Making up for lost time: entrepreneur with nothing to lose, everything to gain

Discussion in 'Ages 25-29' started by biowinning, Aug 21, 2013.

  1. biowinning

    biowinning Pushing through with all of the grit I can muster

    Day 19 no O.
    Day 5 no P,M.

    I’m not in a good place right now.

    My room is a mess:

    [​IMG]

    My car is dirty.

    I don’t know where my license is. It’s probably lost.

    I just drove to the post office without a license.

    The post office is 800 metres away. I could have walked there in 5 minutes.

    I quit my fancy corporate job a week ago.

    I don’t have a steady income now. I made $120 last week.

    Pretty much the only thing I am doing half right at the moment is bodybuilding. And even that I am half assing – I haven’t been using a proper program. I’ve just been walking into the gym and dicking around doing random exercises. No periodization, no structure. Just random exercises – whatever I feel like really, the same way I make all of the other choices in life. This has to end. I can’t just do whatever I feel like for the rest of my life.

    I hated the constant surveillance that comes with an office job, so I quit. I also felt that it was driving me to PMO. Every time I was given an order it felt like a blunt instrument driven into my spine. But I’m finding that I don’t have the self discipline to even give myself orders now that I don't have a job. I can’t just let my dopaminergic system fire off a bunch of neurons and dictate all of my choices according to whatever feels good at the time. That sort of thinking would have been fine thousands of years ago, but today it lands you in a sea of bad habits. I’m like a ship that has set sail with no captain or crew. Just sitting in the middle of the ocean moving in whatever direction the wind decides and ultimately going nowhere.

    Half of my entire wardrobe is either on the floor or in the dirty clothes basket.

    I've had bursts of productivity and achievement in the past. But I've never quite been able to piece everything together simultaneously – career, women, health, being a good friend, giving something of value to society, having downtime etc. It’s as if achievement in one area comes at the cost of every other area.

    I have mild social anxiety. When I meet a new person or go into a crowded area I am semi uncomfortable. It’s not a huge discomfort – like 3 out of 10 or so. It’s like in my head I am just telling myself “OK, just do this, smile at them, say the right thing, say please and thank you and then you can go home and relax”. My body language betrays mild anxiety. I don’t face people so that our feet are parallel. My feet are always 20 degrees away from parallel to their feet until I am actually ready to walk away at which point they turn 45 degrees away. I don’t stutter or tremble. I can turn on confidence and charm and wit. I can turn it on so well that people have asked me for tips on dealing with people. But I’m slightly uncomfortable inside. I’m not really interested in other people. I want to be interested in other people but I can’t seem to force it.

    I guess this is called 'flatlining'.

    My energy levels hit a new low today. I woke up and surfed the internet for 3-4 hours. Granted, I was looking at self help websites, so the time wasn’t completely wasted. I think I am addicted to self help websites. They let me surf the web guilt free.

    I’ve became exhausted from consuming so much information. Jumping from new tab to new tab. I think the way I surf the internet is exhausting my brain – the sheer volume of information I’m forcing down my brain in a single hour must be excessive. I skim read. That’s boring. New tab. Read. Tab close. Hmmm this could be useful. Read. Read. New Tab New Tab New tab. Exhaustion.

    I just took a nap. Upon waking, I decided to be productive. But I ended up quickly grabbing my smart phone *just to check* and ended up spending 20 minutes browsing more random self help websites. Is information consumption exhausting? It has to be. I don’t have the energy to move out of bed, even though I’m not sleepy. What the fuck? I literally don’t have the energy to put my laptop to the side and even roll over right now. I thought this sort of thing only happened to meth addicts lol.

    My doctor says that my thyroid is fine.

    Is it my diet? Or both? I’ve been eating fairly healthy – I had a large bowl of muesli before my nap – oats, blueberries, banana, greek yoghurt, honey and about 300ml of milk. Am I allergic to dairy? Is milk bad for humans? Is it the fructose in the blueberries? Do these oats have some form of gluten in them? Do I need to buy the guaranteed gluten free oats? Should I be worried about oats that were prepared on the same conveyor belt that had a gluten containing product on it the day before? Did the combination of a banana, large amounts of dairy and a banana cause a huge glycaemic load that was followed by a blood sugar crash? I don’t fucking know and it would probably take 6 more hours of web surfing to figure out on the balance of probabilities whether the bowl of muesli is contributing to my apathy, and then the whole day would be gone.

