Men of Steel [GROUP]

Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (9 spots open)

Thanks Maloo. Great stuff there.

 

Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (9 spots open)

I guess it seems like filling my life up with stuff is hard to do when i know i have school. i dont want to fill it up to much and not have time for me or God.

This morning i just watched the movie 'blue like jazz' and i could really relate to one of the lines 'im sorry for misrepresenting God'
i feel like my whole struggle with MO is misrepresenting God. My procrastination tendencies, my cowardly withdraws under pressure, my choice to sin day after day. I dont feel like i know what to do

maybe i am not pursuing God enough, i do not take His directions and guidelines in the bible seriously and apply them in my life. i have not been taking the advice seriously enough from people in this forum.

each time i read something, i may acknowledge it and appreciate it, but i dont apply and practice it. its as if every single time i find something that could help me i tell myself that i dont need it and dont want it.

 

Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (9 spots open)

This is how I've been feeling lately. I've also been in a slump lately. I think more time in prayer and reflection can help us. Taking the principles and internalizing them. Don't let them stay in your head or let them pass by but bring them into your heart. Also realize that God loves you more than anyone and He doesn't want us to hurt ourselves anymore.

One minor change I've made is to lock my mobile browser which has incognito mode. I downloaded Chrome which also has incognito mode, but I'm not used to using and don't want to use it. I had the incognito mode from my stock browser wired into my habits so I had to break it. I actually opened an incognito mode in Chrome yesterday but thought, "I don't want to ruin this browser by wiring this into my habits." So I stopped. It's a minor change but it helps break up the cycle that was causing me to relapse. I'm going to continue making small changes but also try and build up my good habits like praying, reading, working, and exercising.

Sometimes I replace my PMO addiction with regular internet addiction which kills my productivity and time. So, I'm trying to dive more into my work and see the adventure in my job. I don't have a bad job but many times I don't appreciate what God has given me in it. I can't put it off anymore so I have to embrace the path he has laid for me. I can't stand still anymore and wonder what lays ahead, I have to walk and find it, find out for myself God's will.

Have a great Holy Week everyone. I'm reading parts of St. Faustina's Diary, Diving Mercy in My Soul, which is very appropriate for this time of year. His Mercy can heal and prevent us from future fallings.

 

Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (9 spots open)

I avoided PMO this week, but it seems like I am using food and video games to avoid reality. I felt the urge to get into P, but no images. It's weird.

I try to think about why I am quitting PMO a couple of times a week. It makes it easier to avoid doing that when I see the big picture. When I get the 1st urge, I hope onto this site for help on that.

I am praying more, but I have not felt as good of a connection to God for the last few years. I am hoping that comes back as I keep doing it.

Take care all. Have another great week!

 

Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (9 spots open)

I think i am improving now. Though i also have used up time in an unhealthy way by watching movies.

I am also avoiding school work; sort of not getting anything done that i need to.

I have just gotten busy again so that seems to be the main thing helping me.

May God bless you guys!!

 

Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (9 spots open)

can i join?

if so, i'll add my story

 

Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (9 spots open)

You're in! Nice flame. It's kind of like our superpower when not fapping.

Don't worry about the feelings. Lots of things that are healthy don't necessarily feel good right away. Just work on realizing he is all around you and inside you right now and wants you to realize his love for you. Ask Him to set you on fire and let Him.

Good week so far for me here. Slowly getting more invested in work and wasting less time online. Getting off my phone and realizing that life is short so I should put as much love into what I'm doing and the people around me that I can. So what if I don't know every detail that's in the news (most of it's crap anyways), or everything on social media (people I know, or strangers!).

God gave me a small family, a few people in my life, and a little work to do. It's time I start doing it well. The greatest saints were simple people that did simple things with great love.

On a separate note, I'm greatly looking forward to the canonizations of JPII and John XXIII this weekend. I enjoy learning about JPII's life and his habits of holiness. I have the new book on JPII by Jason Evert. I just finished Matt Fradd's book Delivered: True stories of Porn to Purity.

