Married but celibate

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by TheNightfly, May 14, 2019.

  1. positivef

    positivef Active Member

  2. TheNightfly

    TheNightfly Active Member

    I know my physical health has been going in the shitter. And I think about that a lot


    • reported greater depressive symptoms, poorer quality of life, more mental- and physical-health diminished days, and lower health status.”
     
    Last edited: Aug 7, 2020
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  3. TheNightfly

    TheNightfly Active Member

    The family and I are up in the NC Mountains. Beds are small so I get my own. I like that. Was not really thinking of porn. The internet is shit anyways. I have to drop a ton of weight, like yesterday. Hopefully staying focused on something else can get me on track.
     
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  4. TheNightfly

    TheNightfly Active Member

    Tired of being tired all the time really. Not enjoying life. I did enjoy just being physically close to my wife and wish we could kind of cuddle and fall asleep together. Guys in jail get more intimacy than me. Anyways I am excited to get my C Pap mchine tomorrow. I hope it works wonders! I need more energy!
     
  5. nuclpow

    nuclpow Well-Known Member

    I'd like to see you develop your relationship with your wife and have regular love-making with her. Do you think there's anything you can do to work on that?

    Your self-esteem is very low, too, it seems to me. And I think you're discouraged. I guess you can try prayer.

    Have you ever made a life plan to help you quit porn?

    Edit: Here's a website that links to support websites for people who have had brain tumours, which might have been you: https://braintumor.org/brain-tumor-information/finding-support-coping/
     
  6. TheNightfly

    TheNightfly Active Member

    I feel like I want to be closer to my wife. I just don’t entertain any thought of looking. Flood gates would open. I should have low self esteem. I do not feel people should fool themselves into a high self esteem if they are not reaching any dream or goal. I think people are delusional that that do that. I’ll check out that site
     
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  7. positivef

    positivef Active Member

    It's a balance with self esteem. Not so low that you can't operate, but not so high you are delusional. If you are working toward a goal, be grateful for small steps.
     
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2020
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  8. TheNightfly

    TheNightfly Active Member

    I have been clean for a bit now. I know I can’t even take a peak or the damn will burst. I asked my wife to come hold me but it was at a bad time. It can’t be healthy to not have any physical contact. I wonder what are withdrawal symptoms. Fatigue? I want to eventually have that breakthrough people talk about. Is it a chicken or the egg? How do you replace the vice with something else if you just kind of feel depressed?
     
  9. TheNightfly

    TheNightfly Active Member

    Still clean, it’s been a while. Trying to not think about it. I was tempted with some stressors. My going on 18 year old son is giving us absolute hell. He will put my wife in the grave. Sneaking out at 3 am, found couple of cases of white claw in his room. The deal is he can get his car back when he sees a counselor. That boy does not give I’ll a fuck about anything. Wish she had a really good friend to talk to you. He totally refuses to go to counseling under any circumstances. He will tell me to suck my dick same with my wife He will tell me to suck my dick same with my wife We have a fucked up family
     
  10. TheNightfly

    TheNightfly Active Member

    Well I have been a bad little boy. I think several factors wear on me. Zero intimacy in my life. A dislike for my wife and a need to fill the loneliness and emptiness inside myself. I can’t remember the last time I have felt close or intimate with anyone. I actually don’t think I ever have been in love. A counselor told me if I was in love I would know. It pains me to say I don’t think I ever have. If I ever have it did not last and it was not my wife. I pray she never knows this.
     

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