    Does any of this even matter? I’m on a large ball hurtling through space and the universe will probably decide to fold in on itself next week.

    I just want to try giving this life a decent go before I wake up and I’m 40 years old, single, living in a messy 1 bedroom apartment and staring at a screen arguing with someone in Bumblefuck, Ontario over the merits of carbs before bedtime. I want to go out and live life. I want to dance, cry, argue, make up, give back, fight, sing and smile. I want to stop being a selfish blood sucking parasite. I want to feel empathy for people and improve the lives of others in some way. I don’t want to spend my life in front of a screen. Surely that is not too much to ask? Fuck, I really need to change my habits.

    After quitting my job, I’ve spent the last week researching optimal health. I know that I need a change, so I’ve turned to the internet to find out what that change is. After all of this extreme web researching I have come to the conclusion that the main thing I need to do is quit my extreme web researching.

    I don’t think I’m depressed. I think I have anhedonia. Wikipedia says:

    In psychology and psychiatry, anhedonia (/ˌænhiˈdoʊniə/ AN-hee-DOH-nee-ə; Greek: ἀν- an-, "without" + ἡδονή hēdonē, "pleasure") is defined as the inability to experience pleasure from activities usually found enjoyable, e.g. exercise, hobbies, music, sexual activities or social interactions. While earlier definitions of anhedonia emphasized pleasurable experience, more recent models have highlighted the need to consider different aspects of enjoyable behavior, such as motivation or desire to engage in an activity ("motivational anhedonia"), as compared to the level of enjoyment of the activity itself ("consummatory anhedonia").[1]


    OK I have motivational anhedonia. I actually get tremendous enjoyment out of working out, drinking with friends, going for a run on a sunny day, listening to electronic music and doing retarded things like putting honey on my flatmates door knob. There is a bunch of stuff that I want to do. I really want to: learn how to dance, start a blog, connect with people, become famous in some way and become one of the best teachers in this city. I really really want to do these things, but when it comes to actually calling the place or taking the bus, or doing the first hard task...... something happens and I end up just wasting 5 hours dicking around on the internet. I guess I am severely addicted to the internet. Fuck.

    I’ve wanted to write all of this shit down for a long time and chronicle my journey from unorganised, unproductive loser to guy who has his shit together. I’ve procrastinated on this for like 6 months.

    I’m 28.

    I looked at a kid the other day and thought “I want one of those”. It came out of nowhere. I used to feel complete indifference toward children. Now I want one that looks somewhat like me. I would like to share a child with someone I could fall in love with. I want an attractive, intelligent wife, a house, a car, enough money to travel once a year and a kiddy that looks like me. Unfortunately I have trouble talking to attractive women – I kind of end up just being awkward and interrogating them with a barrage of questions, lol.

    I read somewhere that the section of the brain responsible for spontaneous conversation is shrunk by 20% in video game users. I’d imagine with my web browsing habits that it has shrunk by like 40-50%. I’m hoping that when I quit the web my social brain will rebalance to its original functioning. Or maybe I'm a genetic introvert and I should learn to accept the benefits and disbenefits this brings - maybe I just have to live with the fact that I am always going to be quieter and slightly awkard around strangers.

    According to Lally et al (2009), it takes anywhere from 18 to 254 days for a habit to reach 95% ‘automaticity’. I.e. that’s how long it takes for you to just do the habit without thinking. More difficult habits take longer to implement. http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/ejsp.674/abstract;jsessionid=7E1DA080EE5A698428608862201A7004.d03t01

    After all of the research into self-help and health interventions, I’ve arrived at my list of interventions that I will try simultaneously moving toward automaticity. This is a lot to do at once, but I figure if I take 2 months out of my life to set up good habits for the rest of my life, then it's worth it.

    It is likely that at least one of these interventions is useless or moving in the wrong direction. The idea here is that I will throw 20 darts at my motivational anhedonia and hope a bunch connect.