 

Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (8 spots open)

You actually were talking about that 'way to purity ' book. Is reading it worthwhile ?

Concerning the popes: if a man was significantly saint, then it doesn't make any difference, if he was announced canonised, or not imo

 

Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (8 spots open)

Delivered is easy to get on e-book and is good if you like success stories. Each one is unique the ways they get into porn and out of it are interesting. There are some helpful strategies along the way but the real meat is in the back with in-depth references for further reading, scripture/saint quote memorizations, etc. I plan on visiting the referenced websites and checking out the books. I have a thread about it here:
http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic=18803.0

Regarding saints, what you stated is essentially the Catholic teaching. The Church has canonizations to proclain to the world that a particular saint is actually a saint (i.e. in Heaven evidenced by a holy life, martyrdom, and/or investigated miracles) and is worthy of following.

Whelp, I just logged in to reset my counter. Not going to help my stats. Relapsed on soft pics which may or may not be progress: no vids, not explicit. It was a rough night, I'm not on my schedule due to finishing up a few tasks, and I let my guard down. To prevent this in the future, I'm going to go to sleep and wake up with my reading and prayer. Lately I've slacked on this area. Gospel reading, Jesus of Nazareth by Benedict XVI, Imitation of Christ.

 

Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (8 spots open)

Glad to hear from people.

Thanks for you story PorNO. It seems really rough for you; keep going and be really cautious of thoughts.

So wheres your story goingforward?

I have been doing well over all. Actually feel like i have been improving these last 7 days. I thought of a new strategy and you should look at my jounal entry today if you feel like it. Busy tho, praying for you guys!

 

Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (8 spots open)

excuse me lads i haven't posted my story yet, i didn't have time; so i'm doing it now

i am 19 years old, virgin, never had a girlfriend ( but i'm not very worried with that)

i always had one from the best grades in my school; i like to study, and i think i was fleeing from the real-life issues by putting all my energy in solving 'theoretical' problems


that's my pmo story in three stages:

1. 2005-2009

i m'd first time when was 9 or 10 y.o; at that time i wasn't doing it frequently; although i liked to film myself m'ing ;ooo i know, sounds weird xd

i saw porn for the first time when i have been on first year of junior secondary school; i also had first ejaculation round that

then i saw a television talk where someone was saying that pornography is harmful and masturbation is sinful and energy draining..

2. 2009-2011

meanwhile i wasn't watching porn at all and maturbating very rarely (i had only a few orgasms in these three years)

3. 2012-now

i began m'ing again at the beginning of 2012; in few months it escalated to nearly every single day

i came back to porn 100% by accident: i saw a semi-pornographic gif on the image website, looked at comments, began browsing and got through a porn tube

at the beginning of 2013 i began my first 'reboot'. obviously it ended after two weeks and i kept watching porn regularly

second reboot: may-october 2013 - it began from 5 days no orgasm; the best i reached that time were 19 days without orgasm

third reboot: december 2013-now - i am on my longest no porn streak since rebooting (27 days, six hours and i'll be having 28); at this moment i think i am not going to watch porn anymore; although i can't stop masturbating


i think that's all concerning pmo... but recently i am getting more and more convinced that pmo ain't a big problem in my life

the whole 'fight pmo' issue was only distracting me from more serious things like: internet addiction, social awkwardness, lack of assertiveness, procrastination


btw: i have also written my story at the op of my journal; i don't remember if it's similar to one here, but if you want, you may read it too

 

Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (8 spots open)

GoingForward,
I agree P is not the biggest issue in your life if you are anything like me, but I know it's a destructive force. Becoming a better, more complete person is the goal, not just abstaining from P. If you buy too strongly into the idea P isn't the issue, you may add years to your recovery. I speak from experience on that one.
___________

Things seem to be trending in the right direction for me. P does not have the daily pull it used to, but I still have urges that take me down. I'm really shaken when I look at P now, because the shell is gone, so it's shocking and sickening again afterwards. I hope to get it out of my life some day, but I will take solace in the little progress I have had lately and hope to keep becoming a better person.

