Married, new here but very old user.

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by Wolf333, Apr 11, 2021.

  1. Wolf333

    Wolf333 Member

    Midnight, day 21 starting, can't sleep, big urge and came to write here. The thing is to get the mind off the urge no matter how many times it asks to do it, it'll only ask for a while. Mine at least. I'll try to sleep, try to meditate just letting the urge pass so I can go.

    On the bright side, it really works. I feel far more sharp, and have more energy. Really looking forward to achieve a 100 days on my first try though sometimes I feel I should've chosen 50! Haha kidding 8| It is not only addiction but willpower and mind control which are in game.

    I think I'm good now. It would be nice to know if someone is reading.

    We can do it!
  2. Wolf333

    Wolf333 Member

    After another abuse of my family, I just took the very hard decisions of quitting my job. I am depressed and having a bad time, think of pmo all the time. Not really an urge as such but as an escape. I hate being this depressed, I want to die as I write. I wish I never felt this way again, not now that I have a child. That makes me feel even worse than ever. So I am really having a very hard time guys, if anyone is reading some cheering would really help. I chose a wolf because I have always felt lonely. I love my wife and child deeply but I can't help feeling like this, I don't want them to see me like this any more.

    On the other hand, 1/4 of my goal today is something to be proud of, at least for me I think. This is day 25. I can't remember not mo for two days, I don't think I ever did for three days in a row. Never tried consciously before so I can't tell. This goal, this persistence and writing here is giving me strength. I have something to achieve for myself and that feels wonderful and keeps me together. Like MO, it is something I have available, it is a gift. So i thought I would just come by to say what I am feeling because I can't think of anything else. Next time, I want to be able to be able to do a journal, I havent been able to be persistent with myself, for me, and I think it would help me very much.

    Thanks for reading.

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