    Here are the interventions:

    Time management, goal setting, productivity
    - David Allen’s “Getting Things Done” method, implemented with NirvanaHQ
    - Francesco Cirillo's “Pomadoro” technique, implemented with the Pomadroido android app
    - Google Calendar
    - Colornote for android

    Diet
    - A hybrid of Intermittent Fasting, Cyclical Ketogenic Diet (keto for 2 workouts, carbs for 2 workouts), Paleo Diet (no grains and no dairy apart from butter), Carb back loading, plain non dopamine inducing food choices (e.g. plain chicken breast, plain veggies, plain rice, no garlic, pepper, chilli, onion etc)
    - Supplements – Multivitamin, Zinc, Iodine, 4 grams fish oil/day
    - No stimulants
    - No eating to feel good

    Personal growth
    - When choosing between a comfortable alternative and harder alternative with a possible positive payoff, choose the harder alternative
    - Meditation
    - Do stuff that I will look back on when I'm 50 and smile

    Relationships
    - Organise 1 social event a month
    - Reply to peoples emails/texts
    - Attend at least 1 social event per month
    - Do Good Looking Loser's approach anxiety stuff
    - Set up dates with women

    Wealth
    - Build my business up to its potential cash flow
    - Then start more businesses

    Hormonal health
    • Iodine (in the form of Lugol’s solution)
    • Direct sun daily
    • Biphasic sleep
    • Cold showers
    • Full day fasts sporadically
    No Fap
    • Blue blocker glasses
    • Earmuffs to block out city noise (I live in a high noise area)

    Physical
    * A structured power and hypertrophy squat cycle, dead lift and olympic lifting program.
    * Yoga
    * Cardiovascular activity - a mix of HIIT and LISS

    I’m not going to be able to do everything every day. What I can do is report back here with my progress. This is it. This is my shot. If I can keep to like 7 of the above things every day then I will be moving in the right direction. I don't have a wage job and I've got a bunch of savings, so I have the time resources to commit to getting this right once and for all.
     
  2. High_Achiever

    High_Achiever New Member

    Re: Quit my job to finally get this handled. GRIT. STRENGTH. RESPONSIBILITY.

    Did I get this correctly. You quitted your job to deal with your porn addiction?

    Was your job unsatisfying perhaps?
     
  3. ubiq

    ubiq New Member

    Re: Quit my job to finally get this handled. GRIT. STRENGTH. RESPONSIBILITY.

    Jesus Christ, including the pic, age, and story, this is as if I posted this.

    Do you ever feel you have to "force it" when interacting to new people due to your Social Anxiety? I've gone through bouts of this periodically when coming off or during a pmo binge bout.

    PMO while employed is basically like coming to work while high. It's dangerous to your own job safety and very selfish.
     
  4. Rowa

    Rowa Guest

    Re: Quit my job to finally get this handled. GRIT. STRENGTH. RESPONSIBILITY.

    Wow man this was very enlightening. Ironically even before I read this I just posted about possibly quitting my shitty dead end job to pursue a life that is truly worth living. I'm 26 soon to be 27 in a couple of months. Dude the plan you mapped out sounds incredible I think I will be doing some of the things you listed. I hear starting you own business is not as difficult as some would make it. I'm sure no doubt once you've Reboot it will be as easy to sift through the clutter of your life just like you trying to sift through the clutter of your room. I totally relate. YOU CAN DO IT MAN..... NO YOU WILL DO IT!!! You are now the master of your own destiny.... you always were you just left it on autopilot and took a nap. You awaken to find that you've hit a few icebergs but it's all good they're just minor scuffs and now you are back at the controls. Truly inspiring man you had to balls to quit your job which sounds a lot more lucrative than my shitty one. If you can do it with a high paying corporate job what the hell is still keeping me here at this low paying shit job??? FEAR is the answer, I don't want to be afraid anymore.

    One step at a time brother. :)
     
  5. Magnus-

    Magnus- New Member

    Re: Quit my job to finally get this handled. GRIT. STRENGTH. RESPONSIBILITY.

    Yes, what was your job and what are you planning to do afterwards?

    Reading your message, I feel empathic et sorry for reading you in such emotional trap. I hope you will have the energy to give your life new direction it deserves. Yet, I'm wondering from what you write, could you afford to disconnect / take a long break and travel for example?
     
  6. biowinning

    biowinning Pushing through with all of the grit I can muster

    Re: Quit my job to finally get this handled. GRIT. STRENGTH. RESPONSIBILITY.