 

Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (8 spots open)

This may seem strange but bear with me...

Ask yourselves honestly: do you truly BELIEVE that pornography and PMO will really destroy your relationships? Your marriage? Your relationship with friends? With God? With business partners?

How or how not?

 

Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (8 spots open)

Good job guys!

thanks for replying and updating PorNo and goingforward.

obviously ppl will answer differently but it is truly diferent for everyone.

I do not believe that it could destroy anything today, but if i let it, i do believe that it, as a sin of lust, self worhsip, and seclusion, could destroy my relationships.

destroy is a harsh word tho. It would alter some and halt others. My relationship with God can not ever be destroyed, my relationships with family and freinds can only halt; relationships linger for as long as you can remember them.

destroy as in crumble, cease, or end? possibly some day for me. definitely soon for others

 

Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (8 spots open)

I mean destroy as in any of those methods: crumble, end, die. My point is--and I have witnessed first hand--that virtually every relationship has a fatal flaw or combination of factors that can break it down so bad that it doesn't recover. (Even between God and Job, the pain and the loss still took place, though life continued on and we have no idea if Job ever got to see the big picture of why it all happened to him. We don't even know fully why it all happened.)

Well before I was married I heard a young pastor say pornography would "destroy your marriage." And I think that is true. It is not the sole cause, but it infects so many portions of your being and opens so many doors to pain and idolatry that it really can separate one from another significant individual, or from God.

I'm not saying healing can't happen, and destroyed temples can't be rebuilt, but too many people (even Christian ones) have no freaking clue how detrimental and powerfully awful this stuff is. You think it's hard to quit and resist temptation now, wait until the rug really gets pulled out from under your feet and your family falls apart. You can't stop it from happening past a certain point.

I'm not being a downer--I'm keeping it real. Face your temptation like that. Not like, "Well, one day I'll be stronger. This will be hard to be forgiven from." Rather it should be like, "One day this will kill me, and I will get weaker to resist it as time goes by." I think it helps to approach it soberly and rationally too, because beating up on ourselves does not help us and does not make us stronger to resist.

 

Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (8 spots open)

okay, but what if i dont watch porn, but only masturbate?

 

Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (8 spots open)

Lot's of people on the forum say M without P is fine. I think it's also very destructive and get's in the way of a better life. It's up to you, but I can't help thinking it's kind of like an alcoholic dropping liquor but sticking with wine and beer. You will find lot's of people who think the point of this all is to cure a physical malady.

I think Maloo does a great job of never lying to himself about the consequences of PMO. Read his powerful short posts above. I don't think it's wise to ignore advice from someone further down the path than we are, especially when it rings true.

Until you buy into it like that you will never be able to beat the addiction. If you are not there today, no biggie. It took me some time to buy into it, but it seems to have been a very important and helpful step to me in my recovery.

 

Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (8 spots open)

Good points Maloo. Anything can take a person down although PMO seems to be a rather potent downfall for (a growing number of) men. We don't deal with it tomorrow, next year, "when we're better". The battle is now and we're in it.

goingforward, your progress on P is outstanding but you seem to struggle more with M. That's the opposite for me. M still releases the chemicals in your brain and binding you to whatever you're imagining at the time. You may have a more active imagination than me where you don't need P as much. The process though is still very similar. Try using your imagination in another way: reading fiction, movies, games, or social interaction. It sounds like M is your next battle.

 

Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (8 spots open)

i see we are in a similar position

i have also managed not to binge on masturbation but haven't to make a long streak

i really wish i unleashed some of my creativity; maybe i'll do it after my exams..

 

Re: Men of Steel 2.0 [GROUP] (8 spots open)

dang exams...i cant promise being back on the next couple weeks. I am sorta behind already but i know i can get through it.

good thoughts about Porn and M. I am always confused because i dont look at porn and i dont imagine anything so i dont know what M means for me.