Men of Steel [GROUP]

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by freisein, Jun 12, 2013.

  1. freisein

    freisein New Member

    We Christians share some specific view on this problem so this group may benefit us. We can find better mutual understanding and support here.
  2. totallyyours

    totallyyours Loyalty, honor, and a willing heart

    Re: Christian rebooters [GROUP]: 9 spots left

    Men of Steel

    "Iron is sharpened by iron;
    one person sharpens another."
    - Proverbs 27:17

    Sign me up.

    We're on a new frontier with these groups. I may bump the thread in other forums to draw more members.
  3. totallyyours

    totallyyours Loyalty, honor, and a willing heart

    Re: Christian rebooters [GROUP]: 9 spots left

    Well you guys let me down! :mad: Not really, I let you down :'(. Reset my counter. Oddly enough it was through my phone this time. I didn't get into my routine of prayer or checking my to do list, didn't even workout. I snapped out of some temptations and cravings today and yesterday but it kept pulling in me in. If you give an inch it takes a mile.

    I have a nice filter combo on my computer but nothing that great for my phone. I enabled safe search but it's easily disabled. I know it's not the solution but the extra barrier helps. I'll keep looking. Meanwhile, back to my routine of feeding the right wolf.

    It's a bad way to start off the group I know, and I apologize. You can check my journal for more, but I'm Catholic, 28, married, small kids, got addicted around 11 by finding a magazine, no one offered any helpful instruction on my sexuality and the meaning of life until later. The Church had the answers for 2,000 years but I had to stumble upon it. My parents didn't know better and grew up in a different age (the one that said PMO was good).

    Anyways, I've been trying to dive into Theology of the Body and the meanings of love and lust as taught by John Paul II, Benedict XVI, the saints, and now Pope Francis. I love this forum because it's filled with men who have seen the evil and know what it can do.

    Most of the members may not be religious but we have much in common through our struggle for love and virtue in a fallen world. I think these small groups will further expand the effectiveness of this site.

    Praying for you all.
  4. DCfapstronaut

    DCfapstronaut New Member

    Re: Christian rebooters [GROUP]: 8 spots left

    I would love to join you guys. I'm 23, and I've been addicted to PMO since 19. Thanks for the prayers, totallyyours! When we beat this thing, it will only be because of God's grace.
  5. totallyyours

    totallyyours Loyalty, honor, and a willing heart

    Re: Christian rebooters [GROUP]: 8 spots left

    Hey DC!

    Welcome to the club. We need a whole lot of grace here! "where sin increased, grace overflowed all the more" (Rom 5:20) We're on the frontlines so God will provide extra help.

    Let us know if you have any ideas for the group. I PM'd freisein with some suggestions, rules, and name ideas.

    Have a great Tuesday, stay with your routine, and give of yourself to others. A healthy understanding of giving may be the greatest weapon.
  6. puff17

    puff17 New Member

    Re: Christian rebooters [GROUP]: 8 spots left

    Was hoping to join the group relapsed again on day 40 which sucks. Tired of mucking up and would love to be held accountable by others as I keep this addiction to my self. Was hoping I could pass a password to one of u, to prevent me using the internet app on my smart phone.
  7. DCfapstronaut

    DCfapstronaut New Member

    Re: Christian rebooters [GROUP]: 8 spots left

    Thanks, totallyyours. Unfortunately, I blew it today. I should have taken your advice! It's very frustrating that I fell short of my previous best streak of sixteen days -- today was day sixteen. I was depressed and angry and tempted all day, probably from withdrawal. I had the day off from work because of the rain and spent a lot of it pushing the limits of my filter. It doesn't stop everything, unfortunately. I just liked the proximity to the pornography. I knew this was incredibly stupid, but I did it anyway. Although I left the apartment for a good chunk of the day to get some things done, I gave in at night after I came back. Driving home, I knew I should resolve simply not to use my computer for the rest of the night, but I though I might want it to look up some GRE vocabulary words! What a deception. After PMOing, I did look up a word I encountered today that I didn't know: chicanery. It means deception through the manipulation of language; sophistry. This was a terrible trade.

    It was a horrible day, but I actually miss all the emotions I felt today. They seem kind of heroic. I've numbed myself out and withdrawn from the world by zoning out in front of the mesmerizing pixels for hours tonight.

    I don't feel horrible now, but tomorrow I'll be depressed or numb. Fortunately, there is a church nearby that has Wednesday morning confession. That always helps a lot. The worst is being in this state and having to wait days to regain that friendship with God.