    Day 20 no O.
    Day 6 no P,M.

    Achievement unlocked: Morning wood! Boom!

    Thanks so much for checking in High_Achiever and Magnus. We are in this for the long haul boys. I worked as a management consultant. Getting my sloppy habits beat was a big motivating factor to quit. But I've always wanted to quit the corporate world, pretty much ever since I started 5 years ago. Over time, I had started to use P, alcohol, drugs and Internet surfing to distract me from my soul sucking job. (and also to distract me from failed relationships with women)

    I have a good chunk of savings. 50 hour work weeks were at least good for something. I could afford to take a year off, but hopefully my reboot doesn't take that long! I've also brought my weekly expenses down to practically nothing. My rented room is actually a small study that has been converted into a 'room'.

    Thanks so much for this encouragement bro. Nice to know that somewhere out there in internetland considers my plan 'incredible'! Yes, FEAR keeps us from doing the things we must do. Funny thing is, as no fap rolls forward, that fear starts to get removed! (By testosterone I suspect.) One day I just woke up on day 20 of a good no pmo streak and said, 'right, that's it, I'm quitting' and marched the partners into a meeting room and did it. In the midst of regular fapping, I could never do that. I was still nervous as heck though.

    I guess it depends on your life situation. Should you quit with 2 weeks of living expenses in the bank? No. Should you quit with 6-9 months of living expenses in the bank? If you have a viable replacement income idea, then sure. It depends on your support networks, savings and the viability of your replacement income. You are 26 about to transform your life to be free from porn - you can do anything.

    Yes, absolutely. I get got the worst social anxiety after a PMO binge. If I fap once after a 20 day streak, no anxiety. If I fap 4 times in a weekend, multiple tabbed windows style after a 20 day streak, hello anxiety.

    I swear I used to be an expert at multiple tabbed window P browsing. I would open up 4 desirable tabs, pause each at each 'perfect' moment, then play each one in perfect succession all whilst fapping with the other hand like some sort of one handed DJ.

    I agree, porn addiction can be dangerous to your job safety. Especially in terms of promotions - it's pretty hard to be your best self when you are semi anxious around senior people.

    I'm sad to hear that you are going through the same thing. Hopefully you can draw some motivation from knowing that I am battling this too. In this together mate :) So I guess you are well familiar with that feeling of knowing that you have ruined some of the best years of your life, knowing the solution, yet still not fixing things in the midst of time running out. :-[
     
  7. biowinning

    biowinning Pushing through with all of the grit I can muster

    Re: Quit my job to finally get this handled. GRIT. STRENGTH. RESPONSIBILITY.

    [cont. from last post]

    So I woke up with a raging boner this morning! Instead of rolling over and grabbing my smart phone, I walked downstairs. My dopamine system kicked in and started searching for stimulation – coffee, tea, food, TV, internet. I fought the urges and meditated for 25 minutes instead. I’ve been procrastinating on meditation for months and today I finally did it! It felt OK I guess. Actually, I was pretty bored and my back got sore.

    Wherever possible, I’m trying to make ‘dopamine friendly’ choices. Instead of eating and surfing youtube, I will just eat. Instead of taking a shit whilst surfing the web, I’ll just shit. Small wins. I don’t know where all this will lead. Maybe one day I’ll be sitting on a mountain on the 30th day of a fast hitting ‘zen’.

    I did feel that the meditation did ‘something’. I had sausages for lunch and was struck by their steaming, glistening beauty. Usually I would just tear through my food and treat it as a tasty annoyance whilst web surfing. Today was different, I watched the steam unfold into the air and was happily ‘in the moment’ before each bite.

    I cleaned my room :D

    The Pomodoro technique is working very well so far. For large, complex tasks that take hours, the Pomodoro technique gives you a feeling of achievement along the way. Instead of looking at a half clean apartment, you don’t think “shit I’m only half done” you think “nice, I’m already 2 Pomodoro’s into this. Only 2 more to go”

    Ran into an older (late 30s) woman today during my day to day activities. I found that I was showing more personality than usual. Smiling a bit more, being slightly more animated and confident. I would say my anxiety was a 0.5/10 with her. She seemed really comfortable around me. And she kept touching her neck like it was itchy. Maybe it was really itchy. Or maybe no fap pheremones are kicking in :D
     
  8. biowinning

    biowinning Pushing through with all of the grit I can muster

    Re: Quit my job to finally get this handled. GRIT. STRENGTH. RESPONSIBILITY.

