I felt inspired to write up this reflection. I finally have to admit that after years of trying not to masturbate, I am absolutely addicted. This has undermined my entire life because I was running away from reality. Let me illustrate with an abbreviated story from my teens. I was a daily MO'er, and I had a beautiful girl as an acquaintance. I was the classic nice guy who bought her anything she wanted, took her places, took her to dinner etc. I did this for 9 months. BTW, my best friend and I fought over this girl and it caused us to not be friends for years. I never made a sexual move on this girl. After months of this I found out that she slept with a guy who never did anything for her. Analyzing why I was angry about this, I realized that deep down maybe I'm angry at myself. I wanted to be able to have a short term high with the MO every night, and I also wanted to have amazing sex with this girl. The fact of the matter is I couldn't have both. It took me decades to understand this. This is just one of dozens of stories that lead me to believe the masturbation can really undermine your life. It's interesting that teaching from old religions such as fasting and not masturbating that were discarded so easily in the last 100 years may be the truest truths we have... What I've learned in a very painful way is that all the self improvement in the world, and all the outwardly success means nothing as long as the MO addiction is present. I hope this inspires at least one person to put killing the MO habit at the top of their list.