Losing erection when about to penetrate.

Discussion in 'Erectile Dysfunction / Delayed Ejaculation' started by Axiomatic, Nov 19, 2013.

  1. richard29

    richard29 Member

    Don't you think there could be some porn influence though? Less the actual visual element, but perhaps the M element. For instance, for years I've been watching porn and edging - you know, watch a scene, maybe jack off a bit and then chill out and watch another, building to a climax an hour later, intermittently M'ing and letting my erection go from full strength to half strength with the breaks and so on..

    Surely that kind of routine may have wired in some faulty sexual ideas about not needing a solid erection 100% of the time.

    I'd be interested to know if the OP often PMO'ed like I did, in that you edged over long periods letting your erection reside and reappear when you found a scene / image that turned you on?
  2. Yes, I agree. That kind of behaviour probably does condition one to have erratic erections. Would make sense to me.

    I think chronic ED is a compound of many things to many of us - PIED being the central aspect for some, PA being the central aspect for others, often further aggrevated by PMO.
  3. Axiomatic

    Axiomatic Member

    I have not fantasized since May 2011. And thanks, best of luck to you too!

    I used to PMO a lot. Two to three times a day. There were times that I would edge to a ton of different videos before releasing but majority of the time I really Only death gripped
    And tried to finish as soon as possible.
  4. boston

    boston New Member

    Thinking about your erection will kill your erection, every time.
  5. Something similar happened to me few days back. May I know, how did it you overcome this?
  6. ukcraigs

    ukcraigs New Member

    Bump, this is a relevant thread.

    Anybody else suffering with flat CS, an inch or so before the start of the glans?

    Anybody fixed this? I always thought my flat CS was a genetic thing, but I';m being told it's muscular - that is, we can change it.
  7. WhirlwindTobias

    WhirlwindTobias Man Against Mediocrity

    It can kick in at any time mate, even during intercourse. I always lose my erection when having sex with a girl I'm really into the first time because I'm constantly analysing the situation to see if she is enjoying it.

    It's ironic; If I don't like the girl that much I can stay hard and go at it several times a night, no shits given. However if I like the girl, I go limp during and then she thinks I'm not attracted to her. Lol. Then I have to explain that it's the opposite, she learns how much I care about her pleasure (too much), and after a few more sessions I start to relax and we can enjoy ourselves no problem.
  8. biff

    biff Member

    I'm similar. The last few times I tried to have sex, I was adequately hard upon penetration, but quickly lost it. I'm so incredibly desensitized to the sensation of a vagina that my first reaction upon penetrating is to panic from the sense that I won't be able to orgasm.

    I think you need to try another strategy: When your girlfriend is giving you a hand job, switch to the position of PIV with the goal of completing ONLY a couple (one or two) really good thrusts, then return to the hand job while your still good and erect. Over time, increase the number of PIV thrusts, and after a while you'll be able to have normal sex.

    The idea with this strategy is that you're removing the pressure of having to complete the sex act. You should be able to complete at least a single good thrust when you first start out because you know that you'll be switching back to a position (hand job) where you know you'll be able to finish.
  9. toffeebhoy89

    toffeebhoy89 Member

    I also had this problem with my (now ex) gf, here's what I did...

    Be on top of her and kiss and cuddle her etc., you might have a 60-70% erection but not hard enough to penetrate. Just concentrate on kissing and all the other stuff that you say makes you erect and don't think about penetration, just be on top of her and look in to her eyes and carry on kissing. Try and penetrate momentarily and come out again, keep doing this and you will keep getting harder and harder until you have 100% erection, the build up will make her horny too.

    Worked for me but might not be for everyone.
  10. Goobyesally

    Goobyesally New Member

    Hey homies,

    I have a simular problems. I get stiff until entering.

    I have had this problem sense around 17 when I lost my virginity and to this day. (5 years later)

    Now I have a GF as well and she knows my problem but I hate it! Should I see a doctor? Or is there like a sergery I can get so my dick actually works or what?

