Merton's reboot log

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by Merton, Oct 30, 2018.

  1. occams_razor

    occams_razor Well-Known Member

    I met Merton on the way -
    He had a mask like Castlereagh -
    Very smooth he looked, yet grim;
    Seven blood-hounds followed him:
    Merton likes this.
  2. -Luke-

    -Luke- Well-Known Member

    Long time no see, Merton. I hope you are alright.
    Merton and Gil79 like this.
  3. Thelongwayhome27

    Thelongwayhome27 Well-Known Member

    We've been losing soldiers. Eternity, Merton, Occam's, Bezoechow. :(

    Though something tells me Merton has found some good support in his real life 12 steps group.
    Last edited: Oct 11, 2019
    Merton and Gil79 like this.
  4. Merton

    Merton Well-Known Member

    Wow I did not realize how long its been since I've been on here! Thanks for all the support guys. I am mostly using SMART recovery now, going to 1 SMART meeting per week and 1 SAA meeting per week. I also have a long list of daily disciplines that I do, which I can get into later on. I find if I complete them before anything else, it tells my brain that recovery is my top priority. Since I have started these things, recovery has gone so much better.

    Anyway I'll still check in from time to time. I hope everyone is doing well here. I'll try to update about what I've done (more specifically) sometime soon. Keep fighting brothers!
    forlorn, Pete McVries, -Luke- and 4 others like this.
  5. Thelongwayhome27

    Thelongwayhome27 Well-Known Member

    Great to hear from you Merton. I knew you were doing well.

    Love this part !

    I guess the right action always tells our brain what we really want to do. And in time the beasts loses it's (former) strength.
    axebattler likes this.
  6. -Luke-

    -Luke- Well-Known Member

    Glad you are doing well, Merton!
  7. NewStart19

    NewStart19 Well-Known Member

    I'm sure that life is keeping you plenty preoccupied, but if you do ever have the time, I'd love to hear more about this list.

    Hope all is well with you and your family!
  8. Merton

    Merton Well-Known Member

    Hey guys. I haven't updated since November. I had a great period of freedom from mid October to mid December (60 days) and things were going great. I relapsed from the "just one peek" idiotic idea and since then have been struggling. I think one of the things I am lacking is strong connection to many others who are dealing with this same issue. I've been utilizing the SMART tools, which seem to be great for changing your thinking, but most people there are on alcohol and drugs, so I slowly get this feeling of isolation. I've been looking around threads here and at nofap to remember that porn is truly a huge problem with millions of people. This seems to help.

    Thanks for reading.
  9. Merton

    Merton Well-Known Member

    Also thanks thelongwayhome, luke, and newstart19 for all the support. You guys are great. I am pumped to bathe in the support of other addicts from here!
    Thelongwayhome27 likes this.
  10. -Luke-

    -Luke- Well-Known Member

    Hey Merton, good to see you!
    That's something Matt at porn free radion talks a lot about (You were the one who made me aware of that podcast btw, so thanks), especially during a longer streak. He always talks about staying in touch and helping others in order to stay clean.

    Do you still attend the saa meetings?
    Merton and Thelongwayhome27 like this.
  11. Merton

    Merton Well-Known Member

    Hey @-Luke- thanks for the message. Yeah, porn free radio is great, and I am starting to see what he was saying. I was going to SAA meetings, but they never seemed to help me at all. The problem was that I never understood what on earth they were going on about there. I read the book, but still it was more or less full of riddles to me. I found SMART recovery, which made way more sense, and have been following the program there. There are fewer people with porn addiction there (it is a general program, mostly with drug/alcohol addicts), and so over time I started to feel disconnected again, like I was part of a small minority of people who are dealing with this. I decided to come back here and nofap and inundate myself with the literally thousands of posts of various topics. I never spent so much time just sifting through posts, reading experiences, and so on. It is really making me feel like this is an important thing to do, to join the movement and stay the hell away from the poison. I feel like, combined with the SMART tools (which focus on changing your thinking), it may be the way to go.

    Another great podcast is porn reboot. I may have found it after I left here. It is similar to porn free radio, but somehow they guy seems even more experienced and knowledgeable. He can be a little too alpha male for me, but he has great content.
    -Luke- likes this.
  12. -Luke-

    -Luke- Well-Known Member

    Thanks for the tip. I'll give that podcast a shot. I remember that guy from somewhere. Wasn't he a member of this forum in the past? Not sure...
  13. Merton

    Merton Well-Known Member

    Hey guys I'm coming up on a week. Keeping the morale up daily with an hour of forum reading. Thanks for everyones support and let's keep going.
    Pete McVries, Guts, -Luke- and 2 others like this.
  14. Ereignis

    Ereignis Active Member

    Nice to see you back.
    Merton likes this.
  15. Merton

    Merton Well-Known Member

    Hey guys I have still been around reading. The last couple of weeks were quite bad because I had a visitor and traveled, and both of these took up all of my time. I am realizing now that when I consistently put in time reading forums, this keeps me motivated, and I feel like I am part of a big group of people fighting this thing. Thanks for the support everyone and I am committing to stick to my routine of staying connected. It is amazing how even virtual connection can work so well in keeping me on track.

    @Ereignis thanks for the support man!
    axebattler and Pete McVries like this.
  16. Ereignis

    Ereignis Active Member

    I find that even if I don't spend any time on the web, making a journal entry and saving it as a text file on my computer helps keep me on track and prevents me from forgetting about my goals.
    Merton likes this.
  17. TrueSelf

    TrueSelf Active Member

    @Merton I hope all is well with you. Please give us an update it you happen to visit the forum.
    -Luke- likes this.

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