    Welcome, puff! Congratulations on reaching forty days! You'll have to tell me how you made it so long. I'd be happy to hold onto a password for you.
  8. totallyyours

    totallyyours Loyalty, honor, and a willing heart

    Re: Christian rebooters [GROUP]: 8 spots left

    Hey Puff,
    Welcome to the fellowship! Feel free to make suggestions as we get this thing rolling. You can PM me or any one of our group members with passwords. What do you use on your phone? I started using Chrome because it syncs with my desktop for some accountability. However it does not filter. Just trying to get away from technology for now.

    The worst thing we can do after falling is despair! It's like laying down your sword on a battlefield while a war rages around you! Let's retreat a little bit to analyze how we fell, adjust what we can, feed the good side with something positive, make a resolve, and get back to living life to the fullest!

    I too am looking forward to confession on Monday but we can start our repentance now. Do a nightly examination of conscience, ask for forgiveness for the day and the grace to do better tomorrow. Like the prodigal son, we just have to turn around and the father comes running to us. We need the grace of confession and the sacraments, but unite yourself to God, his Divine Mercy, and His Sacred Heart now, right now, and begin the journey to him!

    Be thankful that you did not fall deeper into the fog. Remind yourself that you're bored with and tired of the lies.

    Every day, every minute is a new battle that we have to engage. Don't let yesterday defeat you today!
  9. totallyyours

    totallyyours Loyalty, honor, and a willing heart

    Re: Christian rebooters [GROUP]: 8 spots left

    I reset my counter and here's why: I'm now interpreting PMO as P OR M. Sorry if you understood this from the beginning but I cheated myself to thinking it only meant P, M, and O together. I know I could get additional counters but I think this interpretation is the simplest solution for me.

    Praying for you, please pray for me. Be patient with your trials since our lives are so short.
  10. freisein

    freisein New Member

    Re: Christian rebooters [GROUP]: 8 spots left

    Hi guys and welcome to this group. English is not my native language, I am from central Europe so maybe it will be difficult to understand sometimes :D

    First of all I would like to discuss some religion differences. I am conservative protestant, some of you are catholic and maybe some charismatics. Our opinions about basic doctrines of faith are different but it doesn't matter in the goal oriented group like this. I think we have common interest and this interest is to remove porn from our life.

    Please consider some basic rules for this group and we can vote later about them. My suggestions are:

    1.Porn is considered as a sin in the eyes of GOD
    2.Prayer for other members means asking only God(trinity) directly in the language you can understand (no mediators, no tongues) - this is only form of prayer accepted in whole Christianity.
    3.We share 66 Bible books considered as a word of God. (some denominations have apocrypha books, some book of Mormon or some other prophetic book considered as a word of God).
    4.This group is not a place for religion discussion about different doctrines of each church.

    This is my suggestions for basic rules, please add yours. After basic rules we can discuss name of the group and some more advanced rules.
  11. totallyyours

    totallyyours Loyalty, honor, and a willing heart

    Re: Christian rebooters [GROUP]: 6 spots left

    Hey freisein, these rules are a great start and I can see the challenges of uniting different denominational beliefs. Since you started the group, I will submit to your decisions but I offer the following suggestions with the hopes of not excluding Christians or non-Christians. Feel free to revise, combine, or utilize my and other's suggestions

    This group is open to all people regardless of faith or creed. Group members shall comply with the general group rules listed here:

    1. Pornography and masturbation (P&M) are failures of human love and therefore sins against God and man.
    "Everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart." - Mt 5:28

    2. The purpose of this small group is to grow relationships for the purpose of combating P&M in our personal lives. Members will not divide each other by doctrines or belief traditions but are encouraged to draw upon their personal experiences to unite against P&M while discovering authentic human love.

    3. We pray for each other according to our faith tradition.
    "First of all, then, I ask that supplications, prayers, petitions, and thanksgivings be offered for everyone.." - 1 Tim 2:1

    (3. Don't see defining the Bible as necessary in the group rules but if you wish)

    4. Members must post a minimum of once per week to facilitate group connectedness. Members should try to avoid posting more than 10 times per week in order to lead a life of reduced media consumption.

    5. Members should post with brief personal updates, encouragement, and suggestions for other members and themselves. Lengthy posts and reflections should be left for individual journals or appropriate threads.

    6. When one member relapses (e.g. resets their counter or states so to the group), all members must individually engage in a positive activity that each member defines for themselves. Examples could be: 50 push ups, a specific set of prayers, fasting, etc. Members are encouraged to define their activity for the group.

    7. At the first of each month, all members' PMO counter days will be combined for a group total. This may be used in competitions with other groups but is mainly to motivate and show the strength of the group.

    Whenever we revise the rules, I recommend we state them in the first post of this thread.

