Men of Steel [GROUP]

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by totallyyours, Feb 28, 2014.

  1. goingforward

    goingforward Keep calm and carry on!

    Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (8 spots open)

    i know, exams are a damn thing.. i am having them too

    and i began the no fap challenge - it will be hard, man
     
  2. totallyyours

    totallyyours Loyalty, honor, and a willing heart

    Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (8 spots open)

    4 days and then a reset. Been lazy and haven't done regular prayers, exercise, or reading. Funny how that works.

    Best of luck on exams everyone. Use your energy to ace them with God's grace. Praying you do well.

    goingforward, your avatar reminds me of: "Were not our hearts burning within us while he spoke to us on the way and opened the scriptures to us?" - Lk 24:32


    This helps me think about what masturbation is (my emphasis):

     
  3. OhioGuy

    OhioGuy New Member

    Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (8 spots open)

    Intro:

    32, single..... Never been married very few relationships. Addicted to internet porn since 18. Have seen the progression from fetish to fetish. Familiar with many similar AA methods of dealing with addiction as I have many friends in the program. I feel porn addiction has 100 percent warped my view on a healthy human relationship. I look back and realize that it has probably cost me what I want most in life... A loving family.

    So this is my reboot. I want to change the way I view people, women and sex. I want to live in the moment and enjoy life rather than compulsively partake in artificial joyless release.

    I will update whenever I feel the need because support will be important.



    Thanks.
     
  4. Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (8 spots open)

    Welcome OhioGuy. Good luck with the reboot! I can't think of a better goal than establishing a loving family.
     
  5. goingforward

    goingforward Keep calm and carry on!

    Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (8 spots open)

    Ohio welcome, i hope you will build relationship of your dreams ;)

    all: how are you? How does reboot go? I have just made it 2 days without mo xd
    not too long but i hope i will limit it
     
  6. sammy

    sammy New Member

    Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (8 spots open)

    how can i join??
     
  7. goingforward

    goingforward Keep calm and carry on!

    Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (8 spots open)

    post your story and you're welcome
     
  8. totallyyours

    totallyyours Loyalty, honor, and a willing heart

    Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (7 spots open)

    Welcome new members and prayers for all. I've had a couple good streaks going lately which inched up my average but still stuck under the 10 day mark. I noticed recently that porn is actually becoming unattractive to me for the following reasons:

    1. I know that most if not all of the actors and actresses have extreme pain with performing: mental, physical, or emotional, but they act through it. I'm likely watching someone in intense pain and faking it which isn't arousing and is the opposite of romantic or intimate. They also may even hate each other in real life. What a fool I am for falling for it.

    2. I'm also coming to better understand sex as a union between my wife with the potential to create life. Porn doesn't create life for me or the actors. If it does they likely get an abortion (and sometimes several abortions) which also is a turn off. The power of sex is that it's unifying and life giving, literally and spiritually. Everything that happens before sex is still a part of it: self sacrifice, building a life together, romance, touch, dialogue, etc.

    3. I'm better able to take myself out of the temptation by preferring intimacy with my wife, which actually benefits me unlike PMO, and realizing that PMO is not real. I know that's common sense but I'm trying to take my head knowledge and move it my heart and the forefront of my thinking when I see an attractive woman.

    Ohioguy,
    It's never too late to turn it all around. Glad you're here. Talk to us about it and if you can find someone in-person to talk about it too. The more I share with those around me, the more I see it's a common problem and we can help each other.

    God bless you all.
     
  9. maloo

    maloo New Member

    Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (7 spots open)

    I'm still alive!

    Hi guys. I've been away from the forum for a while. I finally checked in because I think I needed to come back to this reality. This good cause that is happening here.

    I fight depression. I fight the temptation to give up and not hope or care. I fight to remember that how I feel in any given moment is often irrelevant, or at least very unimportant to remembering what I have learned and what I have seen. Remembering my first love and the God that I have known before. Remembering the damage that I have done and knowing I don't want to go back.

    Onward...
     
  10. forever

    forever New Member

    Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (7 spots open)

    It's the second time i'm trying to quit it.

    I'm 20 a student.I've been M'ing for the past few years very frequently.It has bring me down in many ways.I feel less confident,less active.It all feels lazy and pointless.

    I've stopped for 15 days until yesterday when i again M and gave up to those sick emotions.Now i'm planning to stop it forever except Sex.

    I've been single all my life and masturbation just brings down my confidence.

    Now i'm planning to focus more on developing myself.I'll concentrate more on my studies and spend quite some time at the gym so that i can feel more confident about myself.

