morning so we could be with each other more. So it kind of ruined our night, which I did have the power to change, I suppose. But when things go south for her, I don't really feel like it anymore. We texted this morning and agreed to make more time for each other. Unfortunately, since I took a pill last night (back to trying the "as needed" one instead of the daily one), I came home with pent energy that I released to pixels. Gotta stop that. Calling myself out for fucking up twice in one week. Ugh.
Yes. As usual, the hardest work must be done when our eye is taken off the real goal and we are fooled into thinking it's worth it.
Moz. Well said. Sorry for your stresses with your SO. Not making excuses for you. But those are some of the toughest. But try to keep your “eye on the prize.” I sense you and your SO are starting to communicate better, despite your bad night. You guys patched things up very quickly. Great to see! Get back on the horse. You got this!
Thanks, path-forward. We had a good night last night. Was a work night, so just ate dinner while watching some TV, talked, and just enjoyed each other's company. Seems like our sex life gets in the way of all that. But that's no excuse to not keep working back into a rhythm there, too. Pun intended
I'm very happy to report that my dry streak has ended. Had fantastic sex with the fiancee on her couch last night. We were both so happy and relieved. Like the weather people here in California are saying, I won't call the drought over, but the short term gain was HUGE! More later; gotta head off to work. Have a great day!
