Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by Arturo Tercero, Mar 28, 2013.

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    I was Arthur Redux, but now I'm Arturo Tercero.

    Some people persuaded me I should come back.

    So .... yeah ... I've left twice and now have come back twice.

    There's not much I can say.

    I am on Day 29.

    As I've said before my own particular mission is No M.




    My name is "Arturo". I've had other identities on this forum, first as Arthur, and then as Arthur Redux.

    I've promised myself and others, that I will keep this identity and this same thread going, for however long I am here. At the moment I am on Day 37, and I most certainly need to be here at the very least for a long time more.

    My mission here, my own particular focus, is No Masturbation. For me No Masturbation also includes No Porn, but No Masturbation is my first focus, as I've never in my life viewed porn without also masturbating.

    I am a Christian, and for me the word "Christian" means a follower of Jesus Christ.

    Now, a little of my background:

    My age is in the late fifties. I began with M at age 11. It became a life-long habit, that is, until this "new life" began 37 days ago.

    At the beginning of my M habit, I found or used some kind of "soft core" image to stimulate me. Magazines, things like that, particular TV shows, etc.

    Porn didn't begin for me until I was about 26-27 years old. But right at that time, video tape was being introduced to the world. And so my porn addiction began, facilitated by the new medium of VHS tapes.

    During the mid-2000's I remarried. I had been married to someone else before, much earlier in my life. At the time I remarried I also moved away from my native U.S. to a new country. I've been living there (here) ever since getting married.

    My wife has been a true and literal Godsend. Yes, certainly, there have been some rocky moments. But she is my best friend, soul mate, lover, and advisor. I feel that I fulfill the same role in her life. We are very similar inside, though based on appearance we are quite dissimilar. It is a wonderful thing; we are truly one.

    My wife was a Godsend in the sense that after marrying her my porn use, for the most part, stopped. I wasn't keeping track of how long or whatever. But I probably had a period of a couple years when I didn't look at any porn.

    However, my habit with M did NOT stop. I realized last summer that I was playing with fire. I also realized last summer how my selfish habit with M had depleted me both spiritually and physically. It had definitely also weakened my love life with my wife, especially in that it greatly weakened my confidence.

    So I somehow ended up at this forum, back in July of 2012.

    Since then my No M mission has had successes and failure. At the moment I am on Day 37 and I am resolved to keep moving forward with it.

    I'm living a simple one day at a time philosophy. I don't spend time thinking about the past any more and I also don't spend much time thinking about the future, except for of course making necessary plans. Each day I tell myself, today I must conquer the next day on my counter. I don't think at all about reaching 100, or 75, or 200, or whatever. I only think about whatever number is next on my counter.

    My philosophy also includes the thoughts which I tell myself and others, "no bargaining, no negotiation".

    Thank you for reading this.

    Have a nice day.

  2. freethinker

    freethinker Guest


    I think I speak for many by saying that I'm glad you decided to stay. I'm just a newb but I believe the diversity of life experiences that all the members bring to this forum can somehow help us all battle this common problem together.

    I think you've figured out you have friends here. Count me as one. Take it one day at a time and come here when you feel really vulnerable. Power in numbers Bro! This road is a bitch and the compulsions are overwhelming. I know. I've been at it so long (PMO, MO) that, as I posted alsewhere, I feel like one of the "Fapping Founding Fathers". Don't be overly hard on yourself if you slip either. Just get back on that bronco and ride.
  3. LTE

    LTE Master Of My Domain

    So you are now our tertiary Arthur.

    Stay with us my brother.
  4. thank you to you both.
  5. Phoenix Rising

    Phoenix Rising The Path is the Goal

    Glad to hear you decided to stay, bro. You've given me support and likewise I'm giving you support, too. That's what we're here for. Keep it up.
  6. Re: M-Free (newest topic)

    thanks Phoenix Rising
  7. TheAndersMan

    TheAndersMan Watch-and-Pray

    Re: M-Free (newest topic)

    Now following your new journal :) Glad to see you back.
  8. Re: M-Free (newest topic)

    thanks, AndersMan
  9. Zed.

    Zed. Steady as she goes...

    Re: M-Free (newest topic)

    Great you came back Arthur, hope you're good and all my best to you for Level 3...
  10. Re: M-Free (newest topic)

    Level 3. That might be the first thing that made me smile today.
  11. mountainbiker

    mountainbiker New Member

    Re: M-Free (newest topic)

    Yeah....I was sad to see your other post....glad you're still here man.

  12. FindingSanctuary

    FindingSanctuary One foot before the other.

    Re: M-Free (newest topic)

    What they said. :)
  13. Re: M-Free (newest topic)

    thank you MTBR


    Evening is a time when quiet unfolds
    Covering everything with a hush
    A man clings to his life and holds
    His own sense as nil, not much
  14. Re: M-Free (newest topic)

    Honestly, I'm really embarassed by this.

    I'm basically a guy who tries really hard to do good things and also very often falls flat on his ass.

    But I also thank you FindingSanctuary
  15. Re: M-Free (newest topic)

    "much of the time I am a very weak, insecure man vulnerable to giving in to mood swings."

    I posted that about myself in another thread.

    It's true, but it's also true that for these past 29 days I've been (most of the time) a totally different person.

    If you could ask my wife (and you won't have that opportunity) but if you could ask her, she would tell you of how amazed she is by how I am different.

    So, this No M (or No PMO, if that is your particular mission) thing really works with respect to helping a person to change.

    I am very grateful for how God has helped me to become a different person these past 29 days.

    I'm not at all, not in the least, crippled.

    I am walking forward.

    I'm anticipating now the counter changing to 30.

    For me the counter means one day at a time and also reflects my commitment to not go back. It means to me, my goal for today is very simple, to conquer 30.

    Tomorrow my goal will be to conquer 31.

    And so on.

    Wishing all the best
    Arturo (formerly Arthur Redux)
  16. reus234

    reus234 Member

    Re: M-Free (newest topic)

    Hi Arturo,

    Great to have you back.

    We can all conquer this threw the strenght we recieve from the lord. I am also not posting to much now for the simple reason I am not led by the HS to do so.

    I have also tried to help people and also landed flat on my ass. Maybe such is life, but hey we must stay strong and carry-on forward.

    Great job on the upcomimg 30.
  17. Re: M-Free (newest topic)

    thanks Reus ... and just to reiterate, it was my own fault I fell flat on my ass.

    And I greatly appreciate the encouragement you gave that pertains to the faith we both have.

    I'll keep your thoughts in mind :)

    Best wishes and prayers
  18. Re: M-Free (newest topic)

    Today is Good Friday, and it's traditional in the country where I live to have breakfast together on this day, (because many people have the day off) and also there are some particular foods eaten as well.

    So my wife, AFM, and I enjoyed a really wonderful breakfast together. I was just basking in their love and acceptance and appreciation of me. Their love and friendship mean the world to me and I thank God for them, that He brought them both into my life.

    We laughed a lot too and made a lot of jokes.

    A joyful heart is good medicine,
    But a broken spirit dries up the bones.

    --Proverbs 17:22
  19. LTE

    LTE Master Of My Domain

    Re: M-Free (newest topic)

    I have Good Friday off too. No special plans except R&R.
  20. Re: M-Free (newest topic)

    10-4, LTE :)
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