More than 70 days - Graduation

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by fullset, Apr 16, 2012.

  1. fullset

    fullset Member

    I am a 26 year old male. My first exposure to pornography was when I was either 12 or 13 back in 98 or 99. I have never had any magazines or anything in my house, and I started out just watching images on the internet. Thank God, streaming porn wasn't neither conceived nor feasible at that time. I graduated high school when I had just turned 17 and went to a university. I graduated high school with an A average and was a very good student.

    After I went to university, my life took a turn - a massive turn. My dorm had a high speed connection (download speeds of 2MB/s). Sometimes even greater if I used a different software - I can't remember the name of the software but it was for college campuses that if you were downloading from someone on your own campus it gave like 4-5 MB/s. That is when I discovered videos and I went on a binge. My beggar brain (56K modem) thought I had turned into a billionaire overnight. My grades during my time at the university were an absolute disgrace, but I didn't make the connection until now. PMO has fucked up my life and I'm ready for a change.

    On April 1, I started no MO, but watched porn. On April 11, I stopped watching porn. I had asynchronous results compared to almost every reboot experience so earlier I MO'ed twice with just fantasy within 2 hours. So now I'm on a regular reboot program that has brought success to many others. I'm clear in my expectations and going to be following the no PMO like a monk.
     
  2. fullset

    fullset Member

    Re: Re-calibrated Reboot

    Day 7 No P, Day 1 no MO, Day 1 Exercise

    Mood was fairly consistent - probably a 6 or 7. I don't feel as confident of myself as I did before no MO.
     
  3. fullset

    fullset Member

    Re: Re-calibrated Reboot

    Day 8 no P, Day 2 no MO, Day 2 Exercise

    Mood probably a 7. 5 would be the middle of the pendulum, but things are better on the horizon. Nothing serious, but it just feels that way. Feeling positive in neutral times. Now that is good. Didn't work out today, but feeling the soreness in my muscles that I worked yesterday. Speaking of muscles...I just researched on foods that help lactic acid build-up in muscles...need to try lemon juice...a thought for me if I forget: try a little of baking soda in water. That would be a good experiment.

    Woke up with morning wood @ about 60-65%. Libido comes and goes. Motivation to do things is very high. Had a few urges earlier to MO without porn. But I'm going to resist. Strangely, I feel like I am a lot stronger after just one work out...I have never been a gym person, but now I'm thinking may be it was just because of my PMO addiction. But anyways, going back to my urge to MO, I felt strong and in a strange way kind of felt similar to how I felt after looking at P. I was reading someone's journals (I think one of the highly read people) and someone mentioned that we watch porn because it makes you feel like you are over-powering that woman. I like the feeling of being over-powering post work out. This can only be good as it will make my interactions in real life that much more interesting.

    Porn neurologically twists our perception of reality. I'm ready to see and feel the world as it is.
     
  4. fullset

    fullset Member

    Re: Re-calibrated Reboot

    Day 3 no MO, Day 8 no P, Day 3 Exercise

    Mood has been ok. Had a few porn flashbacks (mostly images of pornstars). Libido doesn't seem bad given the day was fairly uneventful since I'm still sore. Morning wood @ about 60%. Slept a lot like 12-13 hours. Ready to get the soreness over with and work out again. As I mentioned in my last post, working out seems just as stimulating and overpowering as porn does. Making progress in quitting nicotine as well. Being excited about working out helps because I wouldn't be as sore as I am now if I didn't smoke. Smoked MJ...thinking about cutting back on it since it triggers my nicotine habit as well. Need to start some studying done. No random erections :( yet.

    Reminded of a couple of lines from one of Robert Frost's poem:

    And miles to go before I sleep.
    And miles to go before I sleep.

    This reboot journey feels the same?
     
  5. fullset

    fullset Member

    Day 3 no MO, Day 8 no P, Day 3 Exercise

    Update

    Feeling a huge surge in my mental capacities. I feel great magnetism and the desire to do something outstanding. I'm in love with this feeling.
     
  6. Laurynas

    Laurynas 300 Days+ Experienced.

    Re: Re-calibrated Reboot

    Hey fullset,

    you're doing great so far. Hopefully you'll keep it up and be an inspiration to me and others that are trying to get rebalanced.

    Myself, I've set up goals and will set up rewards for each goal (step) I've completed that leads to getting rid of PMO completely. What do you think about trying that out to motivate yourself?
     
  7. fullset

    fullset Member

    Re: Re-calibrated Reboot

    I've read through your journal. If it works for you, great, but in my experience so far, achieving mini goals leads to complacency. It is not something that I can afford. I don't know about you, but my brain creates scenarios which lead me to think that "oh, I've finished 1 week, I can beat this" and next thing I know when I think that this enemy is beatable, I won't mind a relapse thinking that it can be done again. This happened to me when I quit smoking, and now I'm back to smoking again. During this no PMO, I'm trying to quit smoking as well. My theory is that the resulting clear thinking from no PMO will keep me focussed on beating nicotine as well.

    I'll be following your journal and keep track of your progress. Good luck!
     
