Hello - I am in my early 40's. Started using porn around age 13. I've suffered from psychological ED my entire sexual life, which began age 18. Through my 20's I'd frequently be able to get hard enough to receive oral sex or hand jobs, but as I got into my 30's I lost the ability to have erections with a partner at all. I'm a gay man, and my ED is compounded by the fact that gay sex is terrifying to me. I grew up during the AIDS crisis. I was raised to believe that even touching a gay person might give you AIDS. So the fear of HIV is deeply embedded in me and plagues me during sexual encounters. I also do not enjoy or engage in anal sex, perhaps because of these fears, which introduces a whole different dimension of sexual performance anxiety, since this is the preferred sexual activity of many gay men. My point here is that PIED is only one dimension of my ED... there's also health-based fear, and performance-based fear compounding things. Because of all this, I've spent most of my life single and very rarely have sexual partners. Any time I am sexually engaged with another person, even with no pressure for anal sex, I'm still unable to get an erection. No matter how mentally aroused I may be. On top of my sexual issues, I am recovering alcoholic with several years of sobriety under my belt. So I am familiar with the process of abstaining from my drugs of choice. I know that abstaining from pornography and p-subs will take more than just willpower, but a whole host of tools and spiritual grounding. Luckily I am familiar with those through my sobriety journey. I am optimistic about my ability to complete the reboot. A few years ago, I successfully completed a 90-day stretch of no P, a 30 day stretch of no MO. I eventually went back to P because my erection still did not happen on a date with a very attractive guy and I gave up. But now I am realizing that I did not truly reboot. I still allowed myself plenty of MO in the 90 days and lots of fantasizing and hypersexual thought during that time. This time I know that the 90 days must extend beyond P and P-subs, but cover all hypersexual thought and triggers. Why now? I recently had 2 risky situations arise that are a direct result of my sexual dysfunction, rooted in my addiction to PMO. I could have (and may have) lost things in those situations that I am not willing to lose. In other words, I've hit bottom. Today is Day 1. I've spent the weekend researching what this is going to take and I even spoke at length about it with my sponsor from my alcohol recovery program. I know I have to do this and I know why I am doing this. On a positive note, even though I haven't even started yet, the last several mornings I have woken up with raging MW. So I guess this a good sign to start? I know there is no physiological issues happening down there, it is purely psychological.