    Name ideas:

    Great Lovers (Modified from "Good Lovers")
    (Greater love has no man than this: that a man lay down his life for his friends. - John 15:13)

    Full Armor
    (Ephesians 6:11 and following. What is your armor?)

    Men of Steel
    (As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. - Prov 27:17)

    Hungry Hearts
    (Springsteen and Psalm 107:9: for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.)
  12. puff17

    puff17 New Member

    Re: Christian rebooters [GROUP]: 6 spots left

    @totallyyours was using funamo on my smartphone but prefer k9 internet web protection but wasn't compatible with the device. If you don't need to surf the web on your mobile and already have all the apps you like that require the internet blocking playstore, all your browsers works quite well.

    I agree with all the rules seems like they will strengthen the groups bonds giving us another reason to not PMO as we won't wont to let ourselves and eachother down. Already quite active but haven't been to big on fasting and think it would provide a great challenge as the positive activity that I will do when people relapse. As I need energy for sports on the weekend im planning on doing it sunday after mass. I'm thinking 2 days per relapse as this will be a challenge and strengthern my willpower and resolve.

    my favourite names that totallyyours suggested are

    Men of Steel (As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. - Prov 27:17)

    Hungry Hearts (Springsteen and Psalm 107:9: for he satisfies the thirsty and fills the hungry with good things.
  13. digitalzone

    digitalzone Guest

    Re: Christian rebooters [GROUP]: 6 spots left

    Sign me up also ;)
  14. perasaafi

    perasaafi New Member

    Re: Christian rebooters [GROUP]: 6 spots left

    I'm not a Christian but I believe in God and Jesus christ. Can I join your group?
  15. totallyyours

    totallyyours Loyalty, honor, and a willing heart

    Re: Christian rebooters [GROUP]: 6 spots left

    Hey DZ and neoman! How are you guys? Neoman I don't see why not but I leave all final decisions to freisein. Thanks for helping out my quotes thread.
  16. totallyyours

    totallyyours Loyalty, honor, and a willing heart

    Re: Christian rebooters [GROUP]: 6 spots left

    Sorry for the late notification but I reset about three days ago. I'm doing 50 push ups (not as easy as it used to be) for myself and this will be my activity for every other member's reset. While I'm pushing ground, I'll contemplate what true love is and how I express it in my thoughts and actions.

    Without the gory details, I was off my routine, off my prayer schedule, unproductive, and was easily sucked in. I didn't really want it at first, but like a habit, I tried to convince myself that I did because I was used to it. Time for some new habits. I'm trying to replace the self-medication with reading, prayer, meditation, and brief workouts.

    Have a great week.
  17. S.G.1977

    S.G.1977 "Seeing is believing."

    Re: Christian rebooters [GROUP]: 6 spots left

    Can I join this group?
  18. freisein

    freisein New Member

    Re: Christian rebooters [GROUP]: 6 spots left

    Hi all,

    all new applications are accepted :) If you have any suggestions how should this group work, please post them. Next week we can vote about some rules in this group.

    I spend some time with my girlfriend this week so that days were easy. This even help my procrastination because she is very active and she always want to do something useful with me.

    But yesterday I masturbated :( I think porn is no longer my problem. Fapping has to go.
  19. totallyyours

    totallyyours Loyalty, honor, and a willing heart

    Re: Christian rebooters [GROUP]: 3 spots left

    Welcome SG, how are you? We have the same counter idea of beating our previous best goal.

    Thanks freisein,
    Glad you had quality time with your girlfriend. I too have been busy with my family, doing home improvements, cleaning, yard/garden work, etc. I love putting my mind and body to work and my family help me do it.

    I've kept a decent routine of prayer, exercise, and productivity but it could be better. I'm trying to reduce the media consumption in my house (TV and smartphone) but doing more chores and fun activities. We also have a lot of creative ideas we've been sitting on that need to activated!

    FYI, did my 50 push-up penance. It sucked.

    Keep up the good work guys! If the rules are amended, we could possibly have our first group count of PMO-free days on July 1. Finish strong!
  20. expatkiwi

    expatkiwi New Member

    Re: Christian rebooters [GROUP]: 3 spots left

    Hi All,

    Accountability is a key requirement for me as is a caring as well as a supportive network of men and it is for this reason I have joined this forum. Being a Christian I would love to join this group.

    Married for 14 years this year and with a baby on the way (late starter) it is time to break this addiction. I am unsure of others and their experiences, but the last 12 months has seen a transition from using porn sites, to using more chat rooms.

    I will also start a journal - although I think this will be offline - part of my problem stems from my addiction to being online and on my laptop.

    I'll do my best to post at least once a week, but from next Monday am away for a month and there is very limited internet access where I am going so accept my apologies if my posts drop off a bit in July.


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