Went to the therapist today. He is one of the best I think. Saw in the past 3 therapist and none of them came to the core of my problems. He saw it after a hour of talking. Damn. It is going to be a long journey! But I am positive. He says I am a junk. Not on drugs but on women, porn and thrillseeking. So I think he is right. But he also says if we really want a healthy grown up life if you really want it you can get it! So there is my hope! The marriage is an other thing. Oeff she’s talking with other women that happens the same with. And one says run now you still can! So she shared that with me! That hurt a lot. Because my mindset is when you want something you can get it! Work hard and you will get an reward! So I am mad now! I just want to run! Say to the wife fuq you and you’re friends or what ever! Get the fuq out and find you’re self a new men! But I won’t because in the end I love her and she is my wife for life! No urge what so ever! This morning yes but now I am just mad! God bless! Be strong!