Lookn for a partner im 40

Discussion in 'Accountability Partners' started by Sebs, Jul 6, 2021.

  1. Sebs

    Sebs Member

    Any friend to talk about porn adiction, support, chat etc...
  2. Boo1001

    Boo1001 New Member

    Hey Sebs,
    I'm 39 and looking for an accountability partner and support.

    I'm new to this forum but have been working on recovery on and off for a long time.
  3. Mufasa

    Mufasa New Member

    Hi Sebs and Boo1001.

    I’m 41 and also looking for accountability partners/group. I’m new in this forum as well.

    I’m happy to support and also need your support on accountability.

    Hope to hear from you guys. :)
  4. Mufasa

    Mufasa New Member

    I posted my story on the forum for Erectile dysfunctional / delayed ejaculation. I have repeated here below:

    Hi guys!

    I just registered this week. Read alot of your stories and still reading more!

    I’m based in Kenya and really appreciate the comments everyone has posted on these forums. I am not alone in this and amazed on the common difficulties i have which is talked about here.

    Let me tell my story….

    I first started watching internet porn in 2002 where in that time we were lucky to download videos through streaming sites like Kazaa and the likes. Though My first glimpse of porn was in my primary school days where there were magazines and old VHS tapes which my brother hid from my parents until he was finally caught!

    Back to 2002, I started watching porn as a hobby to pass some time. There were some days I could do a full week of porn other weeks a few days. I kept downloading porn videos and burned them on CDs. So i kept a library of videos. As years passed streaming of porn came in from 2007 onwards and here I believe is where i got hooked on porn. I have PMO’d since then. I struggled in relationships where I couldn’t perform decent sex and suffered ED. I never understood why and I guess it was pride in myself that I never thought it could be induced from exessive porn and masterbation. It is only in 2020 when my girlfriend at the time (now my wife) pointed out this issue. I still didn’t take the seriousness it deserved until it really affected my sex and intimacy with her. In December 2021 I made a decision to stop watching porn altogether as I married my girlfriend the same month as she was moving in to my place. I haven’t watched porn since then though I know i did sneek porn viewing once in 2022 but never again. I have managed to reduce my masterbation but reding through these forums, I am convinced I need to stop masterbation as well.

    I last masterbated 2 weeks ago and will try my best to keep it that way. I want to join in the fight against PORN and masterbation and want to be held accountable. One of the forums I read mentioned about having the tight partner who oves you and willing to support. That I am in agreement and helps a lot that someone you love wants your success to defeat this monster of PORN and masterbation. I have struggled with anxiety and self defeat mentality which i believe has contribtued to my ED. I have taken measures of doing pyscotheray to help explore CBT as well.

    The steps I also want to take is to exercise regularly. For the last 20 years I have been very inactive and want to get back into hobbies like swimming. I want to eat more healthy food as I’ve had a lot of fast food/junk food. I want to improve on my sleeping patterns during the week as I somestimes average 5 -6 hours sleep. Meditation is on my list and joining support groups like this.

    I want to keep increasing my days of no PORN and masterbation and I want to be more intimate with my wife. Having sex with her in the past has giving me anxiety and focusing to have and maintain an erection. this has offcourse caused he concern and suspects I masterbate in the bathroom. I want to build trust ith her and have mutual love and friendship to have sex on equal terms and have intimacy as we want to have a family.

    My advice to younger men, don’t be ignorant or proud that you don’t have PIED issues. Recognize the problem early and accept you have a problem. I regret wasting so many years of watching porn and masterbating that it has affected my previous relationships and is affecting my marriage now.

    I want to read more of your posts and support you guys and hope I get advice and learn from you as well.
  5. Burnt Tao

    Burnt Tao New Member

    Anyone here still looking for an AP?
  6. DBA

    DBA Active Member

    Hi Burnt Tao,

    Good to see that you are doing this. Let me know how you get on, either by posting here or by starting a new conversation with me.

    I know that Newwaynewlife is looking for an AP. Put his name into the search box and look for his latest posts.
    I think you differ in how long you have been on this site, but you can discuss that in deciding whether to be

    I don't think that APs or recovery partners have to be matched for age.

    The main thing is that you work together and support each other, preferably by having daily conversations
    (by clicking on Start a new conversation in your account, filling in the two names, with a comma
    between them, giving a title to the conversation and clicking on the bottom box to lock the conversation as private to the two of you).
    You then just reply to each other by posting as on the main site.
  7. Burnt Tao

    Burnt Tao New Member

    Thank you DBA, I just sent him a message. I don't think we need to be matched for age but just from being on this site, I was on here before a while back and spent a lot of time reading success stories and journals as well as on NoFap, a 20 something has grown up in a very different world than a 40 something and probably sees the world quite differently. Well not necessarily a bad thing, it can get in the way of communication as the accountability partner relationship builds over time.
    Just my experience.
    But thank you for reaching out, it helps me more than you would imagine.

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