    I want to view women and sex as love and not just casual hookup to satisfy urges.They need to be treated as something precious and PMO is making me view them like an object.I feel bad about myself.Its like virus,it just doesnt go out of my head.

    Me and myfriend have started a noFAP promise and he's going on hard and hasnt PMO'ed for the past 20 days and he's confident to stop it permanently.He says he's going to do it only with his wife.I was going well for 15days without PMO but i was alone and i gave up to P. I hope my fellow mates here will help me out it achieving it.



    Yeah hello everyone.

    Lets do this :)
     

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  11. maloo

    maloo New Member

    Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (7 spots open)

    Hello forever!

    These last points are the clinchers. What are you going to do?--that is what is most important. People of faith or who have convictions and values about this stuff focus more on what we should NOT do, but it will change when you fix your eyes on what you will do. You are doing a great job at this moment and it is well worth the discomfort and pain you will feel as you go along.

    Hang in there and I'm glad you're aboard, forever. :D
     
  12. Letscrackthis

    Letscrackthis "He is not here, for he has risen!"

    Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (7 spots open)

    Hi, I'd like to join!
     
  13. goingforward

    goingforward Keep calm and carry on!

    Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (7 spots open)

    welcome on board, but first, tell us your story ;)

    how are you doing guys?

    i'm praying for you all
     
  14. Astray180

    Astray180 Know Thyself

    Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (7 spots open)

    I'd like to join, please. You guys are all awesome!
     
  15. maloo

    maloo New Member

    Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (7 spots open)

    Well....

    I'm ok. How I'm doing well: I'm staying away from PMO well, and getting better at avoiding the edging stuff too. It's definitely a process. I'm slowly--ever so slowly, it seems--making progress on figuring out what it is to be ME and what makes me happy. What gives me purpose. What God made me to be, and not apologize for. I'm letting go of things I can't control and taking responsibility for what I can. I'm caring less each day about the vain things I chased after for most of my life, and the approval I needed from people.

    How I'm really struggling: my depression has been intensifying lately. Some days I can only get out of bed because I have to show up at work. I'm mad at my wife who is divorcing me and feeling more lost in that battle. I'm withdrawing from family and friends because I'm just overwhelmed right now. I'm withdrawn from God too, although I still get a sense of His being present and that there is a purpose that will arise from all of this crap I'm going through.


    That's how I'm doing, in summary.
     
  16. Nelson

    Nelson Guest

    Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (7 spots open)

    I would like to join this group.

    About me

    Hi, I am 28 and have been fighting against PMO and MO for a few years now. I started in this when I was like 13 years old, when a friend mentioned the M word and I did not know what was it, so I made a research and I found myself suddenly watching on line pictures and videos about solo sex for men and women. I was curios about my own body and I wanted to know how to use it, so I started to watch PVI videos, in that time, we had no Internet at home, so I spent hours in where we call cyber cafes, but until then, I did not feel bad about it, because most of my partners were doing the same. When I was 14 years old, my mother died, and that make feel terrible, alone, my father was working all the time, so he was not available to talk to. I spend many hours alone at home. When I was at High school I tried to left that stage of my life behind.
    I can say I left this for a few years, or at least I decrease the PMO and MO, when I was like 23, I was so lovesick of my girlfriend that also we were making weeding plans, or that was I thought; then my father died too, and my whole world was upside down again, few months later after this, my girlfriend broke up with me, arguing that I was not the same and she was not ready for this commitment, so she left me and never spoke again.
    All this thrown me into the most stressful experience I ever had, so I came back to my old habits (PMO and MO), and even worst because this time round we had Internet at home and I was paying for this so I felt in the right to do what ever I wanted.
    So since then, I have been trying and trying to give up on it, sometimes I lasted more, other times less, but always relapsing.
    I was really confused, because during my research about MO most of the sites tells you that it's ok, that is a kind of practice, that it is necessary, but I did not know why I was always sad, untouchable, and frustrated. Something inside of me always told me that it was not ok, so I decided to look for answer and that is how I ended in this forum. When I watched the video of UK channel 4 about the damage the P does to the brain, made me literally cry, because I have been wasting my potential, my energy and my time in this.

    So hereafter, I am going to switch my mind, focus more on my life's goals.
    My life it is not too bad, I have a nice job, but it could be better, much better. I have left gone many opportunities in my life in love matter, job promotions, and others because of my shyness, lack of confidence and courage.
    Now that I realize that this is not healthy for my body and mind, I will do everything on my power to left this behind for good.

