I remember the time my pecker would not get hard. I was actually with one of the women I cheated with. She was devastated because she thought I didn't find her attractive. She hadn't had sex with her husband for a long time and so she already believed that she was past it physically. I felt the weight of her devastation and added that onto my own. I don't think I have ever felt so low in my entire life, not even when my parents died. I walked around like a zombie, I felt numb, I wished that I had never, ever, cheated, and told myself that's what comes from being a low-down dirty liar. If a bus had hit me I would've welcomed it. I didn't see the woman for some time after that. We kept texting, but I was on auto-pilot. One day she told me to come over, as her husband was out of town. I agreed, but secretly hoped and prayed that she would not want to try having sex; I didn't think I could cope. She did want to have sex and as it turns out, so did my pecker. I had decided that I would just mess around, but that I would not try penetration. It wasn't epic, but I did stay hard and came. Women simply do not understand how deflating, how defeating, and how demoralizing the above scenario can be for a man. I wrote a lot about me, but only to show you that the body knows when it's ready. The great news is that because we now know a new low, we can also welcome a deeper, and more lasting, joy. Keep fighting!