Looking for love in all the wrong places...

Discussion in 'Ages 40+' started by NCBob, May 6, 2014.

  1. NCBob

    NCBob The 11th commandment: Thou shalt not peek:-)

    Learn to recognize the counterfeit coins
    that may buy you just a moment of pleasure,
    but then drag you for days
    like a broken man
    behind a farting camel.

    14th Century Sufi poet Hafiz
     
  2. NCBob

    NCBob The 11th commandment: Thou shalt not peek:-)

    Gave in to my urges on Saturday. I had a really hard time managing feelings of being stressed out, overwhelmed (with both excitement and fear), and just plain horniness. Friday night, I woke up with a boner at 3:00 am, unconsciously went to my computer, sat down, but did not surf because the computer was off. I was too tired to turn it on, and I went back to bed. I should have known that I was primed for a run with porn soon...

    Not beating my self up, just looking for opportunities for growth and changes in my mindset/behaviors.

    All the while, some really good things happening with my business, which will help with my finances. Still tight now, but by mid-August, I should get some significant income and relief.

    There is clearly a disconnect (in a good way) between what the universe is providing me, and what I am expecting. Sometimes it is really difficult to accept how well things are working out, when how they work out this well falls outside my ability to understand how it comes to pass.

    I need to work on my faith and trust in all things good :)
     
  3. tonym

    tonym Member

    your on the site posting and aware that PMO is not the answer. give yourself credit for that and look ahead. :)
     
  4. NCBob

    NCBob The 11th commandment: Thou shalt not peek:-)

    Thanks, tonym. Sometimes that's the best we can do :)
     
  5. Mozenjo

    Mozenjo Well-Known Member

    I'm back to square one too, bud. It's morning in America :)
    Another step in the process. As difficult as it is to see sometimes, I truly believe the persistence will pay off.
    Have a great day!
     
  6. NCBob

    NCBob The 11th commandment: Thou shalt not peek:-)

    I agree, Mozenjo. All we need to do is keep stepping into the batters box. The pitches will always been thrown at us, and if we're willing to swing, eventually we'll connect :) You have a terrific day as well!
     
  7. NCBob

    NCBob The 11th commandment: Thou shalt not peek:-)

    I'm balls to the walls trying to finish a business project that is due tomorrow. Noticing that my addict is floating in and out of my consciousness. Big time stress correlates with wanting to numb the mind with porn. Not going there, and I need to acknowledge what's going on inside my head. Looking forward to the day that this doesn't happen. Not there yet...
     
  8. Mozenjo

    Mozenjo Well-Known Member

    You will get there. Awareness is a huge first step.
    Good luck with your deadline. Reward yourself with something positive, preferably something off the grid...exercise is a great way to burn off nervous energy.
     
  9. NCBob

    NCBob The 11th commandment: Thou shalt not peek:-)

    I'd prepared myself to do an all-nighter to get the project finished, got everything done earlier than expected, stayed away from straying on the computer, and ended up being able to get 4 hours sleep. That in of itself was a bonus :)

    Now, to go out for a run...
     
  10. Mozenjo

    Mozenjo Well-Known Member

    Nice job! A good run after meeting a deadline must have been great. And I bet you'll sleep like a log tonight.
     
  11. WRAT

    WRAT Active Member

    NCB, good job. Working towards deadlines, especially in front of a computer, are huge triggers for me. Thanks for the motivation.
     
  12. Hi NCB

    Stay positive, keep running and posting on here and you will overcome.

    You have already made good progress.
     
  13. NCBob

    NCBob The 11th commandment: Thou shalt not peek:-)

    thanks, Mozenjo :) better to sleep like a log than play with my log, lol:)
     
  14. NCBob

    NCBob The 11th commandment: Thou shalt not peek:-)

    thanks, WRAT, I appreciate that :)
     
  15. NCBob

    NCBob The 11th commandment: Thou shalt not peek:-)

    Much appreciated, Jacknotso young :) I just completed some challenging work in a very successful way, and I can feel my addict kicking into gear trying to convince me that I need porn as a reward. This is a place where I easily start down that slippery slope. Arghhhhh!!!!

    A run would be a really good choice. This is a struggle :(
     
  16. Mozenjo

    Mozenjo Well-Known Member

    Yes, it's a struggle. This first week is always tough, followed by that nasty second week, my real nemesis.
    Hope you're getting the rest you need. You'll need your batteries charged for the challenges ahead. Just think of how good it feels to pass on the old patterns...
     
  17. Mozenjo

    Mozenjo Well-Known Member

    Hey there NCB, just checking in. Hope you had a great weekend and that things are going well!
     
  18. Mozenjo

    Mozenjo Well-Known Member

    What's the good word, man? Looks like you're cruising right along. 2 weeks is a great checkpoint.
     
  19. NCBob

    NCBob The 11th commandment: Thou shalt not peek:-)

    hey, Mozenjo :) Thanks for checking in. It's been a challenging week - work keeping me very busy (in a good way), and my addiction trying to force the issue. All said and done, no PMO. As they say, weebles wobble but they don't fall down:)

    How are things with you? Have a terrific weekend!
     
  20. Mozenjo

    Mozenjo Well-Known Member

    That's great! Haven't heard that one in awhile. Yeah, pmo can try to knock us over, but no go this time!
    I'm glad you are enjoying your work. It's so important, considering the time it takes.
    Keep on truckin'!
    Wow, the guys in the 20-something forum would read our old sayings and wonder WTF we are talking about :)
     

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