    Holy smokes I can literally feel the tesosterone coursing through my veins on Day 6.

    I just feel 'different'.

    More alive. More virile. Ready to fight or fuck.

    The science seems to say that this could be what testosterone feels like:

    A research on the relationship between ejaculation and serum testosterone level in men.
    Jiang M, Xin J, Zou Q, Shen JW.

    Department of Life Science, Hangzhou Normal College, Hangzhou 310020, China. jiangmy@mail.hz.zj.cn
    Abstract
    The purpose of this study is to gain understanding of the relationship between ejaculation and serum testosterone level in men. The serum testosterone concentrations of 28 volunteers were investigated daily during abstinence periods after ejaculation for two phases. The authors found that the fluctuations of testosterone levels from the 2nd to 5th day of abstinence were minimal. On the 7th day of abstinence, however, a clear peak of serum testosterone appeared, reaching 145.7% of the baseline ( P < 0.01). No regular fluctuation was observed following continuous abstinence after the peak. Ejaculation is the precondition and beginning of the special periodic serum testosterone level variations, which would not occur without ejaculation. The results showed that ejaculation-caused variations were characterized by a peak on the 7th day of abstinence; and that the effective time of an ejaculation is 7 days minimum. These data are the first to document the phenomenon of the periodic change in serum testosterone level; the correlation between ejaculation and periodic change in the serum testosterone level, and the pattern and characteristics of the periodic change.

    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/12659241
     
  9. Reborn warrior

    Reborn warrior New Member

    Re: Quit my job to finally get this handled. GRIT. STRENGTH. RESPONSIBILITY.

    Good luck on your journey bro, very interesting and admirable read so far. I have just reached 14 days and definitely feel like a different person already! I had a few 20 day no PMO successes in the past but always crashed so set myself a target of 100 days... 100 days to hopefully 100% recovery. God speed my friend
     
  10. Magnus-

    Magnus- New Member

    Re: Quit my job to finally get this handled. GRIT. STRENGTH. RESPONSIBILITY.

    Bio, I am going to follow closely your journal. We're in almost the same boat - besides I am also leaving a career job (think investment banking, consulting - you know what I mean, I just don't want to be overly specific) fed up by the corporate environment for now.

    I was asking you about traveling because even though I don't know where you are, I guess moving abroad for you could be fun, cheaper and a way to be busy and your head not on porn. Besides, you seem to be able to travel light, only a room to leave and limited furniture to manage. To me, it sounds like a no brainer. Is there any region of the world that you would like to travel? Any activity you would want to do? Let's say diving (pretty relaxing), golfs, I don't know!

    I am planning to travel - either rtw or focus oceania / asia. There are tons of sports and activities I dream to do, and I want to do them fully.

    Take care!
     
  11. biowinning

    biowinning Pushing through with all of the grit I can muster

    Re: Quit my job to finally get this handled. GRIT. STRENGTH. RESPONSIBILITY.

    Thanks mate :) Will check in on your journal to watch you on your way to Day 100.

    Likewise, I will follow your journal. Great to see someone else leaving the 'prestigious' world of high flying corporate jobs. I rather view it as the 'prestigious' world of indentured slavery. A Zegna suit can't hide the fact that taking orders for 50+ hours a week is a shit way to live your life.

    Where do you plan on travelling? Sounds like you are about to move into an amazing stage of your life - travel + rebooting = awesome times! (Ladies, watch out for a Magnus arriving in a country near you ;) )

    Travelling has certainly crossed my mind. I will stay in my home city until I can validate my decision to quit by matching my prev wage income with income from my new business. I think I just want to prove to myself (and others :-[) that the decision was a good one, and serious cash flow coming in every week will make me feel better about my decision to walk away from a lucrative career.
     
  12. biowinning

    biowinning Pushing through with all of the grit I can muster

    Re: Quit my job to finally get this handled. GRIT. STRENGTH. RESPONSIBILITY.

    Day 7 and I feel absolutely fantastic. ;D

    I should expand on that. I feel the best I ever have in my entire life. I feel potent, assertive, centred, charismatic, calm, happy and high energy. I feel alive.

