Men of Steel [GROUP]

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by freisein, Jun 12, 2013.

  1. Yeah, I'm excited for them. I used to be a part of small groups back home and they were amazing.

    Last night I had some of the worst urges to masturbate since I started NPMO. It was a battle, but I kept reminding myself that it's not worth it; I also told myself how happy my future self would be if I refused to give in, and conversely, I imagined how disappointed I would be with myself if I relapsed. Glad to say that I won the battle and I'm on my way to 7 weeks.

    How's everybody else? This group died down a lot.
  2. totallyyours

    totallyyours Loyalty, honor, and a willing heart

    Nice work IS. You're on a roll, keep the "novelty" up of living life, loving others, and doing new things. PMO will seem like a waste compared to it.

    I've been stuck in a rut lately due to some fairly innocent stuff online. Sometimes it's news sites or sports sites with the inevitable side pic and link to something racy. My curiosity wins. So, I'm reducing internet time while trying to read, watch, and listen to fulfilling things online, in books, or via downloads/mp3. Once I let my guard down, get bored, or waste time I'm susceptible again.

    Still reading my daily quotes/passages, motivation reinforcement, and daily Mass readings. I journal when I can and try to get outside more. Kids can make you tired, but all I need is a little motivation and I can move to something else or start a task I don't want to do. Just need that spark and things start rolling.

    Prayers for you.
  3. I agree with the spark of motivation. It's getting difficult to be motivated to do homework and study in college, but all it usually takes is a little bit of music to start off the chain of homework-doing. Also, I notice that there are moments in life where I feel extremely productive, so I try to make the most of that. Sometimes it's better to rest when you need rest and to work when you feel productive. A lot of the time we follow the other way around.

    Yes, PMO does seem like a waste now. Thinking back at how much time I wasted during my high school years shocks me. I also got involved in the rowing team here at college so now I have some extracurricular activities going on to help out. I'm just focused on healthy stress-relief, such as dancing, working out, rowing, etc. I don't watch TV here and I try to limit my time on the internet. After that, there's not many instances of temptations (because we all know how tempting some commercials on TV can be). I realize that while temptation is everywhere, we can at least cut it down by a significant amount.

    Totallyyours, I'd recommend checking out iTunes University: there's a lot of free courses on there available for MP3 download. I had been listening to a Philosophy course this summer, and it's really intriguing. Or, TedTalks is also full of videos of speakers that have interesting things to discuss. I wish you the best with your efforts in switching to more fulfilling things, and you also will be in my prayers.
  4. totallyyours

    totallyyours Loyalty, honor, and a willing heart

    Thanks IS. I have Android but will see if I can download and transfer. I have the FOCUS Equip app for my phone with lots of free talks: audio or video. I'm also a member for mp3 of the month club at Lighthouse Catholic Media and I get a free download. I have a ton of CDs from them with excellent theologians and speakers that I just rotate the mp3s in my phone and relisten to them: I never learn anything completely plus I'm forgetful and need reminders!

    Trying to read 5 pages a day (minimum) and 15-30 min maximum. I've heard an average person can read one book per week if they did not watch TV!
  5. totallyyours

    totallyyours Loyalty, honor, and a willing heart

    Been so swamped lately, haven't had time to think about PMO. Been nice, exhausting, but I'm concerned about when things slow down probably tomorrow. Trying to plan ahead and get back on prayer, reading, work schedule. Pray for me!

    Have a great week. There's a world to conquer.
  6. Relapsed this morning. No porn, but MO. My dreams definitely contributed to it, but I have no excuse. I'm so mad that I have to reset: it wasn't even worth it (it didn't even feel good). Well, I must learn how to take precautions against that. Not happy at all though. I'll try not to let it affect me, and I'll definitely avoid any binges. Day 0, but I will get into the triple digits!
  7. totallyyours

    totallyyours Loyalty, honor, and a willing heart

    Hey IS,
    Totally know the feeling. At some point I'm thinking "This is not fun at all. Why am I doing this?" and still get sucked in. On the bright side, you're reminded that we basically set out counters to 0 everyday because each day, hour, minute is a new battle to become a better version of ourselves.

    We build on our successes, which you have many, but all we have is right now. Let the fog pass, detox, get some good influence and get back on the battle field. The Evil One would love for you to sit out a few hours or days longer before getting back to your life with Christ! Shove it back in his face!

    Enjoy the adventure.
  8. totallyyours

    totallyyours Loyalty, honor, and a willing heart

    Hey guys, definitely stuck in a rut the past few days. Could use your prayers. Back to the drawing board and what works.

