Looking for help with DE from her perspective

Discussion in 'Erectile Dysfunction / Delayed Ejaculation' started by MrsDE, Jun 20, 2022.

  1. MrsDE

    MrsDE New Member

    Hi all,
    My partner of 17 years has always suffered with DE mainly due to death grip but also I believe porn had a massive part to play, also he did not lose his virginity until he was 18,
    He had only had 2 sexual partners before we got together, and it's been the same with all sexual partners, he has never been able to achieve orgasm through any other way apart from self masterbation, I am unable to replicate this,
    We have thankfully managed to conceive our children by him masterbating and then inserting just before orgasm, and this has pretty much been how we have always ended sex and we've just learned to live with it,

    However as our children have got a little older and we have a bit more time to explore our sex lives again recently it has become something we would both really love to solve, I would just like him to be able to experience sex without any pressure and to experience an orgasm that I am able to give him,

    So I'm wondering if anyone who has successfully cured delayed ejaculation could tell me how?

    He has contacted our Dr who said because he is able to cum through Masterbating then it's not a physical issue and should be cureable and has reffered him to see a sexual health psychologist, but the wait could be months and months and so I wondered if there is things I/We could try in the meantime?

    PhoenixSun likes this.
  2. Thisworld

    Thisworld Member

    I cured my DE by
    -stop porn
    -stop masturbation
    -stop fetish fantasy, fetish roleplay etc
    Could be that your husband has trained himself to cum to a very specific scenario/kink which you guys are not replicating in bed? Or maybe to a very specific fast paced stroking?

    It will take time, but if these are the causes it can surely be reversed, good luck

    Edit: one usefull tip is to normally have sex, if he can't cum, don't force orgasm with masturbation, just wait few days till the next time and try again
    PhoenixSun likes this.
  3. MrsDE

    MrsDE New Member


    He definetly grips way harder than im able to replicate and used to watch alot of porn but hasn't been watching that for a few months now,

    We are 5 days into a masterbation ban and for the first time ever he felt like he was going to cum last night from a BJ although he didn't it was still a massive improvement,

    We've been together 17 years and have always just muddled along but we've recently renewed our wedding vows and it's given us a real spark back and we are both determined to try everything now,
    StarWarsFan likes this.
  4. PhoenixSun

    PhoenixSun New Member

    I have pretty much the exact same situation. I have someone who is very attractive and whom I have a very strong bonded relationship with. I have been dealing with DE since my mid-forties and I am now 59. I have only been able to cum inside of her once and don't remember the exact details that led up to it other than I had the right amount of friction or whatever it was went perfectly. She is the most amazing lover I have ever experienced. We have great chemistry. She is small and tight on the inside and that helps immensely! I can start to get up the hill as I call it towards the emission stage, but not over the top to orgasm.

    I have completely given up porn. I was never into movies, videos or cam shows or whatever, but mostly just photos. I was in an unhappy marriage for over 20 years collecting a lot of photos and decided it wasn't healthy and it was time to get out. The DE started about the last 5 years of my marriage. Every woman I have been with since then I have not been able to cum in except on rare occasion. I am not sure if it is physical or mental.

    I have had two prostate surgeries due to BPH. I had a Urolift and a partial roto rooter job. The doctor made some small cuts to open up the channel. So hopefully no nerve damage. This whole thing scares me a bit because I have this incredible woman and stuff is not working as it should. Every man she had been with before was usually done in 5 mins or less. I take Cialis and Viagra which helps, and I am on 200 mg of Testosterone injections every 2 weeks. My number was 320 which is barely within range.

    I totally got rid of all my porn stash, Photos, Everything. I really have no desire to look at it anyway after meeting the special girl. Occasionally I can't avoid it. So much of this stuff on social media and occasionally I run into photos that pop up. I have pretty much quit masturbating. I only do it when I am with her, and I need to orgasm. I will get to the peak and slide in, or she will swallow me orally. She has orgasms by the dozen and loves to be worn out. It would be nice if I could cum in her the normal way. I know it's something she wants and likes. She is very understanding and supportive which is a huge plus.
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2022
  5. PhoenixSun

    PhoenixSun New Member

    Have you had success with this? I thought about doing the same thing. Waiting to see if it happens without using masturbation to have and orgasm in her.
  6. PhoenixSun

    PhoenixSun New Member

    I think that is a huge part of the battle. It sounds as though you have a very good marriage and relationship. Being emotionally and mentally in the right place goes a long way. I know it is a huge help for me.
  7. PhoenixSun

    PhoenixSun New Member

    I have been reading this book. I found it on Amazon. It has some good stuff. Maybe it would be worth a try.

    Rod Phillips, how to overcome Delayed Ejaculation at home in private. ISBN 9798522308384
  8. Thisworld

    Thisworld Member

    Basically is all about teaching to your brain and body that it will not cum unless it's from vaginal penetration. After a while going with no orgasm you will become extremely sensitive and ejaculation will be easy.

    With this being said if someone had prostate surgery then medical causes may be to blame and should consider consulting with another doc for a second opinion, this doesn't mean tho that the above method will not work anyway
  9. Daniel25

    Daniel25 New Member

    have you heard about the pelvic floor problem? how can you solve this problem? does anyone here practice kegel exercises?
  10. johnnylea

    johnnylea Member

    Coconut oil is a big thing to help regain sensitivity after death gripping so much. Apply it everyday after a shower, twice a day at the most. I visit the delayed ejaculation sub reddit at times and most posters swear by coconut oil and how its improved their ejaculation and regained sensitivity.
    PhoenixSun likes this.

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