    This is not hyperbole. This is actually the best I have ever felt, ever. (Aside from experiments with drugs).

    I’ve hit Day 7 multiple times in the past. And they have been universally good. But those Day 7s were not the all out Schwarzenegger meets Dalai Lama feeling that I’m experiencing right now.

    This is ridiculous. I feel like Bradley Cooper in the movie ‘Limitless’. My brain just feels...rebalanced.

    In the past when I’ve hit Day 7s, I was still addicted to other stuff: Caffeine, Internet, Sugar, a job I hated....and my personal life outside of work was a chaotic mess.

    This Day 7 is different. I’ve worked very hard on my habits over the last 2 days and it is starting to pay off. I’ve meditated, I’ve gotten adequate sun exposure, I’ve done 100m sprint training, I’ve slept polyphasically, avoided stimulants, abstained from alcohol, eaten exactly paleo, worked hard on my business, actioned any nagging ‘to do’ items. I’ve called and apologized to friends that I’d selfishly lost contact with. I’ve implemented the Pomodoro Technique, which has enabled a level of belief that I can be productive enough to achieve all of my goals. And stone the bloody crows – all of my anxiety and stress has just melted away.

    Whilst it is time to celebrate and enjoy the moment, I am also aware that it is time for mental preparation and mindful resilience: This mind body bliss phase can’t last – and I need to be ready for an inevitable flatline. When that flatline comes, it will be time to dig the heals in. As Churchill says, “If you are going to go through hell, keep going”.

    There is a disclaimer here. No fap is not likely to be the only thing contributing to this excellent feeling. If I was to estimate the power of no fap in relation to the other interventions I’m applying, I would say that no fap is 65%. The other habits are 35%.
     
  13. SammyBattery

    SammyBattery New Member

    Re: Quit my job to finally get this handled. GRIT. STRENGTH. RESPONSIBILITY.

    Encouraging news man! I bet it only motivates you to keep on going and see what this "godly energy" has in store for you if you keep holding it for weeks and months.
     
  14. Magnus-

    Magnus- New Member

    Re: Quit my job to finally get this handled. GRIT. STRENGTH. RESPONSIBILITY.

    I'm looking at different options - definitely APAC, can share in PM. Yes I'm excited about this, and I anyway need it to prepare for the next steps. But I must admit that I would have rather had secured an income stream in the meantime. Anyway, one thing after the other. What kind of business are you setting up? Crossed fingers for your new venture...

    Your description about our world is straight to the point; yet it's somewhat scary to see how few people see it like that. Tonight again, I went out with friends and it almost saddened me to see how fancy my job title sounds and how much interest it seemed to generate in other people's eyes when in reality this corporate rat-race is just unfulfilling!
     
  15. Magnus-

    Magnus- New Member

    Re: Quit my job to finally get this handled. GRIT. STRENGTH. RESPONSIBILITY.

    This is great news, congratulations - I keep my fingers crossed for a continued recovery with this rate of improvement (this is pretty quick). Needless to say, the disconnect from your job and the decision to initiate a disruption is probably deeply motivating and a large contributing factor to your sudden boost. Keep a foot back though!
     
  16. ubiq

    ubiq New Member

    Re: Quit my job to finally get this handled. GRIT. STRENGTH. RESPONSIBILITY.

    It's 7 great days to the rest of your life. I'll make that 7 days too.
     
  17. Bazooka Joe

    Bazooka Joe New Member

    Re: Quit my job to finally get this handled. GRIT. STRENGTH. RESPONSIBILITY.

    Dude a job is your best friend during a reboot.

    Can't fap while at work, now can we?
     
  18. biowinning

    biowinning Pushing through with all of the grit I can muster

    Re: Quit my job to finally get this handled. GRIT. STRENGTH. RESPONSIBILITY.

    Good point mate, although I do remember a few occasions where I jerked off straight into the office toilets. Definitely a highlight for my future autobiography and a story for the grandkids!


    Yeah that does happen at dinners. The good firms do a very good job of marketing themselves to the aspirational middle class. Those who are in less prestigious jobs tend to view MC / IB as some sort of guaranteed road to epic salaries and status. This is true IF you are willing to put in inhumane hours and kiss so much ass. As you say, it's just totally unfulfilling. You literally are selling your soul for financial security and a little prestige.