    I get a gym membership, I have started to take walks, I have limited my hours on-line, I already downloaded sci-fi, cooking and another interesting books to read on my tablet also the one recommended in this forum.
    So far, I have been on this effort for a week, and I can say that I already started to see the changes in me, on the way I feel and the way I see women; even one of my females co-worker told that I was good looking and that I looked younger and fresh also a buddy asked me what my secret was to be like that.
    I am happy and positive about this changes, I know it is not easy, but is not impossible either.
    I pray to God to give me the strength and the wisdom to achieve this goal: to get a new and better life.
     
  17. Astray180

    Astray180 Know Thyself

    Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (7 spots open)

    What a great group of guys here! It’s truly an honor to share my story with you all.

    Okay, so here’s my intro…

    I’m 33, live alone, and I am currently single. The two serious romantic relationships I’ve had in my life were both long term and lasted for years but I rarely speak to my exes now. I’ve been struggling with PMO since I was very young, probably around age 15, but since puberty I’ve struggled with lusting after women and MOing. I was also a drug addict for many of my younger years. My self-abuse has been great, but God is a God of love and He forgives and restores if we will turn to him. At my lowest point I was smoking crack and doing cocaine on a daily basis, but even in the midst of my disobedience God was there and He completely delivered me from my drug addictions. I don’t know how or why He began to pull me out of that lifestyle, but He did. All I can conclude is that He has a purpose for me, and I wholeheartedly believe that addressing my issues with lust is the next step of that plan.

    I began having sexual problems at around age 26 after many years of MOing and PMOing, mainly pain in my prostate area, but I’ve been checked out by multiple docs and they all say there’s nothing abnormal or wrong with me. I’ve had scans and x-rays and MRIs, and they show nothing. I still have constant pain, but remaining abstinent seems to help to some degree. I realize that I have brought this on myself, but I am learning to forgive myself for it. Prayer led me to this forum about a year ago and I am here to share my story and leave behind the old destructive patterns of lust that have dominated my life for so long. I’ve learned that I held a lot of anger for myself when I began posting on YBR and that anger manifested as an addiction to P and MOing, but I’ve also discovered self-love and accepting myself just as I am is essential to making this process work, and I truly believe that Christ wants us to find love for ourselves within this experience. God’s Love for us is so great, how could He not want us to love and respect ourselves? That’s my heart, guys.
     
  18. totallyyours

    totallyyours Loyalty, honor, and a willing heart

    Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (4 spots open)

    maloo,
    So sad to hear about your wife. I would crumble if my wife did that and I'm so thankful she's stuck with me. Does she still talk to you, keep a friendly relationship? I may have said it before but The Alexander House and their book Marriage 911 is a great resource. They were both ready to divorce, did bad things to each other, and they turned it around. I hope for the best for you and your spouse. (Edit: just saw your post in your journal. Hang in there!)

    Welcome to the new guys! We're almost full. Be sure to give an intro if you haven't already.

    From all of your posts it seems PMO masks a lot of other problems in our lives. I'm seeing this in my life. When I'm not PMOing, I'm able to uncover and deal with issues (which seem neverending!). But this is life and living it to the fullest.

    I'll also advise relationships. If you don't have friends, find some at your local church, or anywhere. Be a good friend first before you expect to have one. Just call in and check on people, see how you could help them. When I'm concerned about other people, I don't care as much about my problems and forget about PMO.
     
  19. totallyyours

    totallyyours Loyalty, honor, and a willing heart

    Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (4 spots open)

    I've had little spurts of success lately. I've been getting more serious and organized at work and at home. Getting things done (more) timely. Focus is hard for me so frequent short stops for prayer help me re-focus. I even set 7 alarms throughout the day to remind me to stop and pray the Liturgy of the Hours. Need it!

    The extra time with my family has been helpful. My wife is pregnant so I'm trying to help her more. I've also been reading more like other guys have said. Ironically, I read a lot of e-books on my phone instead of wasting time surfing social media on my phone (like I used to do).

    Slowly I think Christ is giving me new life. He's raising me from the dead, from the ashes that I have burnt myself into. Holiness takes time, and His idea of time is typically slower than mine. But still I'm focusing on him as the love of my life, my True Spouse, who always loves, always fulfills, and always waits for me to be one with him.

    I'm praying and I love you all. Go love others.
     
  20. Nelson

    Nelson Guest

    Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (4 spots open)

    Hi everyone!
    I have been doing exercices for a week now, and reading the recomended book the slight edge wich is awesome!
    I have started to see some efects in my body due to the recovery processs like, morning erections, feeling more confident, less headaches, etc., what I am still adjusting is the sleeplessness, I do know why is now so hard falling asleep than before.

    Any idea?
     

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