Made it through last night intact. Did not sleep well, although had an hour or two of deep sleep this morning. I've spent most the day writing, and a good part of the day crying. It turns out that approval seeking is a theme in my current chapter, and that writing about this has been pushing my buttons in a big way. I grew up in a military family, and that really fucked with my ability to just be myself. There's nothing like ass-kissing your way up the chain of command to finally get the love you're looking for at the top, only to discover that love is non-existent at the top. I've done some good healing in the past around this, and a little more was done today. I've had a few urges to medicate my feelings, and so far, have stayed on track. No easy thing.