    (Edit): Also, I moved my computer around for more accountability to those walking by. I have a hole of an office in the back so it's tricky. Getting motivated, remembering the hope when I easily forget.
  9. Totallyyours, I'll keep you in my prayers. Get back to the battlefield with a stronger desire to succeed! Try to spend your time with God and keep Him in your thoughts. My cousin told me, regarding my rut, “sometimes the Lord puts us through a trial, brings us to a place where He isn’t shining very brightly. In those times he desires for us to seek Him and know Him more than ever. He will give you power to stand up and shine for him. Shine until that cloud of darkness ceases to engulf you. And by your actions, others will also leave that cloud of darkness.”
    We can totally do this, and as long as we're doing it for God, He will use our efforts to make great changes in us.

    I had a revolutionary church service at a new Christian community I have been attending on Tuesday nights. This was my story:

    The last, oh, I don’t know, all of college has been pretty rough. Lots of stress, lots of work, extremely busy schedule, nostalgia, and disconnection with God. Not fun, especially since I had my predetermined views of what college would be like. I had been feeling like I was just going through the motions – not working for anything, not passionate toward anything – almost as if my worth peaked during senior year. Basically, I had been feeling very unusual, especially in my relationship with God.

    I texted my old friends and told them of my dilemma; Garrett told me to “just do something,” in the context that I only needed to seek God and put him first and not “worry about what the next move is.” Connor said that “sometimes the Lord puts us through a trial, brings us to a place where He isn’t shining very brightly. In those times he desires for us to seek Him and know Him more than ever. He will give you power to stand up and shine for him. Shine until that cloud of darkness ceases to engulf you. And by your actions, others will also leave that cloud of darkness.” Those words helped a lot. Today, I went to the Chi Alpha service. I must say beforehand that it was the most powerful service I have been to.

    At first, a graduate named Michelle came up to speak of her experience. She had been in a long inner struggle in choosing what her future would be like: should she open up an art gallery like she has always wanted, should she spend a year in South America to be a missionary, or should she follow the tug on her heart to go to India? Long story short, she ended up turning to God and asking for signs and for His will to be done. One quote of hers was, “God has bigger plans for me than an art gallery. He has bigger plans for me than a comfortable life in America.” It really got to me. I had been feeling that senior year was my peak in a relationship with God, and that once I got to college, amongst all the guidance that He had given me, I had been dropped off and forgotten. I felt alone.

    So next, we dedicated quite a long time solely to praying to God and with each other, asking God for what we need and for him to show us His will for our lives at the moment. I sat there, telling Him that I needed to know what his plans were for me right now because I felt as if there were no more plans for me. I told him that if now wasn’t the right time for a revelation of plans, then I would be content to know that I’m at least on His intended path for me. I confessed that I was alone. As I sat there praying, saying “I’m alone, I’m so alone here,” I broke down and started to cry. I realized how broken I was and how badly I needed God. I was tired of my lifeless religion, and I knew that I had to come back to God. I went to pray with Michelle, and topics were amongst me knowing that God will always be with me, that He does have His own plans for me, that He loves me, and if I come to Him, He will be the perfect father that He is and comfort me. I no longer felt alone. I went back to my chair and got on my knees to say, “Lord, I want to declare to you now my total need for you. I need you so badly. And I also want to affirm to you that I will give up every plan I have for myself to follow whatever plans you have for me. Let your will be done, and not that of myself.”

    After that, I felt free – free in the sense that I was no longer alone and weighed down by the stress and burdens of the world. My total committal to God helps me look forward to the future for opportunities to be the mechanism through which He works his miracles. I want to join Him in His quest for the people of the world. These past few months have been rough, and I never thought I’d be able to get out of the rut I had dug myself into. However, today marks my coming back to God.


    Sometimes it takes a breakdown to initiate a buildup.
  10. totallyyours

    totallyyours Loyalty, honor, and a willing heart

    Reset my counter due to peaking. But didn't fall!

    Hey IS,

    Thanks for the motivation and your cousin has some wise words. Truly faith does shine the brightest in darkness. Even Mother Teresa as one of the greatest saints of our age had many years of dark nights. He gives the strong more challenges.

    I'm glad you had a great prayer experience. College is a time of many changes and learning how transition your life to a new stage. It's not easy and we're never fully there (if we think we are, we've just become complacent in life). But you're learning that your home is wherever God takes you. Now will be the time where you make your faith your own. The truth is, you're never alone, and the more we realize that, the better we can cooperate with the grace God gives us.