  8. Laurynas

    Laurynas 300 Days+ Experienced.

    Re: Re-calibrated Reboot

    Oh, I know that feeling, well the smaller chunks motivate me "I've gone 1 week without PMO, now let's go for 3" and etc.

    There is another way to motivate yourself instead of small chunks of the goal take a piece of paper and a pen and write down 15 things why you want/need to quit PMO, what will change if you quit and so on. You can try it if you want.

    Good luck to You to on quitting PMO and nicotine as well! I'll be sure to follow your journal as well.
     
  9. fullset

    fullset Member

    Re: Re-calibrated Reboot

    Thanks for the paper and pen suggestion...I'm sure it'll keep me strong when I think about relapsing.
     
  10. fullset

    fullset Member

    Re: Re-calibrated Reboot

    Day 4 no MO, Day 9 no P, Day 4 Exercise

    Just woke up a few minutes ago. Morning wood at about 70%. Feel tired...my muscles are still sore. Will go workout. My friends are adamant about getting a few drinks and going to a strip club. I went through this last week and pulled through without any tragedies. I expect the same tonight. The self-assured feeling I had last night while at work has disappeared. May be its because I just woke up. Need to do pen and paper strategy before I leave though.
     
  11. fullset

    fullset Member

    Day 5 no MO, Day 10 no P, Day 5 Exercise

    Wood at about 80%. Came back home last night after going to a strip club and a bar and passed out. The wood stayed for a good 10 minutes, although a few memories from the strip club and some hot girls from the bar might have contributed. Still feeling a little sore. Waiting for muscle recovery to resume work-outs. A reminder for me for the future in case I forget: look down for better control on fantasies. I might be coming down with the common cold but it might not be a bad thing. I think being sick is the surest way to no-fap. Need to run a lot of errands today.
     
  12. fullset

    fullset Member

    Day 6 no MO, Day 11 no P, Day 6 Exercise

    Day 6 no MO, Day 11 no P, Day 6 Exercise

    Didn't run all the errands I had to. Will get them done later today after I get off work. Libido on the low side. No spontaneous erections. Mood is about a 6/7. Had a few urges to watch P, had a few urges to MO, but I ploughed through them. I feel like I'm getting stronger. I will work-out later today (after I get off work and sleep). Self-confidence seems to be high. Liking a few glances from girls. Need to be a little more courageous saying something witty to them.

    Update:

    About to finish work and go home and sleep. Feeling kinda shitty with the weather changes. Runny nose and sneezing. Can't wait to feel better.
     
  13. fullset

    fullset Member

    Day 7 no MO, Day 12 no P, Day 7 Exercise

    Day 7 no MO, Day 12 no P, Day 7 Exercise

    Feel like absolute shit. Runny nose, fever, sneezing, coughing, sore throat, itchy tongue, funny feeling in the ears. The silver lining? No urges to watch porn, or MO. Or to touch my dick for that matter. Or even thinking. About anything. Need to work at 11...so contemplating if I want to call in. I don't know why I'm thinking longer than 30 seconds on this.
     
  14. fullset

    fullset Member

    Re: Re-calibrated Reboot

    Day 7 no MO, Day 12 no P, Day 7 Exercise Continued

    Called in to work, but still came to work. I figured since I had slept the entire day, I wouldn't be able to sleep at night. I doubt that I would've gone the MO route without the P may be to fall asleep, but I can't afford to take this lightly. At work, if I feel bad and am ready to sleep, I can always leave early. Just a small sacrifice against the battle with PMO. I hope it is going to be worth it.
     
  15. fullset

    fullset Member

    Day 8 no MO, Day 13 no P

    Day 8 no MO, Day 13 no P

    Still feel like shit, but a lot better than yesterday. Libido and mood on the low side probably because of fever. Absolutely no urges to look at porn...had a few flashbacks of erotic pics, but was easily able to block them in less than 2 seconds. Thank god for a night off. Hope I feel better tomorrow.
     
  16. fullset

    fullset Member

    Re: Re-calibrated Reboot

    Update

    Holy shit I feel good. Best I think I have ever felt in my life. Ever. Worth mentioning again: ever.
     
  17. Onanymous

    Onanymous Living in the real world now

    Re: Re-calibrated Reboot

    That's great, fullset. I'm on Day 8 and feeling pretty good, too.

    Congrats on this milestone in your life. Just imagine how good 6 months is going to feel.
     
  18. fullset

    fullset Member

    day 9/14 no mo/p

    Worked out today. Felt life in my pants. Mood 9/10. I feel like I'm breathing different air. This is fucking awesome.
     
  19. Onanymous

    Onanymous Living in the real world now

    Re: Re-calibrated Reboot

    Nice! Remember to look back on these journal entries if you have a rough day in the future.

    Imagine when feeling like this will be the new normal, and you just take it for granted. Awesome.
     
  20. Re: day 9/14 no mo/p

    That's great, man! Just finished reading your journal...keep going! You seem like you're gonna do this reboot without much effort! (but don't keep your guard down...)
     

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