Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Mad Dog, Jul 10, 2020.
Yesterday was 1050 days without pmo, 2 years 10 1/2 months. A long road but worth it.
I'd be very interested to hear more about your journey. Do you still encounter difficulties, or is porn really not that much of an issue for you anymore?
Gil79--- the difficulties are always there at least for me. I think one real big problem is boredom. When you feel you have been successful there is a void. Getting over this takes immense strength and regard but you can do it at least I did. When I got to the 2 year mark it started.
This is no means a criticism. Do members really want to get over pmo or is this just a place to discuss their addiction ?
I'm so ready. There's so much wisdom and help in what's been shared before that I can catch up as a new member.
For sure the people that come here and journal really want to quit. For almost everyone this is very difficult and takes quite a long time and quite some relapses. How was this for you?
Difficult but I was determined. There were no relapses though I struggled day by day at times.
It is interesting how different people cope with it. Some seem really determined and committed, whereas others really hit a barrier where the initial determination or commitment is not enough to pysh through. There are so many variables involved, not the least the importance porn has in our lives to deal with difficulties. Also I think that we 40+ are still quite lucky to had a relatively late exposure to high speed internet porn.
Congratulations, that is very inspiring.
I think often there are underlying causes to porn addiction, so removing the addiction isn't enough. If the underlying issues aren't dealt with it's all to easy to use porn as a (very bad) coping mechanism. I know when I'm trying to be clean my depression kicks in pretty badly.
I don't 100% understand what you mean here, do you mean boredom because the time that was spent masturbating is now free? Or that boredom is more generally a problem.
You have positively accomplished your goal or ( so it seems )now what ? There is a member called Saville that I think talks about this. You may want to check it out. This phase of recovery IS VERY VERY DANGEROUS ! For me at 2 years w/ o pmo it was like walking into a concrete wall ! Has nothing to do with time available it has to do with cerebral attitude. I feel you must explore sexually until you find a place you are comfortable with.
I think I know what you mean. It's like subconsciously your brain thinks 'I can relax now, job done' and then you fall in.
If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall.
Yes, you got it ! The sexually exploring can be frightening but I personally think It s necessary. For me the conventional method was agreeable.
This maybe a very long post so I will section it up into 3 or so parts I have been on this site for a long time. What you see is a new name some of you would recognize th e old. Reason for new? My old journal just disappeared after a small word disagreement with a monitor. Will continue----
So after problem I decided to take a break from the site for like 3 months. To be honest I was really pissed. No notice journal just disappeared. I feel very strongly about this site it is responsible for whatever success I have had.---- later
An earlier account I had got blocked - and I couldn't find the reason. That reminds that I should probably make a backup of any contents I don't want to lose.
After 2or so years a disturbing effect showed up.BOREDOM ! I had I thought defeated the pmo devil what now ? Iam fortunate to have a sexy g/ f so what the hell ! She is very kinky and expresses that openly. One of her things i s sex shops. I had thought that I would experience and then would decide what I liked if anything. Boy ,was th at a ride ! I went and experienced the personal there and at home and I didnt like it. She is welcome to it but not for me thank you ----later
I really believed that the boredom issue would set in after you have spent time without pmo. So I began discussing my sex life on the site to hopefully show members that this would maybe happen . I believed before very strongly that the only way to defeat the boredom issue was to experiment and see what you liked..
Well, I don't need to discuss my sex life and it ( written) didnt work as I started to get negative comments. Then the moderator bullshit.
At any rate suddenly the journal disappeared after I was accused of going back to pmo which of course was ridiculous because pmo had nothing to do with it and the situations were with live women NOT internet pixel women..
While I was not angry I was surprised at the " sniping from the bushes!" Case closed!
Its the past ------
Being back to work is excellent Iam not the kind of dude that sits home all day and twiddles thumbs. G/f b ack to work with judge. Gives us less time to interact , while bullshit lock down was in effect and we were both home she was starting to get on my nerves probably I was on hers also. Pandemic is such nonsense ! Pmo tugged at me a bit yesterday but saw it for what it is!
Good that you are able to get back to work. I think inactivity causes a lot of problems for guys. One thing I’ve found out is that guys lacking a structure usually do very badly.
Yes, I recently changed careers so Iam quite pleased with this. I worked all my life diligently. I returned to massage therapy but I have to be careful women are quite predatory.
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