Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Mad Dog, Jul 10, 2020.
Does every post have to do with recovery ? Just talking on my journal dude !
Hello everyone ! Well 2020 is finally finished thank good ess ! The last 4 mos were tough thats why you'll haven't heard from me.Talk with you soon
Well I think I will start at the beginning . I had a disagreement with one of bosses earlier last year. Suddenly. my journal disappeared and I was banned from the site, not a warning not a note nothing ! Disagreement not argument ! Pissed me off real bad but finally I said f-- it ! I was going thru a bad time with withdrawal from pmo after 3 years---emptiness and despair! Dammit be back !
After very busy days I want to continue Will see how it goes I have a appt in a short while. I realized that the emptiness from lack of pmo was more dangerous than what I had ever thought was possible. So I began to experiment and what I found wa exciting yet at the same time disturbing. Sorry dammit have to go try to get back soon-----
I'll be interested in hearing more. Glad you're back, my friend.
Thx for regard Saville guess u know who Iam --- to continue after a while of experimentation I figured that the " wild side" wasn't for me. Heather started to give me bullshit and I told her it wasn't for me ( sex shops, etc ), and thats the way it was and if it bothered her that much well she could go if she wanted ! I will be 61 this year Iam not gonna do stuff that bothers me. At any rate the emptiness stopped and on I went I guess Heather figured I wasn't gonna change and she accepted it but It was damm sure touchy for a while. Iam glad to be back
Pmo was alluring even though I had a satisfying and active sex life. I feel the experimentation was positive it made me feel as though I was not missing anything and finally I knew for sure I didn't want to go back to pmo and I didn't so now almost 3 1/2 years later.
I'm glad you've found equanimity in your sex life and life in general. I went back to the tawdriness of PMO after 3 1/2 years of being clean...the scourge is always there and presents in a multitude of ways. Thankfully I seem to be back on track, but I learned a hard lesson.
I didn't know you fell off Iam so glad you are back on track . Yes, both of us, 3/12 years. Hard to believe but I never gave in to physical Pmo I was for a better word lucky but I was damm sure tempted , It was very very close! Shocking isn't it ?After 3 1/2 years I feel like I have been through the FIRE ,was it just same for you ?
Was a very relaxing weekend except for dancing last nite. Heather wanted to take me out for eats after dancing daughter went to grandmas Friday nite so we didn't have to get home asap. There wa a very attractive female at club and wanted to dance with me constantly. Heather got pissed but like I told her that's my job. Sometimes I wonder where her " head" is ? Yeah I know she's female !
! When we got home we drank wine on the porch and got drunk and fell asleep. She woke me up with wonderfu big l breakfast and we fell back to sleep afterwards on the porch. Iam still hungover and I did chores while she cleaned house. Iam so glad I didn't go back to pmo " fucking" is way more fun REAL fun !"
Ok----- was very busy week. Heather really gave me " shit" this week because some of my clients are sexy beautiful women. I AM really getting tired of this crazy nonsense ! She said " look her boobs are firmer than mine !" I blew up and said that if she felt challenged then she should go and Iam not gonna try and convince her to be sensible and she's not gonna put her insanity on me! When we went dancing this past weekend I, was very business like. She came in office while I was talking to a client who happens to be very beautiful and rich. After she left Heather started to grill me so I said " ya know if it wasn't for you I think I would fuck her brains out !" " What an ass and legs an tits you should see her on the massage table !" She just stared at me! We will see this week ---- such bullshit !Pmo is bugging me lately!
Relationship with Heather no-good right now ! Pmo bugging me probably because of what I just said.The other nite she said she wanted me to quit the massage business. Told her fuckin bullshit that's not happening ! INSECURITY!!!!! T old her maybe she needs to find
another guy you're young and beautiful and very sexy. She said " maybe!" " Told her No one is gonna tell me what 2 work at --PERIOD !" Maybe time to move on! What BALLS !.Her sister called me last nite and said " reconsider " l told her you both crazy there's not gonna be any reconsidering ! Insecure!!!!!!! They both are beautiful and sexy !!!! No 'pussy" last few days ! Let's see I have 3 clients that are awesome! Hahaha!!!! Heather knows I am not waiting around as does her sister !
Told Heather last nite to move our for a while, we need a real break from each other, she agreed and then asked me if I was gonna see other women. I told her we will dance together if you want but the other is none of your business
This is a big change in your life, Mad Dog. I guess Heather just wants to know that she is your one and only. I'm sure if my wife was telling me about all the hot guys she was massaging I too would feel insecure. You had a sexual awakening of sorts with Heather and falling into some kind of "normal" with one another can be difficult.
I dont put it in her face she comes to office and sees them. I dont talk about work at home. I can understand but she never understood and does not want to understand apparently I do this for $. I care about her but this control ! She wants to go out for a dinner date this evening and talk--- ok that's positive. I don't want this separation but I will not be controlled---- such bullshit!
Went out for dinner after dancing, Heather dressed spectacular. Well she said she can't help herself because I have attractive clients. I told her dont I come home and pay attention to you? I don't talk about work? She said" yes but when I see them they are so sexy and beautiful ---- it- makes her crazy and they want you to touch them!" Thats what massage therapists do and they pay me enormous of $ to do it ! I told her" I don't want you to leave!" She started to cry and asked me if I loved her---- yup sure do Heather and then we had a fabulous dinner ! So things will be OK as long as she control s the jealousy!
Glad you patched things up.
Yes, thanks when we came home e we sat on porch for a few hours drinking wine and got drunk and gonna sleep now Heather passed out on bed nude think gonna rape her shit Iam drunk as hell can barely type pmo under control--- good nite guys
Jamie sleeping over grandmas this week so I took off mo to wed this week as did Heather so we can get relationship back on track. So far thats lovemaking and going out for dinners and driving to beach and walking and Ahem--- a few other things while on beach ! I needed a rest have been working my ass off ! Here yesterday: get up after sex, breakfast, back to bed for a nap, gave Heather a full-body oily .massage, sat on porch drinking wine Heather on my lap, back to bed for another nap and whatever for rest of day I think go out for crabs later and hot tub ! How nice--- ah rest !' Pmo fading !!!!!
Thanks Saville ! Went to a crab restauranrt last nite its a rustic restaurant . While you standing in line outside ( its monsterally crowded) they serve you beer no charge !" H ow nice!!!! Tables are picnic everybody sits together! What fun, the food is spectacular the talk is hysterical ! Heather loves the place she ate 2 lobsters
and 1/2 of mine and laughed so hard she leaned over and cried when/ a pregnant woman said " oh shit I just peed in my pants,!" We all got
nuts laughing the 20 people sitting at table ! Everybody buys pitcher's of beer and we all share what fun. Heather got drunk ( cant drink beer) and wanted to make love in van that is until she passed out hahaha! We went home I carried her into bedroom undressed her and rolled her into hot tub! She gasped but liked it then I got in and then ah------ !!! Then we went to bed I had to carry her she fell asleep! What a great nite ---- pmo I DONT THINK SO !
Separate names with a comma.