    Cause I am so sick of this shit and want to be bangin more. But I mean it works for porn. Handies and BJs but sex or anal once I get ready and try to enter its gone 90% of the time.

    And I mean it really sucks cause sex is what is always on my mind. I saw people are addicted to porn or whatever but I enjoy that shit. I want more porn but more sex also. So it sucks to be me.

    One guy online said less maturbation would help and Im like "Dude I get hard like rock hard ready to pump it. But the second I try to pump it in its gone."

    Now outta the 10% I do great and it does go inside, most the time I still wont be blowing a load. 1/2 the time thats cause I am worried about getting chicks pregos. But the other half is from the same problem.

    Is there anyway to idk train my dick or something?
  11. Nomadic

    Nomadic Member

    I have this problem from time to time and used to have it all the time. Here's 2 ways I fixed it. Also since I could get hard as hell before sex, bj's, hj's...etc. I knew it was a psychological thing. So let's throw surgery ...etc out the window as that's unnecessary.
    1-Eliminate (or try to GREATLY reduce) m/b and no porn. Once I did this my dick was way more sensitive. It was no longer "trained" to be jerked off by my hand with a death grip. The longer I stayed away from m/b and porn, the harder I for sex. And like I said I used to have this problem ALL the time. For YEARS.
    2-Assist your penetration-These are 2 methods I use that work GREAT for this issue:
    1) I'm an ass man and my g/f has a great one. As foreplay after kissing/oral I rub myself on her cheeks as she lay on her stomach. It gets me excited, her excited and I'll rub low where she is wet all the way to the top of her butt. Her crack is like a bun for a hot dog (sorry for cheesy metaphor but it's kind of accurate). So my penis is being stimulated and hard and then when it's time to enter you just go inside instead of rubbing on her down there. I love the flat from behind doggie style.
    2) Rub on her pussy from the front while kissing going up and down. Usually if I'm semi-hard and do this, I get very hard eventually and it can lubricate her as well if she's turned on.

    Anyway, these methods have worked well for me. Obviously an understanding partner who doesn't put pressure on you works as well. And don't put it on yourself. I often say, "well I hope penis is up to the task. I can't make any guarantees." And she'll laugh and say OK. It subtlely takes the pressure off you. It's out there that if doesn't work, you still tried and fooled around and had fun anyway.
  12. Kinpika

    Kinpika New Member

    Thank you all for the information. I don’t think this is available elsewhere. The posts are so forthright and helpful. So, in thanks, let me add my bit - and it’s a little bit different.

    Last night I had to wear a condom: because it was with a new girl who required it. Not only did it stay stiff when in (missionary), but seemed to get stiffer and I had to hold back and so just stayed still.

    She apparently didn’t like the idea of this and so rolled me over to put me in when she above (so she could move?). No way, I thought. For years I haven’t been able to get/remain stiff enough to do that. I knew what was going to happen (but just stayed silent). Wrong: in it went and she went fully in and fully out on it.

    Is it that the condom acted as a sort of support? Or, perversely, could it have actually increased sensitivity?

    There was also a fair amount of lube: because the most frequent loss of a stiff one for me is trying to push in… And it was a good idea to get the very largest size of condom (although my size certainly doesn't require it) because they are easier to get on and therefore quicker to get on.
  13. Brennan

    Brennan New Member

    Hi, I was wondering if this is normal for people without ED, as im trying to diagnose how severe mine is (or if its just in my head). After doing kegels I think my ED may be completely gone or at least much less severe. My only issue is penetration. Sometimes when I try to penetrate I encounter some resistance (either shes not super wet yet, or im missing the whole slightly). When this occurs, I lose my erection; not completely but noticeable. I just need a few seconds to get it harder, and then try again. I always get it in... it just may take a few tries. I was just wondering if this is normal
    btw. It's ok when I'm using magic meds to stay hard all time.
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2017

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