Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (4 spots open) Hi, I would like to join this group. Ok. Let me share my story. Why nobody is updating now? I am 32, Asian. I started PMO since I was 22. On the same year I moved to Europe for studies and 2 years later I found a job and stayed there till now. Living in a completely different culture alone has been difficult. I started using prostitute since I was 27. This sounds pretty messed up, doesn’t it? My employment status has not been very stable since the beginning of my professional career because of the economic crisis and some opportunities I missed too, which was not very helpful in this case. I started putting efforts to improve my life since 3 years ago. I followed some self-development programs. At the same time, one of the personal trainers told me to get some male energy after spending a few hours with me. In the past 3 years, I realized that he was right. Compared with western men, I am not very masculine as an Asian. I realize this racial difference but this never makes me feel inferior. Last year, I realized porn is one of the things that suck my energy. I was not sexually aggressive enough in front of women; I was not proactive and did not speak up at my job. These are typical symptoms of lacking male energy. Talking about women, I never had a gf. Ironically I realize that I am actually attractive in front of women, which makes me realize even more about important of male energy. I work for a big international company, where I got a lot of IOIs from female colleagues. One of them kissed my cheek on Valentine’s Day during a colleagues after-work drink but I did not take action. Another one said she liked me in the office room with other colleagues present. I had a date with still another one and told her to go home at the end of the date in front of my door… I don’t know if there is another man who behaves like this. The fact that they are my colleagues made me hesitate. Another reason is I was so uncomfortable to get close to women, to touch them and bring them home, etc. But I use prostitute... This is abnormal. As for my job, I don’t like it very much either. It is too IT for me. That is why I am actively searching for a new one right now. And yes, I tried PMO challenge from July last year. My goal was 90 days no pmo but I relapsed on day 62. Once I relapsed, I became less disciplined and dedicated then consequently felt bad about it. Actually 62 days without pmo was an amazing achievement for me. I did not have to feel bad even though I relapsed. Then I stopped the challenge. Since then I think I have been masturbating once per week, sometimes with porn but mostly in bed when I woke up in the early morning without porn. I would like to start the 90 days no pmo again. And I will update here once per week. But this is not just about pmo challenge but an effort to have a better life in general. Thus, my situation with women and job will be updated here as well. I made the decision almost one month ago to start this journal but procrastinated until now because I was afraid. I am still afraid that I would not be able to hold to my plan as before. I made some kind of plan to form a new life habit 2 years ago and I stuck to it for just a month. I tried pmo challenge and kept it for 62 days. Because of laziness, I started posting my status here once every day, then every other days, then every week… Feeling bad because of relapsing actually had a worse impact than relapsing itself. My summary of the challenge last year is as follow. The good things I did were 1. Installing k9 on my laptop at home 2. Posting a printed calendar on the wall and counting down the days from 90 3. Updating my situation here regularly 4. Meditating almost every day Besides what was done last year, these are what I can do to improve 1. Reading Slight Edge. Yes, pure will power is not sustainable in the long run. The philosophy of being discipline should be injected into my cognitive system (I have already finished half of the book) 2. Making an excel sheet to give myself a daily score to observe the long term trend (this will be shared) 3. Installing k9 on my laptop with my friends email address (done) So much for now. I will keep posting here.