    Make friends wherever you go. They are your family now, and need Christian charity from us.

    Drive on.
  11. I'm falling into a hole again! 7 of the last 17 days have been a masturbatory fail for me and I can't let myself fall back into this. No pornography is going well, but the masturbation is killing me. I guess I need to shield myself from real-life temptations and also refuse to entertain my imagination. I have to do this.
  12. totallyyours

    totallyyours Loyalty, honor, and a willing heart

    Hey IS, I know this is really difficult for college students but do you have a good daily routine? Reading, prayer, exercise, study, groups, social, etc.? Without much structure it's easy to get pushed around.

    Go back to what you did with porn: let the chemicals from masturbation get out of the brain and replace them with positive activities. Pray will be essential: structured, at a set time, set place, set routine everyday, e.g.: gratitude, petition, praise, psalms, prayer books, etc.

    Keep going! If it's difficult, you know you're on the right path: "The world offers you comfort but you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness!" - Pope Benedict XVI
  13. totallyyours

    totallyyours Loyalty, honor, and a willing heart

    I'm about to pass my streak for the past couple weeks. Not great I know but still an accomplishment for a rough few weeks. Excited and sticking with the program: schedule, prayer, exercise, to-do list, more prayer!

    Drive on.
  14. Nice work totallyyours! It's awesome to see that you're excited about a life for God.

    I have been seeing the great affects of living my life for God. I have been reading the Bible more frequently, praying, getting involved with church, and recently, deciding to lead my own small groups here in the dorms. And if I'm trying to live for God, I can't let the PMO thing slide. It has to end. Also, I'm going celibate for now, praying to God that if I do meet the right girl, that He will give me an unmistakable sign that she's the one. It's exciting for me now because I realize how much my lifestyle has changed. I have new goals, much bigger goals. It has shown me that God has so much more planned for each of us than we could ever realize.
  15. Brunevii

    Brunevii Something I try to teach all my boys..

    Guys, I don't think steel is a very christian material.

    When the Bible was written, steel was not yet in wide use. Also, around that time, if it was steel, it was likely an instrument of war, of killing and murder.

    What about some rock metaphor? You know Saint Peter actually meants Saint Rock. Petra is rock in Greek, that's why oil has been also called petroleum - rock oil.
  16. totallyyours

    totallyyours Loyalty, honor, and a willing heart

    Good suggestion Brunevii. Got any rock names? Two problems though:

    1. I haven't seen freisein around lately and he started the thread therefore has control.
    2. The name refers to Proverbs 27:17: as iron (or steel) sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

    3. Superman is cool (and a somewhat imperfect image of Christ).

    I love St. Peter and he's my confirmation name. Anyone else want to change the name?
  17. I'm okay with it. But I also want to say that I'll be quitting this entire website forum for a while to keep my mind off it all. I'm going to start focusing more on God instead of NPMO.
  18. totallyyours

    totallyyours Loyalty, honor, and a willing heart

    Good call IS. I'm reminded of:

  19. totallyyours

    totallyyours Loyalty, honor, and a willing heart

  20. Alright, I'm back. I need to be. I have messed up so badly recently that I need prayer and some real advice for this specific situation. Now, I had been over 100 days free on pornography, and all of a sudden I started getting huge cravings to watch it. I resisted at first (even though I had been masturbating a lot at the time) but then I gave in on Sunday night. Binged. Stayed up late on a school night, roommate asleep. Totally screwed up. I went to bed hating myself, I woke up hating myself, and for most of the day everything seemed to be going the worst way possible. I truly believed that everything bad that happened to me that day was 100% my fault and because of my total mistake. My bike broke that night. I'm pretty sure I relapsed a lot that day. It's Thursday now, and yesterday and today I have been binging on pornography. Over and over. I'm truly addicted. I keep telling myself I'll stop, but I seem to have no willpower whatsoever to stop myself. It's like I don't care.

    The worst part is that this has been completely messing up my relationship with God. I feel so distant now, like I can't talk to Him because of how messed up I am. I don't know where this all came from: I thought I was doing good, living my life for God, and things were going well because of that. Then this. If I don't stop now, I will end up in a deep hole that will take months to get out of. And I can't sacrifice that amount of time. I have things to do and I can't let all this get in the way. I just don't know how to stop.

    I want to get back to how things were before all this.

Share This Page