    That said, it's unfulfilling for people like you and me. For others, who have been brought up to work hard and be stable providers, or are locked down by wives/debt, they can get fulfillment out of plugging away and working their way up slowly. Aristotle spoke of some humans as being 'natural slaves'. I kind of agree with this - there were some people I worked with who I could never see taking any lifestyle risks.
     
  19. biowinning

    biowinning Pushing through with all of the grit I can muster

    Re: Quit my job to finally get this handled. GRIT. STRENGTH. RESPONSIBILITY.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJLMxD4YABg

    OK 10 days and I'm going strong. Cravings are barely noticeable. I am feeling the full range of emotions. Laughing more. Being more assertive. Getting SUPER pissed off at the slightest hint of disrespect from someone. Crazy pissed off with adrenalin running and shit. WTF?

    And fuck me - pheremones where did these come from?!

    I literally smell women who are DTF now. I used to just smell their perfume. Now I swear that I can smell their pussy juice or some shit. If I stand near a 18-40 year old woman (OK....16-40 :p) and breathe in I get semi intoxicated on their pheremones. It's like I can smell the egg moving through the fallopian tube. Weird shit.

    I stayed in the house for like 2-3 days to work on my business and gym program. Then I went to a department store to buy something. Went up to a female staff member from behind and asked her where the disposable shavers were. She basically collapsed into the fetal position dripping in vaginal fluids. WTF. She was so into me you would have thought i'd morphed into ben affleck. Didn't hit it because whilst she was cute she was a bit overweight.

    This is ridiculous. I had just worked out and was sweaty as balls. I was wearing a shitty singlet. Is she smelling my pheremones? What has changed since I was fapping? I used to walk around in a singlet before fapping and I'd get checked out but nothing like this. Women are just being super obvious now. Did my testosterone go up because of no fap and good gym and she is smelling my testosterone travelling through the air? Should I not shower so much to maximise pheremones? These are serious questions!

    I've also read that, in women, the section of the brain responsible for decoding body language and confidence in other people, is 30% larger. They just have more advanced ways of detecting who is alpha and confident and who is a beta fapper. I have been doing LOTS of meditation lately and so I'm relaxed as fuck. My breathing is chilled and composed around people now.

    Maybe I've solved the equation to attracting females ;D: it's a combination of two things.

    * Change your body language via rewiring your BIOLOGY. No fap --> Testosterone and alphaness --> Good body language --> Female spidey senses pick up on this --> bioWINNING
    * Change your pheremones via rewiring your biology. No fap --> Testosterone increase (and who knows what other hormones change) --> Release pheremones --> Female spidey senses detect that you are a sick kunt --> bioWINNING

    Not to mention that your skin is better, voice deeper, eye contact more intense etc etc.

    Regardless of what it is, this feels super weird. I'm getting checked out by lots of women and for the first time in my life I'm being super selective. I don't want to bust my nut into just any ganga and lose all my no fap gains.

    Anyway, women can sod off for now. Lots to do in my business and it's time to consolidate and be resilient at implementing all of these habits for good.
     
  20. Rowa

    Rowa Guest

    Re: Quit my job to finally get this handled. GRIT. STRENGTH. RESPONSIBILITY.

    Hey Biowinning! Great to see you still on track, congrats on 10 days man. Sky is the limit man now man keep on trucking.

    I agree with you totally women have an advanced ability to sense confidence and weakness almost instantly! Women want dominance, and when you become dominance you feel like you can have your pick of any woman in the lot.

    Hahaha the other day my boss walk into the room she looked like she was upset about something and she looked at me in mean way and said "what are you looking at?" I grabbed her by the arm pullled her close to me and said to in her ear "What are you looking at?" than pushed her away from me. (in a playful way not violent) She smiled and immediately became submissive and offered to by me something to eat. I would have never done that to any female a year ago as a fapper with no confidence I hated making physical contact with anyone. This just doesn't help with potential mates either, I've also been alot more affectionate with family, I'm hugging my mother alot more when I see her, Horse play and fighting with my brother when I see him ( actually picked him up and slammed him a few days ago haven't done that since we were little haha.)


    Yeah bro keep it up Dominance is the key, that is what has allowed man to surpass every other animal on the planet.


    500 club for life
     

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